**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 90.11.11 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> GENDER BENDER St Kenneth's Memorial Hospital on Earth will be offering a new service to patients from tomorrow - Sex Change While-U-Wait! Those who are troubled by their gender can simply visit the casualty ward, type and pay over the extremely reasonable sum of 500 Imperial Groats, at which point the appropriate bits will be lopped off or glued onto their bodies. Quite how this will affect the already salacious goings-on in Chez Diesel, we are not sure. We wait with baited breath! **>> PLAYBOY PIEMUR Talking of salacious behaviour, it has come to our attention that rumours are flying around Fed Data Space about the Head of the Conclave. It seems he has developed quite a reputation as a "lady's man". We spoke to several women who had encountered him, and were quite astounded at their descriptions of him as "hunky", "gorgeous", "stud", and other similar epiphets that we cannot reproduce in this family organ. Perhaps we should take another look at Piemur. There are obviously facets to his personality that have hitherto escaped us! **>> MUSICAL CONCLAVE Speaking of the Head of the Conclave, we can confidently predict quite a few changes in the make up of that august body over the next week or so. Piemur has sold off his huge empire of factories in order to finance his continuing quest for GM-hood, and as soon as his company finishes its current accounting period his networth will plummet, leaving Merkin the Top of the Heap. But we hear that Merkin has also been unloading his properties, so not long after he gains his position as Cream of the Crop, he will lose it again! Next in line to be Leader of the Pack is Lady. This will cause us something of a dilemma. As you know, we at H-by-A feel that whoever is the Top Dog is fair game for our reporters. However, our chief source of gossip in the past has been none other than Lady herself. Once she is the target of our probing, will she be as forthcoming? We think not! So if anyone else wishes to volunteer to pry into the dirty secrets of others on our behalf, we will be only too willing to discuss an arrangement which could be financially rewarding. **>> ODDS 'N' ENDS Talking of changes, Our Illustrious Leader is providing a host of new features in tomorrow's version of the game. With the exception of the sex change mentioned above, there is nothing particularly radical, just odds and ends designed to make life in Fed Data Space a little easier for all. First, the word can now be used to pick up objects, as well as . That horrendously user-hostile extension to the command, which no-one ever uses because they can't remember how it works, is being simplified. Thank goodness! It will now accept just one word as a replacement for the verb "says". To use it, just put a slash after the single or double quote and then the verb you want to use. For example: >"/squeals Hi everybody will result in: >Newbod squeals, 'Hi everybody' As before, it will only work with a single or double quote, and the slash must be directly after the quote. If you offer a job to someone, the goods will now be delivered to your warehouse on the destination planet instead of being sold straight to the exchange. This will make it much more useful for factory owners wishing to supply inputs to their plants! If there is no room in the warehouse, the goods will be sold to the exchange as before. The command, which shows the highest player for each rank, will in future also show the requirements for promotion to each level. **>> PROMOTION NEWS Speaking of promotions, congratulations to Florence who is now a JourneyPerson. No doubt she will soon be chasing Piemur as he struggles with the GM puzzle! Lady is also well on her way to having the requisite stats to start unravelling the conundrum. Piemur has made a little progress in the puzzle, but is still some way off putting all the pieces together. Santiago hasn't been seen for some time. If anyone knows his whereabouts, would they please contact the Galactic Administration's Missing Persons Bureau. It is our intention to honour everyone who achieves promotion in this weekly Bulletin. However, we don't always get to hear about promotions, since they often scroll off the top of the SpyNet Review before we see them, so if you want to see your name in lights, drop us some mail and we'll mention you. **>> PROMOTIONS STOP PRESS Hold the front page! (Or whatever the equivalent is for electronic media.) News just in - Niun has also made it to JP. You'd better pull your socks up, Piemur! **>> WELCOME NEW PLAYERS GEnie's Star Services has resulted in a rush of new members to the system, and some of them are starting to venture into Fed Data Space. We would like to extend a warm welcome to you all. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you get stuck, we're all happy to help out. But please, do Read The Fine Manual! There's a lot more to Fed than at first meets the eye, and if you don't read the instructions you will be missing out on many enjoyable facets of the game. And existing players - please, be patient with newbods! We're sure you all asked the same stupid questions when you first started playing Fed. Mind you, if someone starts being a real pain in the posterior, swearing or insulting other players, feel free to shoot them! Or you can report it to Da Management and we will have a word with the offending persons. Just use the Feedback option from the Fed menu. However, we have found that ignoring them and hoping they will go away is often the best way to deal with "GrounHogs from Hell". You can turn your comms units off, and carry on conversing with your friends via XT messages. If nuisances don't get any response, they soon give up. They are not usually worth getting upset about! We have had reports that a few people have been unable to download the manual due to peculiarities of their software/hardware configurations. We're trying to find a way around this, and hope to be able to provide an ASCII version that you can read online. Meanwhile, we are also working to update the online manual to take account of the many recent changes to the game. While these are all covered in the Version Notes file, it makes it a little confusing for new players, who have to try to merge the two together! Expect to see a new version of the Guide in the next few weeks. **>> SPECIAL EVENTS Saturday November 17 at 3.00pm EDT will see the first of our Introductory Sessions, designed to help new players get started in the game. If you know someone who is interested in the game, why not tell them to come along? If you introduce a new player to the game during one of these sessions you will receive a large amount of groats for your trouble. And if you feel like lending a hand at our Introductory Sessions, you'll be reimbursed for your time. Scorpia's Games RT, which has a Fed category and a Fed file library, will be holding a Fed RTC some time during November, where you will be able to ask questions of Our Illustrious Leader, Bella - the brains behind Federation II. The date hasn't been confirmed yet - we'll let you know in next week's news. **>> ADVERTISE YOURSELF! There are now four JPs on the game regularly, who can offer jobs to Captains and Commanders. Competition between these Poor People is rife, and many have embarked on advertising campaigns to persuade the JPs that their delivery service is better than everyone else's. But a plea from the JPs - please, don't advertise for work until you know your way around the Solar System! It pisses the Rich People off if their goods don't get delivered on time. The JPs keep a reliability list and compare notes frequently - you don't want to end up on the blacklist! Don't forget, there is a Solar System map in the Fed BBS (SCORPIA CAT 29). It's topic 7. **>>CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Cryptosporidium, Bella or Clem in the game * leave a message in the game log * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu Federation II has a category in Scorpia's Games RT. To get there, type M805,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 29. The Scorpia RT also has a Federation II library in the files area, Library 22. **>> BULLETIN ENDS