**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 90.11.18 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> THE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO FEDERATION II It's here! After what seemed like aeons of waiting, the printed, unexpurgated version of the Guide is available from GEnie. As well as oodles of inside information that players of all levels will find indispensable, the Guide contains detailed appendices, lots of pictures, and a different joke! Yours for the paltry sum of $12.95, you can obtain this amazing publication by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu and following the prompts. And since Christmas is coming, why not order several to give to all your friends? (Well, it's worth a try, isn't it?) **>> THE INCREDIBLE CHANGING COMMAND! Do you remember in last week's news we told you about changes in the game? Of course you do, because you always pay attention, don't you? Do you recall that we informed you that when JPs offer jobs to Poor People, the goods will go into their warehouses rather than being sold directly onto the exchange? This change was a direct result of a request from two of the JPs, Piemur and Merkin. They thought it would make running factories much easier. So Our Illustrious Leader spent days slaving over a hot keyboard implemented this change. But when we mentioned it in last week's news, the other JPs threw up their hands in horror. 'No, no, no!' they cried. 'We want the goods to go straight to the exchange!' And by this time, both Piemur and Merkin had sold most of their factories anyway! So Bella chucked the new code into the bin, scowling at indecisive JPs who can't make up their minds... and goods were left being sold directly onto the exchanges! **>> POOR DEAD PEOPLE PART I Poor Blackmark. He was exploring the Martian Ruins recently and blundered into the maze, where he remained trapped. In desperation, he suicided and was miraculously transported to the hospital on Earth. While making his way back to the Landing Pad, and then to purchase more insurance, he bumped into Explorer Hazed. Being a sympathetic sort of person, Hazed asked him how he had died. Blackmark started to explain, and included the word "suicide" in his remark. Unfortunately, he left the quote off the front of his speech... the game thought he was typing in a command, picked up the word "suicide" and complied with his request. Blackmark was dead-dead! He returned to the game and has made it back to Captain. But I think in future, he will refrain from including the word "suicide" in any of his speeches - or if he does, he would be wise to mis-spell it! **>> POOR DEAD PEOPLE PART II Poor Badvog has also suffered an untimely end. He accidentally flew into the sun the other day (at least, one assumes he didn't do it on purpose!) and was extremely shocked to find that he didn't wake up in the hospital, but was dead-dead! At this point, he remembered that he had previously died while helping Merkin blow up the Martian Ruins, and had neglected to re-insure. He has reluctantly decided that he cannot face starting again from scratch. We're sorry to lose him, and hope he will drop in occasionally to say "Hi" and enjoy a pint of Diesel's Old Peculiar. **>> POOR DEAD PEOPLE PART III A few new players have been coming to grief when they discover a large silver mirror, hanging in space near Venus, and decide to fly through it to see what is on the other side. We will say one word: DON'T! You need to improve your vital statistics quite considerably before you can go through the looking glass and survive. It is, in fact, part of the awesome GM puzzle that Piemur is still musing upon. He has admitted responsibility for leaving the mirror lying around in such an inconvenient place, and has offered to compensate all Poor People who have been killed by it. Get your claims in before he changes his mind! **>> POOR DEAD PEOPLE PART IV Aeron is trying her hand at the JP puzzle. On her first attempt, she failed and managed to blow up half of Mars, leaving a dirty great big crater where the ruins used to be. In the process she killed herself and her helpers, and severely damaged Spock's ship, which had been left on the Landing Pad. Let this be a warning to you all: next time you notice someone trying the JP puzzle, get off Mars! **>> POOR DEAD PEOPLE PART V Actually, there are no more stories about dead people. Except the next one, which has a much more interesting headline! **>> STRANGESTORM AND THE ICE MAIDEN Young Commander Strangestorm got himself into a bit of a pickle last week. Not long after he entered Fed Data Space for the very first time, he discovered the existance of the command. What fun! he thought, and proceeded to use it on any women he came across. They soon got a bit annoyed at this, and asked him to stop. He wouldn't. They started to get angry and demanded that he cease and desist. He carried on groping. Lady lost her temper, and with steam coming out of her ears screamed at him to STOP, NOW, THIS INSTANT! And he still didn't pack it in. So Occy caught him unawares in the Interplanetary Wastes and shot him down. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that this would teach him his lesson and he would behave himself henceforth. They were wrong. He carried on groping, and also threatened Occy with all sorts of dire things. It wasn't until Lady offered a 1 meg reward to whoever would rid her of the troublesome groper that he realised he might, just maybe, have made some powerful enemies! We sent one of our reporters to interview Strangestorm. He declined to make any comment. But he does seem to be behaving himself these days! **>> WHERE'S THAT GRAND MASTER? As you probably know, once you have the requirements for Trader - a networth of 1 meg, a trader rating of 1,400, and one warehouse - you have to log on and off a few times until you get visited by Da Messenger; and then you have to search for the Grand Master who will confirm you in your appointment. Heliogopo... Helioglob... Helioglop... (we give up!) Helio fulfilled all the requirements and had Da Visit from Da Messenger, and then started to look for Da Grand Master. He searched most of the game, with no success, and decided to come back the next day to cover the bits he hadn't reached. Imagine his disgust, then, when he was informed by Bella that he would have to search the entire Solar System again, from scratch! Because every time the game starts up (which it does once each day) he finds a new hiding place. Swearing and cursing, our Gallant Adventurer commenced his search once again. Imagine his delight, then, when he found the GM in about two seconds flat! He was convinced there was some divine intervention from Our Illustrious Leader... **>> HOW TO COPE WITH SILLY NAMES You will have noticed as you read the above story that we had a great deal of trouble spelling Helio-thingy's name. There are other players with names that are quite difficult to type: a new player going under the name of Appleonaneye always makes one pause to check you've spelt it right, not to mention our very own Craptosporidium, or however she spells it! This can cause problems when you want to talk privately to someone, without rushing off to a secret corner and speaking face to face. messages are all very well until you have to type a long and complicated name! After the game telling you you've got it wrong three or four times, you usually give up. Even if you do manage to cope with their name, by putting it on a macro or hot-key, there are times when you want to bring a third person into the conversation. Short of relaying messages back and forth, what can you do? To cope with both these situations, you can transmit your messages over one of the eight communications channels. You tune your comms unit using or and so on, then send the message with instead of or . The message will go only to those who have their comms units tuned to the same channel. This is also useful when there are a lot of people on the game all having different conversations with each other. The airwaves can soon get pretty crowded with ten people all sending comm messages - so if you use different channels it'll be a lot less confusing! And you won't have to type any long names! **>> INTRODUCTORY SESSION Yesterday's Intro Session went well. Four or five GroundHogs took advantage of the help offered to start the game under supervision, and many recent arrivals flocked to ask questions of Explorer Hazed. Thanks to all who helped show people around the game, and welcome to all the new players. The next Intro Session will be held on Sunday December 2. **>> MEET THE STARS Another date for your diary: Wednesday November 28 will be your chance to meet the brains behind Fed Data Space. Scorpia is holding a round table conference starring our very own Alan Lenton, aka Bella, and some of the other people who help bring you Federation II. It's at 9.00pm in Scorpia's RTC - page 805. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Cryptosporidium, Bella or Clem in the game * leave a message in the game log * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu You can order a copy of the unexpurgated Idiot's Guide to Federation II by typing ORDER at any Fed menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. Federation II has a category in Scorpia's Games RT. To get there, type M805,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 29. The Scorpia RT also has a Federation II library in the files area, Library 22. **>> BULLETIN ENDS