**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 91.01.06 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> SHOCK HORROR MAYHEM FROM TOP DOG Fed Data Space was rocked last night when Piemur, one of Fed's leading players, went on a massive killing spree and slaughtered dozens of innocent Commands, and any mobile that got in his way. In an orgy of violence, the likes of which have not been seen since the last Fighting School, Piemur took the spanner to his spaceship and dismounted the twin lasers. Forcing a helpless droid to carry them for him, he roamed the planets murdering anyone he came across. Actually, this story is complete and utter rubbish. We admit it, we made it up. Things have been so quiet as everyone recovers from the frantic partying of Christmas and the New Year that there is very little going on in Fed Data Space - so, with no stories to put in our weekly News Bulletin, we have had to resort to the cheap, low-down trick of inventing the News. Still, it might have been true, in some alternate universe! The rest of this Bulletin will not contain any lies. We promise. **>> JIM SLIPS AWAY We've been receiving reports that Jim (ex-Slippery) has vanished from Fed Data Space without trace. Well, he has left some traces - he still appears in the Conclave. But we have been told that he has closed down all production at his Company, and the Solar System is filled with disgruntled workthings, wandering from labour exchange to job centre, trying to find alternative employment. If anyone knows the whereabouts of Jim, the Galactic Administration's Missing Persons Department would like to hear from them. **>> A TAXING EXPERIENCE! It must be every Fedder's dream to find a way to defraud the Galactic Administration and make millions on the sly. Many have tried to evade the GA's spies but few have escaped their vigilance. The latest in a long string of unsuccessful frauds was perpetuated by Aeron. She thought she was onto a winner when she found a way to make a vast fortune by asset stripping companies then selling them. But the ever-watchful Galactic Administration were alerted by her ever-increasing bank balance, and investigated. They obtained a Court Order enabling them to investigate Aeron's financial affairs, and discovered that she had fraudulently obtained in excess of a hundred million groats. They alerted the IRS, who immediately presented Aeron with a tax bill which she had no choice but to pay, leaving her poorer, and (we hope) wiser. News of her misfortune has been spreading through Fed Data Space, and we hope it will deter others from trying to amass illicit groats on such a large scale. A Spokesthing for the Galactic Administration said they were still investigating her and were looking at the possibility of further large amounts having been secreted away in a private Rigellian bank account. Should this be the case, the GA will take further steps to ensure that all the money is recovered. The Spokesthing denied that the GA had reinstated the death penalty for crimes of fraud, but did not rule it out for the future. **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS Occy has cracked the fiendish JP puzzle without too much trouble, and is now working on increasing her stats so she can tackle the asesome GM puzzle. Aeron has made Explorer, and is now busy designing her planet. Razbeck and Fsv were simultaneously looking for the Grand Master to confirm their rank as Trader. This caused no end of problems for Fsv! Having been found by Razbeck, the Grand Master moved on to a new location, as is his wont, and must have picked a place that Fsv had already searched. Frustrated, Fsv carried on searching the next day, and managed to die several times before Hazed took pity on him and led him around by the hand until he found the Grand Master. Yosiman was promoted to Captain, and wishes to thank Occy for her generosity. Otoole made Adventurer, and in the excitement had a nasty accident with barbells. Undeterred, he carried on working hard and was promoted to Trader a few days later. Don't forget, if you would like your promotion mentioned in the news, tell Hazed or mail us using the FEEDBACK option on the Fed menu. **>> WHO'S WHOM Piemur and Taran have both uploaded biographies in the Fed BBS explaining their origins, and very interesting they are too! We await further life- stories with bated breath. The response to the Fed Jokes topic in the BBS has been truly underwhelming. We can only assume that Fedders are too busy jobbing and trading to think up jokes! **>>CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Cryptosporidium, Bella or Clem in the game * leave a message in the game log * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation II by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. Federation II has a category in Scorpia's Games RT. To get there, type M805,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 29. The Scorpia RT also has a Federation II library in the files area, Library 22. **>> BULLETIN ENDS