**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 91.02.17 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> HIP HIP HOORAY! We've very excited because GEnie has awarded Federation II the title Best New Product of 1990. We'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of you, the players, for making Fed Data Space such a fun place to be. **>> BLACKMARK - THE SEQUEL We've been doing some more investigation into Blackmark's reputation as an utter rotter. And the more we find out, the more we are inclined to believe that he is the victim of a smear campaign by another player! He's asked us not to name this player, for fear of possible reprisals, nor to give any details. Much as it goes against the grain for our hard-nosed investigative reporters to keep anything "off the record", we have in this case agreed to his request. We would like to recommend that everyone lay off Blackmark unless he does something to deserve it. **>> DAUGHTER OF MONDO We have roundly castigated our TypingDroid for referring to Mondo (who is now Samantha) as male, when she was in fact FEmale! Apologies for the error. **>> PROVERB II - THE AUTHOR We can now credit the author of the proverb we printed last week - it was Motormouth. **>> THE RETURN OF BANDOR Following his unfortunate demise, Bandor has decided to start again. We hope you will all do your best to help him regain his lost position. **>> REVENGE OF THE CHASTITY BELT We were somewhat amused to be informed that we are being sued for an item we printed in last week's news. Apparently, Ariel took exception to our piece about her chastity belt, and has engaged Samantha as her attorney. Samantha claims that her client was extremely distressed by our piece, and the severe mental trauma renders her unable to work. She has stated she is looking for damages of 10 meg. Frankly, we don't believe a word of it. This is not the first time an unscrupulous lawyer has tried to get his, her or its hands (or equivalent) on part of the H-by-A loot, and we expect this attempt to be laughed out of court - just as previous attempts have been. **>> PARTY NEWS PART I Kevin's farewell party attracted a tearful crowd of his fans, all broken- hearted to learn of his impending departure from Fed Data Space. They were even more broken-hearted when the man himself failed to show up! He finally appeared, extremely late, giving the excuse that his spaceship had broken down on the way to Mars and he'd had to wait several hours for a mechanic to arrive. Samantha was particularly upset, since she had a bit of a "thing" going with Kevin. Such was her devotion that she even had his initials tattooed on her arm! Kev will be away for between 3 and 6 months. The Galactic Administration will ensure that his persona is kept safe for his return. **>> PARTY NEWS PART II Valentine's Day saw Explorer Hazed hosting a party for all the lovers in Fed Data Space. Unfortunately, none of the lovers in Fed Data Space showed up! Otoole disgraced himself utterly by getting very drunk and insulting everyone else - including Hazed and Cryptosporidium! Not wise. Crypto is now lovingly polishing her twin lasers in preparation for the time Otoole dares to leave the safety of Mars. Otoole also thought it would be amusing to assassinate poor Ender. Ender wanted to have a private chat with his new love, Shawna, and knew there was an object that would tell him if anyone was spying on him. He asked where he could find this object, and Otoole told him it lived in Transuranics. Transuranics is a very dangerous place. There's a radiation sign on the door. Should this not be enough warning, anyone venturing into the lobby finds three doors all marked Keep Out. Opening any of these doors results in a rather painful death by radiation poisoning. Despite these warnings, Ender was quite happily going to wander through the doors - and he had no insurance! Some people obviously like to live dangerously. Shawna realised that Otoole did not have Ender's best interests at heart and tried her best to warn Ender not to do it. Hazed, on discovering that Ender wasn't insured, also advised him that he was taking foolish risks. And eventually he realised he was being set up. Once he'd sobered up, Otoole was very apologetic. But really, Ender was being a little gullible... and anyone who walks through a door marked Keep Out when they are not insured deserves no sympathy! **>> PARTY NEWS PART III Masher has decided to throw a party on Saturday February 23. He will be running three contests, and will be putting up total prize money of one and a half meg. But there's a catch... first, he won't say what the contests will be; and second, there's a 5000 groat entry fee to the contests! **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS Blackmark has made Merchant. Well done. Adol has become a Trader, but doesn't seem to have quite got to grips with his new career. He was plunged into a fit of depression earlier today when he discovered that there is no-one at a higher rank than Explorer! We assume he will not give in to his suicidal tendencies, but will pull himself together and start earning some groats. Occy finally made GM, after what seemed like years of trying! She has asked us to pass on her thanks to everyone who helped her with the puzzle, and to the bystanders who stopped trading and jobbing so that her last attempt would not be slowed down. Both Russ and Merkin are trying the GM puzzle. They have set up a rota so they don't argue about whose turn it is to die! If you would like to see your name in lights, mail us with details of your promotion and we will include it in the News. **>> NEW STUFF Our Illustrious Leader sneaked a couple of changes into the game last week, without informing us so we could put the details in the news. If you have brief descriptions turned on, you will now only get the short description of the room when you enter Fed Data Space. She has tampered with the Trading Exchanges slightly to stop the supply of goods drying up completely when factories are in operation. It should now be easier to get hold of commodities which were in short supply. Coming towards the end of the week will be the tools for Explorers to edit the objects and mobiles they have previously entered. **>> A BIJOU BUGETTE A rather small (and therefore difficult to find) bug has manifested itself in a certain configuration of ship. The current cargo space is ending up bigger than the maximum cargo space - in other words, Jarrow has started selling Tardises! Our Illustrious Leader has been investigating this bug but it has so far proved elusive. As far as we know, only Samantha is suffering from the problem, but if anyone else notices anything wrong with their cargo space, please let us know. The bug has had an unexpected side-effect... Samantha has decided she cannot possibly live with an erroneous ship, and has suicided (twice) again! Will she return for her third go? We shall have to wait and see. Quite where this leaves Ariel's attempt to sue H-by-A, we will also have to wait and see. **>> PLAYING NOW, AT A BAR NEAR YOU... A new singing group has started entertaining the patrons of Chez Diesel. The band features Masher on drums, Gunter on guitar, Otoole as vocalist, and Fenobar on just about everything else (including the kitchen sink). The lads haven't got a name at the moment, so why don't you mail me your suggestions? The best one will win some groats. **>>CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Cryptosporidium, Bella or Clem in the game * leave a message in the game log * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation II by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. Federation II has a category in Scorpia's Games RT. To get there, type M805,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 29. The Scorpia RT also has a Federation II library in the files area, Library 22. **>> BULLETIN ENDS