**>> SPYNET BULLETIN 
 **>> EARTHDATE 91.11.24 
 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE 
 
 
 **>> PLANETS, ROTATION, ECONOMIES - THE RTC 
 
This is what we call being up-to-date! We've just got back to the H-by-A office
having attended a discussion with Our Illustrious Leader and many of the great
and good (and bad) of Fed Data Space. Held in the multi-player games
conference, the main items of discussion were Bella's proposals for junking
rotation, and her plans for a complete re-model of planetary economies. 
 
We will not attempt to summarise here what was said. A complete transcript will
be uploaded tomorrow into the Libraries, and discussion will continue of the
fine details in the BBS. Bella will upload a message detailing the main
decisions taken at the conference. 
 
Our beloved Hazed gave a short talk at the end of conference on special events
in Fed Data Space. She'll also be opening a topic in the BBS about this.
Meanwhile, watch out on Thanksgiving - they'll be something strange wandering
around Fed Data Space! 
 
 
 **>> SO WHAT ELSE IN NEW? 
 
Apart from the discussion about planetary economies, there are two hot debates
running in the Fed categories of the BBS at the moment. 
 
"Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking." So said
H.L. Mencken (whoever he is), which seems appropriate enough, since one of the
debates is all about spybeams. Are they a violation of privacy? Should players
expect privacy in Fed? Would Fed Data Space be a gentler, kinder world is
spybeams were banned? Should there be a beam-proof room? 
 
We should point out that this discussion was initiated by a player who feels
very uncomfortable knowing he can be spied upon at any time. Bella has so far
made no comment about whether she plans to act on any decisions that may be
taken by the players! Still, it is an interesting debate, worth reading, and if
you have views on the subject, go and contribute. 
 
The other debate started when a new Trader asked why Traders can't have some
way of checking prices without standing in an exchange and waiting for the
price to roll around. This is a request that gets made regularly every couple
of months by Traders. But this time, it sparked quite a vehement reply from
Rich People! We won't attempt to summarise the arguments here, but they range
from "Getting to Trader is too easy", "Getting to Merchant is too easy",
"Getting to Trader is too difficult", "Getting to Merchant is too difficult",
"Everything is much easier now than it was when I were a lad (or lass)" - and
so on. 
 
 
 **>> IN THE LIBRARY 
 
Bella has uploaded a new Who's Who file in the Library, detailing all the
active personas in Fed - their name, rank, shipname, company and planet. The
file is number 831, and it replaces 689. 
 
The Federation News Archives are now up to date (well, up to date to two weeks
ago, anyway). Library 18 now holds news numbers 1 to 66. That's a lot of
newsprint! 
 
 
 **>> IT'S PRIZE TIME! 
 
Good old Oddball, more money than sense this boy - he's giving away megagroats.
What he's doing is logging into Fed Data Space frequently, and every time he
does he will give a meg to everyone he finds on his planet, Inversity. Why?
Well, that's just the generous kind of guy he is. He's doing this today only
(Sunday), so hurry, hurry, hurry to Inversity, Inversity, Inversity! 
 
 
 **>> HUNKS AND SEXPOTS 
 
Hazed was having a little cosy chat with a couple of friends, girls' talk, you
know the kind of thing, and the talk got around to who are the sexiest people
in Fed? Well, we all know that Hazed herself is the sexiest being ever to have
existing, but she's a demi-goddess so doesn't count. 
 
Anyway, Hazed decided to find out. So she's running a survey. She wants you to
tell her who you think is the sexiest man, and the sexiest woman, in Fed. So
mail your answers to Hazed (FEDII.2, or use the Federation Feedback option on
the main menu) and when she thinks she's got enough for a proper statistical
survey, she'll announce the winners. 
 
This idea, apparently, was sparked by the following comment from one of Hazed's
friends: "It's just that the real men are so few and far between... we have to
amuse ourselves with the toyboys when they're not around". 
 
 
 **>> THE MASTER PUZZLE SOLVER 
 
This message was received from Sheffield, the owner of Quartus: 
 
Congratulations to Spiff for solving the Quartus puzzle.  This very lucrative
puzzle earned him a bonus of 5,000,000 IG as well as the normal reward of over
600,000 IG (at his rank). 
 
We've also hear Spiff's solved all of the puzzles of Haven (Russ's planet).
He's obviously trying to outdo Ringo, Fed's previous Master Puzzle Solver! 
 
 
 **>> PARTY ON DOWN - Special report from Kyle 
 
Well, well, well! There was quite a party down at CD, SC of the SS, very late
Sunday night to early Monday morn. I (Kyle), Camber, and Deety, forsaking the
sanctity of the Sabbath had a good time. There were a few others who dropped in
hoping to catch Deety dropping a scarf or two.  Among those who dropped in were
my pal, Baysidian, Fear, Spiff, and others who I can't remember sadly, sorry.
Freya and Cq dropped in, too, and all were happy to see them. (My, but doesn't
my writing bear the strangest syntax!) 
 
Kyle drove his Harley all around the bar several times, slipped Deety a couple
of groats but hoped to slip her more (no shame). Then Camber and he did a
stirring blues performance of "Crossroads".  Kyle on acoustic guitar and
vocals, with Camber on piano. 
 
Kyle and Camber also vied for the attentions of Deety. Kyle as the stout, but
kind-hearted biker/entertainer.  And Camber as the debonair clown ....err.....
gentleman. 
 
That night Slew also dragged in the head of Tal it seems, shortly after he
trounced Monty on the spaceways and came to CD's to scatter the remains. 
 
 
 **>> FROM THE PEN OF DEEP THROAT... 
 
Presented for your inspection. A man, Paladin. A woman, Krell. A scorned lover,
Oddball. You are about to enter, The Fed Zone. <grin> 
 
Rumor has it that Krell has been seeing Paladin being Odd's back. Odd is not
entirely in the dark about this. It is rumored that he has taken more than his
fair share of potshots at Paladin. In fact, it is further rumored that Odd
secretly egged another explorer (who shall go nameless) to confront Paladin. 
 
                                   * * * 
 
Maxis and Spiff may have been having a secret relationship. Maxis was just
using Spiff...not only for Spiff's body but also for his knowledge of the GM
puzzle. A picture of the two is allegedly floating around in the Fed
underground. 
 
                                   * * * 
 
Zippo and Freya, well... I'm somewhat sworn to secrecy on this one. I
accidentally swept my beam on Zippo at an inopportune time. They were up in the
mare's nest, and I don't think they were showing each other their stamp
collection. 
 
                                   * * * 
 
Last Monday marked the opening of Merchant Season. While Krell, Oddball, and
Aackverdi have all been seen in camouflage gear hunting their prey, it is
thought that none has been successful yet. Odd had a kill in sight, but ran out
of fuel, giving his target, Slew, time to flee. Krell seems to use the cover of
hunting Monty and Peggy to furtively sneak up on her targets. Aack was
embarrassed recently as he suffered more damage than his lowly target. He's
recently been seen taking pot shots at groundhogs. 
 
                                   * * * 
 
Various sightings have been made of some of Tal's bodyparts. These sightings
have been the catalyst of the formation of a new group.  This group, named the
RCOTO (ReConstruction Of Tal Organization) has started snooping around Fed
dataspace in search of more of the missing body part.  Hansom rewards have been
rumored for the capture and or the safe return of these body parts. 
 
                                   * * * 
 
Deep Throat is requesting a new "screen" be invented by Bella, a "WHINEOFF".
This would be very useful to screen out all the whining and complaining from
various Fedders about the use of spybeams. 
 
 
 **>> WHAT'S WITH THESE TWO, ANYWAY? 
 
As well as the contribution from our usual gossip writer, Deep Throat, we are
proud to present his younger brother, with a special report on the feud that
everyone's talking about. 
 
Have you ever wondered just why Aackverdi and Slew are always trying to blow
each other up? One of our new freelance gossip, scandal, and lies writers has
written an article to tell you why! 
 
"Anyone seen Aackverdi lately," asked the violent looking Slew? "Right behind
you!" replied Aackverdi, as he swooped in behind Slew, firing his twin lasers. 
 
Why are these two always fighting? It's over Trippin! Trippin, a former Fedder
who is missing and presumed dead, apparently led both of them to believe that
they were her one true love. [Editor's Note: Considering that Aackverdi came to
Fed AFTER Trippin died, we really wonder how this could have happened.] 
 
Once Aackverdi found out about this, he told Slew, and then started the feud
that would continue to this day.  Why so much commotion over a dead Fedder? We
believe that the feelings (or equivelents) of betrayal felt by Aackverdi and
Slew have driven them insane, and that they now believe that the SECOND person
to arrive into Trippin's afterlife (or equivelent) will be the one she will
spend her afterlife with. 
 
Can you see the logic in this?  I sure can't... 
 
[Editor's note: Neither can we!] 
 
Until next week, this has been your new freelance Gossip, Scandal and Lies 
contributor, Shallow Throat! 
 
 
 **>> A LITTLE MOUSE TOLD US... 
 
We're certainly knee-deep in anonymous correspondents at the moment. Oh well,
it saves us having to pay for our news! This piece is written by one who wishes
to be known as "Anoni Mouse". 
 
I was walking along the surface of Venus, like any other space mouse might,
when I saw a lump of sugar. It didn't look as good as my last meal of an old
sandwich, but that had been on Titan almost a week ago. As I went for the
sugar, this lady picked it up. 
 
I was about to jump out of the shadows to scare her like any other girl. But
then I saw the dead marsrat hanging from her neck. There was no way this mouse
was going to mess with this dame! 
 
So I followed her back to her ship, hoping she'd accidentally drop the cube. I
noticed the name "Voodoo" as I entered the ship. We flew through space pretty
smartly. For a dame, she was a good pilot. Landed on earth. She hopped out of
her ship and gave the sugar to a hip-looking dude with dark sunglasses. I
figured I'd hang around him. The unnamed lady called him "See Cue" or something
similar. 
 
That was when Monty the pirate appeared. Or, I thought he appeared. He was tall
and rather mean looking. Had an eyepatch incrusted with old blood. To be quite
blunt, he also smelled. And you have to smell pretty bad to be offensive to a
rodent! 
 
I wasn't even tempted to follow him after he took the sugar from See Cue. He
said something about making space a safer place, but I really doubt that. Not
too long after he took off, I heard the whinnying of a horse, followed by
shrieks of pain. As it was approaching night, I could see some flashes of light
between mercury and venus. 
 
Next thing I knew, See Cue was heading into his ship, so I followed. Luckily,
he didn't see me boarding. Somehow, we managed to make earth orbit. How we did
so still escapes me. Soon, we were flying around the known (and maybe even
unknown) solar system. It was just my luck to be flying with the BRAVEST
captain alive. Or the stupidest. We narrowly missed thousands of asteroids.
And even a few other ships. I caught a brief glimpse of the Worlord. But then I
noticed it was just a picture on the back of a milk carton. That was when I
first saw the cane. 
 
Mygawd! A blind man was piloting my ship! Luckily, mice don't wear underwear.
The radio started cracking. 
 
"Monty at titan! Monty at titan!" Aackverdi transmitted. 
 
"One space east of mars!" Krell shouted. 
 
See Cue was also talking on what appeared to be a cellular space phone. I
tapped into the line and heard the voice of Russ. "Just ready your missiles and
start firing when he enters the sector. Any time now." 
 
My stomach started to sink. A black, sinister ship filled the viewscreen. And
my captain couldn't even see it! But, man! Was his control panel decked out
with gadgets! Soon after we were in this ship's shadow, a synthesized voice
sounded the alarm and repeated "A black, sinister ship has entered the sector,
Sir." 
 
The ship rocked tremendously under a blast from Monty. See Cue ran his fingers
down the launch buttons, activating a barrage of twin lasers and multiple
nuclear-tipped missiles. With a flash of orange, the black ship vanished. This
cool dude even ejected a wreath in memory of the wretched pirate. Some people
are just too nice! 
 
As soon as we landed on mars for the celebration party, I started kissing the
ground. I was still alive! A bit shook up, but alive nonetheless. I'm not as
dumb as the one known as Slew, though. This mouse has yet to leave the Martian
landscape since. Ain't nobody getting me out of the corner of CDs. Space is
just not the place for this rodent. 
 
 
 **>> SORDID! 
 
We're definitely in favour of keeping spybeams - without them, how would we
manage to get hold of such amazingly shocking scandal to report to you, our
avid readers? Relying on anonymous reporters is all very well, but you just
can't beat a bit of good old snooping by our investigative reporters for
ferretting out the real dirt! 
 
This particular dirt concerns... well, we'd better withhold his name, so lets
call him Mr. X. 
 
Seems he got himself into quite a situation the other night - voluntarily, of
course - involving two of the most powerful women around here, and a feisty
little whip-wielding Adventureuse. Mr. X apparently has a thing for powerful
women, and he got into some rather compromising positions... starting with on
his knees and going downhill from there! 
 
Good taste and the public decency laws means we shall draw a veil over the rest
of the sordid activities that took place. However, the goings-on attracted
quite a crowd of men, begging to join in! Among them were many of the rich and
famous, Explorers and Squires - even one Conclave member! 
 
The two "ladies" (and we use the term loosely) in question have now decided to
go into business together in an attempt to dislodge Diesel from her position as
prime purveyor of executive services. They have attempted to place ads for
staff with this news bulletin, but were turned down because we have no wish to
offend our readers. The ads contained such lines as "Girls - earn mega-groats
from the comfort of your own bed" - and that was the cleaner parts! 
 
 
 **>> CANCELLED! 
 
We were going to close this week's news with a sizzling expose of the secret
life of Galauriel, but she paid us a vast amount of money, with the promise or
further bribes - erm - gifts - if we ensure her name stays out of the news.
We're not stupid, so we've taken the money and pulled the story! 
 
 
 **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS 
 
We've had quite a lot of promotions reported to us this week. Starting at the
bottom, there's three new Adventurers - Swede, Camber and Marlowe. Well done,
boys. 
 
Silversteel and Richard are now Traders, and Richard would like to thank his
parents, Occy, Krell, Krell, Aackverdi and Zippo. Yes, he really did mention
Krell twice! Obviously she was very helpful indeed. 
 
Vanjerin made JP, thanks to Russ who helped with advice and hints, and Camber
and Kosgo who did obscure things deep in the Martian Ruins. Cq also made JP,
just in time today to get a mention in the news. 
 
Maxis is the first person for a long time to solve the GM puzzle entirely on
his own, without whingeing and pestering Rich People for help. He'd like to
thank a whole load of people for a whole load of things, including Oddball,
Freya, Krell, Elex, Spiff and Aackverdi. 
 
 
 **>>CONTACTS 
 
The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so 
you don't have to read it if you already know it. 
 
In the event of a problem or question, you can: 
 
 * talk to Hazed, Bella or Clem in the game 
 
 * leave a <TYPO> message in the game log 
 
 * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu 
 
You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to 
Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. 
 
Federation has several category in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type
M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information,
instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions).
The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Occy (Mail ID: OCPAC). 
 
The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5.
Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. 
 
 **>> BULLETIN ENDS