**>> SPYNET BULLETIN 
 **>> EARTHDATE 91.12.15 
 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE 
 
 
 **>> CHANGES TO PLANETS 
 
Since the implementation of the <PROMOTE> command last week, several of the
player-owned planets have been upgraded. Zippy (owned by Occy) is now a mining
planet, as is Rezrov's Megalusa. Phoenix, governed by Piemur switched to an
industrial economy and then moved straight to technical, and Russ's Haven also
become an industrial world. 
 
As the agricultural planets are upgraded to mining, and covert to mini-planets,
there will be more room for new planets to be added. Baysidian's world is now
in place. It's called - logically enough - Bayside. 
 
Factory owners were singing and dancing with joy this week as they were finally
able to access their factories on Jinx. Oxcart's world has been absent for
several months (he was not around to run it) but has now returned and should
stay available. 
 
 
 **>> HIDE FROM PRYING EYES 
 
You asked for it, now you've got it. You have to find it, of course... We speak
of none other than the spybeam proof room! The Galactic Administration has
installed shielding equipment in one of the locations in Sol space, but have
refused to tell anyone where it is - on the grounds that if they need it badly
enough, they will take the time to find it! 
 
The equipment will prevent beams from being focussed on anyone already in the
location. Will it be used? We'll have to wait and see. 
 
 
 **>> A DIFFICULT DILEMMA 
 
Planet owners will be pleased to know that their treasuries now get the money
that is paid for insurance on their worlds. It does present them with something
of a quandry, though... if they die off their own planet, do they get insured
wherever they happen to be and pay for it... or do they try to get back to
their own world without mishap so they can be insured for free? 
 
 
 >>** SPOTLIGHT ON GOTHAM 
 
Krell's a nice person. She's cultured, civilised, fond of her comforts... so we
really cannot imagine why she has taken over management of an interstellar
garbage dump! On the face of it, Gotham is not fit for human habitation, but we
figured it must have some hidden virtues. We asked Krell to give us a guided
tour, and she agreed - provided we did not just send a news droid! No, she
insisted that Hazed, herself, in person would have to be dragged round Gotham.
This is Hazed's report. 
 
I've visited many planets, being a well-travelled sort of girl, and I know a
thing or two about writing tourist guides. But I fail to see how I can disguise
the unsavoury aspects of Gotham in an effort to attract sight-seers! It really
is a very strange world. 
 
One begins to realise that all is not as it should be as soon as one arrives at
the Gotham Interstellar Link. The Alcohol's sensors indicated that we hadn't
actually left Sol Space - although it was obvious we had! And in orbit around
the world called Gotham, one experiences a real sense of deja vu since it
appears almost identical to the planet Earth - except for a strange smog
covering much of the landmasses. The neighbouring space regions house some very
strange equipment that look much too dangerous to be left unattended! 
 
I was "lucky" enough to encounter the elusive Mirage while cruising through
Gotham space. This ship deploys a unique cloaking device that makes it almost
impossible to trace. We quizzed Krell on the secrets of the Mirage, but she was
un-forthcoming. 
 
Ships are not allowed to land on the planet itself. I docked the Alcohol at the
docking station and walked out to meet Krell, the Governor of the planet. She
told me that a shuttle was waiting to take me to the planet itself, and led me
to it. Much to my surprise - and shock - I had to take a short space walk to
the shuttle! It had not docked correctly with the station. This did not bode
well. 
 
The first part of the planet itself that I saw was the Airfield, and it was
instantly obvious why I couldn't land the Alcohol there. The Airfield has
obviously not been used or maintained for centuries! I do hope that, as the new
Governor, Krell will be renovating such vital parts of the planet. 
 
North of the Airfield is the nearest bar, and I needed a stiff drink to fortify
me for what I knew was going to be a gruelling tour. Lindy's Bar is run by a
colourful character who claims to be related to a famous aviator. His
aberration is typical of the strange behaviour of the few remaining inhabitants
of Gotham - possibly the smog and pollution has a deleterious affect on the
mind! 
 
It was here that Krell explained some of the mysteries behind Gotham. She told
me that the wierd machines in space were time and space warping devices, and
that we were actually in an alternate universe! Other such devices can be found
on the surface of the planet. Gotham was, in fact, Earth... but in a universe
where the Galactic Administration had never come to power, and had never
created Fed Data Space. An Earth polluted and all but lifeless. 
 
While drinking in Lindy's I encountered my first native of the planet - the
Preacher. At least, I though he was a native, but he turned out to be a refugee
from Piemur's planet, presumably trapped by the space warp. I ignored his
ranting and he eventually left. 
 
The whole of Gotham is a derelict museum of decay, but among the dross there
are the occasional gems. Lindy's Bar contains the only microwave oven left in
the universe! This was a device popular during the 20th century, used to dry
household pets when they got damp. 
 
We finished our drinks (reluctantly, in my case) and Krell led me to an area
west of the airfield, laughingly known as the town Centre, a small island of
dry land in a noxious swamp. The Exchange lies to the north, offering all the
usual facilities, albeit in a somewhat primitive fashion. 
 
South of the Town Centre lies the Street Market, the only part of Gotham where
the inhabitants show any sign of animation. Clothes, electronic equipment, and
torches are among the goods on sale here. Thankfully there was no food on sale:
if there had been, it would surely have been contaminated with all kinds of
nasty germs! Krell speculated that the spybeams on sale were stolen from
Inversity. If that were so, it would be poetic justice! 
 
A road leads out of the market, through the swamp, and passes the medical
facilities - basic but functional. The swamp itself is truly disgusting. I know
this because Krell pushed me into it! Her idea of a joke, apparently. I wasn't
amused since my boot sprung a leak. Giggling madly, she pulled me out and led
me on down the road, past the insurance office, to the City Gate. 
 
Krell told me that everything outside the City itself was completely safe, but
once inside anything could happen. I believed her! She later qualified that
statement by saying that if I stayed on the road I'd probably be alright. 
 
Taking a deep breath (a big mistake as the swamp smelt like rotten eggs) I
marched through the City Gate and found myself surrounding my trash! Ruined
buildings, abandoned and rusted cars, just general rubbish... I suggested to
Krell that she hire a reputable squad of cleaning droids but she just laughed. 
 
The whole City was like this. No part that I visited was clean or sanitary, and
many areas were downright dangerous! Among the delights awaiting the unwary is
an area of extreme toxic pollution (even worse than that present on the rest of
the planet), inhabited by a strange mutant cross between a rat and a human. Is
this what has inherited the earth? A depressing thought! 
 
Our next port of call was an amusement park, although I didn't find it all that
amusing! The tunnel of love was through bat-infested caves, the funhouse was
about as fun as toothache, and I fell off the top of the big wheel! 
 
At this point I desparately needed another drink, so Krell took me to the
Eldorado Lounge, the only location on the planet in which I actually felt
comfortable! The feeling didn't last, though, because Krell dragged me off into
the street again - and I fell down a sewer! 
 
That I lived to tell the tale is no thanks to Krell, who seemed to find the
whole episode highly amusing. I crawled out of the sewer as soon as I found an
exit, and found myself in the Slums - which I was amazed to see where actually
more rundown and disgusting than the rest of the planet! She showed me round
one of the apartment buildings, and I could not imagine how anyone could live
in such conditions.  
 
After this distressing visit, I was taken to the so-called "nice" area of town,
although by any usual standards it would have been considered a right dump. An
art museum and an overgrown park at least gave a little relief from the horrors
of rusted automobiles! We also visited the zoo, but just barely escaped with
our lives when Krell dragged me inside the cages where some dangerous beast
lived! The woman is a maniac! 
 
After I had recovered from this shock, on top of all the other shocks of the
day, Krell took me to our next destination: the subway system. Of course, it
didn't work, and of course, it was dangerous, but I eventually found my way out
just about intact! 
 
My visit to Gotham culminated on the roof of the tallest building in the city.
And here I caught my first glimpse of beauty on this misbegotten planet, as the
appalling pollution cause the most spectacular sunset I have ever seen! It
seemed ironic that the cause of so much misery and suffering on the planet also
produced the only thing that could possibly attract visitors - apart from those
wishing to take advantage of the rundown nature of the planet and trade, and
those out to make a fortune by exploring the ruins and uncovering the mysteries
of the planet! 
 
I don't think I have ever been so glad to step back into the Alcohol as I was
after this distressing experience. Apparently there can be some very high
rewards for those who solve the puzzles, but all I can say is - if you must go
to Gotham, wear old clothes! 
 
 
 
 
 **>> THE RETURN OF... 
 
Oxcart has returned to Fed Data Space, and was greeted rapturously by his many
friends, as well as all those who owned property on his world. Apparently he
suffered an injury while tangling with a time warp... the pelvic thrust caused
him to slip a disk! Meanwhile, we've been hearing rumours that the reason he
was romantically linked with such "creatures" as Bessy and Candy is due to an
unfortunate accident in a space battle that turned him into a steer! 
 
We also received the following press release: 
 
     This is to formally announce the arrival of Blackmark  
     the infamous Merchant returning from Groundhog status  
     to Trader...soon to be Emperor! 
 
     That is all.... 
 
Anyone who reads through the back issues of this news bulletin will recall
several stories about Blackmark around a year ago. We can promise his return
will liven up Fed Data Space! 
 
 
**>> FROM THE PEN OF DEEP THROAT 
 
Warning... it has come to our attention that someone is distributing "mood
altering devices" on Oddball's planet.  Although it cannot be confirmed that it
is indeed Oddball behind this sinister plot to ruin other Federation personas
characters, he is a prime suspect. 
 
Official action cannot be taken yet... since the devices are either already
consumed once someone is searched or have been quickly discarded in the loo on
Earth. 
 
Our reports begin with the unexplainable, confusing behavior of several Fed
personas in recent weeks.  One such report is as follows and to protect his
vermin like behavior we cannot divulge his name... 
 
Late Friday evening a certain individual was seen provoking Freya, an innocent
(hah!) and fun loving (as MANY people already know) player. Numerous
individuals monitored his communications with spybeams and witnessed his
computerized targeting system being locked onto Freya... for no apparent
reason. He then flew with the skill and composure of a Bull Dog in heat around
the entire Sol space system. 
 
Freya was of course not worried in the slightest as she has many loyal
lovers... errr... friends throughout Fed dataspace to take care of her... light
work if you will. 
 
The mad, crazed pilot could not sight Freya's spacecraft in space so he
searched the landing pads, eventually finding her tucked neatly away on Mars
(as if Chez Diesel wasn't the first place to be searched for Freya.) 
 
He barged into the almost-empty bar (it was rather late) to find Freya with
another Fed persona (who will remain unnamed to protect his normally corrupt
reputation) and witnessed Freya wiping sweat off her forehead. This was not all
the wiping she would have to do that evening since the antagonist eventually
pulled down his leather pants and relieved himself on her. 
 
Shortly thereafter the "mood altering devices" wore off, returning this
individual to his normal gentlemanly disposition. 
 
This report has been filed for two reason. One is obvious: please avoid the wet
stains at Chez Diesel until the Fed cleaning crews are able to get around to
them, and the second to remind everyone... "Just say NO to drugs", especially
those found on Oddballs planet. 
 
                                   * * * 
 
The following installment of rumors and slime has been contributed by:  
Robert A. Flopmeyer 
Executive Assistant to Sir Aackverdi at the time of his disappearance 
 
Is space really safe again? 
 
Intelligence agents have been aware that Aackverdi has been secretly building
an explosive space-droid equipped with a 20-laser gun and a Europian bomb.
While his plan in whole is not known, it was guessed that he intended to blow
the space link apart, preventing his fellow Fedders from going between outer
planets and the solar system. Counting on all the powerful players to be
mingling in outer space, he was then going to systematically eliminate all
competition from the inner planets. When he was done, he would be Emperor of
the solar system, at which time he would be powerful enough to re-open the link
and start colonizing the player planets. 
 
Only one small problem has seemingly guaranteed the safety of all other
players. In a freak shooting accident, Peggy destroyed his droid, also setting
off the Eu chain reaction bomb. While it is possible that Aackverdi survived
such an explosion, his survival cannot be confirmed. He is presumed dead and is
officially listed as MIA. 
 
Players are advised to travel in pairs between Titan and the Space Link, as a
few have disappeared from that region. We have no reason to believe that these
isolated incidents are anything more than mechanical failure, however. This was
the area, though, where Aackverdi is thought to be hiding out if he did,
indeed, survive the apocalypse. 
 
That's all the slime I can dish out now... until next report... be good, or be
very, very bad. 
 
 
 **>> NOTEWORTHY NEWS (or Things They're Afraid You'll Find Out About) 
 
Brought to you courtesy of News Droid #4, which while sometimes being wildly
inaccurate, at least manages to make it sound convincing. 
 
It seems that Commander Bart, coming into our midst late in the week, was quite
persistent in begging people for jobs, money, help, etc. I'm sure you all know
the type by now. There seems to be an unending stream of them. Most simply
ignored him, but Merchant Camber had less patience than most and having just
armed himself for his upcoming battle with the dreaded pirate Monty was keen to
test his new weapons on the unfortunate Bart. Camber proved to be a quick study
in the art of combat and soon Bart's ship was reduced to dust along with Bart.
We understand that Bart is quite a sociable fellow now and has apparently
gotten the hint. Especially after a second pounding at Oddball's hands over an 
unknown, but possibly related incident. 
 
Freya caught the gambling bug again and was witnessed in Chez Diesel (Social
Center of the Solar System) betting both her heart and virtue on that slightly
unbalanced wheel. She lost. No word yet on who the lucky man is. 
 
Turning the camera back to Camber (busy fellow, eh?), he eventually did defeat
the pirate and in his first attempt at the JP puzzle managed to reduce the
Martian ruins into a large smoking crater. There was quite a lot of confusion
about just what caused the mishap. The eventual conclusion was that one of
Camber's helpers did something wrong, but this reporter has obtained solid
evidence from an anonymous source that the failure was caused by two lovebirds
hiding out in the maze in an attempt to gain some measure of privacy. A better
argument for clearing the ruins beforehand cannot be found. We can assume that
no one thought to look at the Spynet Report to see who died at the same
instant. 
 
 
 **>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU 
 
The singing was loud and raucous as Freya celebrated her birthday last week. We
tried to find out how old she was, but she refused to tell us - obviously
afraid of frightening off her many admirers! 
 
 
 **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS 
 
Following the upgrading of several of the player planets, Occy and Rezrov are
now Thanes, and Piemur and Russ are Technicians. Baysidian has become Squire of
Bayside. 
 
Paladin was promoted to Merchant. So was Camber, but within a week he had
solved the fiendish JP puzzle (after dying many times) and is now a
JourneyPerson. 
 
Bart has been promoted to Adventurer - it only took him 48 hours from the time
he first set foot in Fed Data Space. 
 
Congratulations to everyone who was promoted in the last week. Remember, if you
notify us of your advancements, we'll mention you in the news. 
 
 
 **>>CONTACTS 
 
The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so 
you don't have to read it if you already know it. 
 
In the event of a problem or question, you can: 
 
 * talk to Hazed, Bella or Clem in the game 
 
 * leave a <TYPO> message in the game log 
 
 * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu 
 
You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to 
Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. 
 
Federation has several category in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type
M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information,
instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions).
The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Occy (Mail ID: OCPAC). 
 
The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5.
Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. 
 
 **>> BULLETIN ENDS