**>> SPYNET BULLETIN 
 **>> EARTHDATE 92.03.08 
 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE 
 
 
 **>> WHAT'S NEW? 
 
There's a lot been going on behind the scenes as Bella puts in the foundation
for the next big puzzle. This is going to be the quest Barons will have to
complete before they are promoted to Duke (or Duchesse). The puzzle should be
complete and in place in around three weeks. 
 
We have been trying desparately to infiltrate one of our newsdroids into Our
Illustrious Leader's offices but so far we have lost seven valuable spies...
erm... newsdroids that way and we can't afford to lose any more! 
 
We tried getting Bella drunk then asking her to tell us about the puzzle, but
all she would say was "the signs are starting to appear. Things are not as they
were." She then fell asleep in a puzzle of Old Snarcot's Rigellian Green Chili
Vodka! 
 
 
 **>> WHO WILL BE EMPEROR? 
 
When Fed first started, it seemed it would take years for the first person to
earn enough groats to pay off their loan and be promoted to Captain. Now we are
talking about the mechanisms for promotion to Duke, the first of the Senatorial
levels. After Duke comes Privy Councillor, and then Emperor, the final rank in
the game. 
 
In anticipation of this, LordEcstasy has declared himself to be a candidate for
that exalted rank. He expects elections to be held in November, at which time
he is confident that he will be voted in as Emperor of the Galactic
Administration. 
 
Hazed, we understand, has other ideas... 
 
 
 **>> PRESS RELEASES 
 
We have received the following two releases from planet owners, whose worlds
have been promoted to mining and which therefore will be going mini shortly. 
 
Message From: The exalted Thane of Ocean 
Message to:   Whatever newsdroid happens to get it 
 
Due to circumstances beyond the control of the government of Ocean (that silly
blackhole is eating our sun!) it has become necessary to close the nude beach
and various other areas of Ocean to tourists (and everybody else for that
matter). (You never found the nude beach? Tsk I knew it was there all the time)  
 
The scientists from the Galactic Administration claim that this will only be
temporary. (Some ridiculous nonsense about tapping the energy of the blackhole
and  creating an artificial sun...they tried to explain it to me but since I
didn't understand it I can't possibly explain it to you!) The planet will
remain open for folks to trade at. (You have any idea how much those scientists
want to spend?) As a convenience to those of you that send your trading droids
instead of coming yourself the relative locations of the link, planet, exchange
and food are unchanged. 
 
The scientists have been unable to accurately predict when this event may occur
so if you wish to experience the planet's various attactions in their present
form you better do it quick! The scientists have also been unable to accurately
predict when they might be able to complete the artificial sun project so we
really have no idea when the more fun areas of the planet may reopen. (We
currently have their familys held hostage and have threatened to start sending
back various bits and pieces to them at regular intervals until they get it
done... but some lawyer droid or another claims we can't do that without the
Emperor's permission, and since we don't have an Emperor yet we have a bit of a
problem. We have considered scrapping the lawyer droid.) 
 
     Niun 
 
 
Message From: The Thane of Polaris 
Message to:   Federation News Bulletin 
 
It is with great sorrow and a feeling of real dismay, that I must close all
outlying areas of Polaris. 
 
After a long and difficult debate and conferances with the Galactic
Administration, I find that the talks have broken down and I can no longer
allow the use of Polaris to the outside world. 
 
Thoughts of my new friends and companions since the opening of Polaris are
deep, I must take this step of responsibility to the ones who live here on
Polaris. 
 
Should the Galatic Administration decide to come to the Table once more and
reopen the talks for continued Peace and Harmony between us I will reopen
Polaris to those who are my long and deep friends... as well as the masses of
the Galactic Ruled Universe. 
 
     POLAR THE GREAT 
 
 
 **>> ANYONE FOR GOLF? 
 
Riccardo's planet is now in, and it is a golfing world called Links. Sounds
ideal for a vacation! Unfortunately, space seems a little warped on the planet;
the movement tables, although not as bad as Zippy's, were strange and many
people found themselves trapped in locations they could not leave. If anyone
had to suicide or sell their ship to get off Links, they should insist that
Riccardo reimburses them. 
 
 
 **>> NOT A BUG OR A FEATURE 
 
Hazed has lost her ship and is forced to use taxis on those (very few)
occasions when she hauls her carcass out of Chez Diesel. We wondered why she
was ship-less and sent a newsdroid to find out. 
 
It appears that the computer on her ship was hit by the Michelangelo virus,
which painted the outside of her ship to resemble the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel! She was forced to abandon the ship when the computer attempted to turn
her into a statue. 
 
 
 **>> FROM THE THROAT OF POISON PEN 
 
We shall open with the strange tale of Dobie [aka "That Little Creep"]... 
 
Dobie, a seemingly harmless but somewhat obnoxious young man [or equivalent, as
we shall see], appeared on the scene a rather short time ago, and proceeded to
whiz his way up through the ranks, claiming that Rezrov had given him the
solutions to all the puzzles along the way.  Rumours began to circulate to the
effect that perhaps this was not the case, that perhaps Dobie was actually
[gasp!] a reincarnation of a former high-ranking player, come back to haunt Fed
Dataspace once more.  But WHO?????  
 
Well... the general opinion being whispered in secret rooms around the galaxy
was that Dobie was, indeed, the recently deceased Oxcart, who had made use of
his personal cloning device after his shocking double suicide last month and
returned to life under an assumed name.  But apparently, that's not what Dobie
himself had to say.  Just after he became an Explorer, Dobie announced his
secret to all of Fed, admitting that he truly had been a Rich Person in a past
life... and proceeded to inform us all that he had been, not Oxcart, but
Taliana [later known as "Tal"]!  Yes, the same Taliana who was rumoured to have
been brutally murdered and her body disposed of in various locations some time
ago.   
 
Now, if THAT doesn't raise a whole slew of questions, we don't know what does.
Speaking of Slew... Did Slew finally manage to gather up all of poor Tal's bits
and pieces and reassemble them into what became Dobie? Almost too shocking to
believe, isn't it? Yeah, well, that's what we think, too.  
 
To complicate the matter further, Dobie seems to have transformed himself
recently into Oxcart... or at least into someone named Oxcart. Is the new
Oxcart really Tal? Did Oxcart use his personal cloning device, not on himself,
but on Tal, allowing her to assume his identity?  And if so, why??? And is this
getting too confusing for all of you here? It's certainly confusing our staff
of sleazy informants, that's for sure - sometimes it's impossible to get
anything approaching a coherent rumour out of them lately. 
 
And what of the Conspiracy rumoured to be responsible for the death of Tal, as
possibly for the later disappearance of Deep Throat?  Who are they, and do they
have anything to do with this?  Perhaps there is a clue to be found in
Dobie/Taliana/Tal/Oxcart/Or Equivalent's annoucement that he/she/it was
organizing a movement to overthrow the 'Oppressors' - whoever THEY may be - and
trying to recruit others to help out with his/her/its cause...  
 
Who are these 'Oppressors'? Are they those who disposed of Tal, or are they
something else altogether?  And what of Oxcart?  Is he a leader of this
revoltionary but terribly vague movement, or is he in league with the
'Oppressors' themselves?  The mind boggles at the possibilities.  We have heard
many possible explanations for all of this, but the one we like best is that
Oxcart was involved in the conspiracy to eliminate Tal all along, and
reincarnated her in the form of Dobie using his personal cloning device, in
order to use her as a pawn in their murderous political games by forcing her to
take his name and do the bidding of the Oppressors as the puppet ruler of Jinx.
Now, admittedly this is not the most likely scenario, but it's certainly the
one we like, due to its exciting combination of politics, deception, intrigue,
and white slavery.  
 
Will these strange questions ever be answered?  Will the questions we thought
of, but decided not to ask here because we might be sued, ever be answered?
Only time will tell...   
 
And of course, Hazed will pay generously for any information [facts or
equivalent] relevant to the case.  Or so she says - you'll have to take any
disputes up with her, we try to stay out of that.  
 
Well, as this reporter is thoroughly exhausted from all this conspiratorial
speculation, we have decided to skip all the juicy sex scandals that developed
this week.  Even the one where Dobie decided he had always wanted to be a Guild
Maitreuse, had a few alterations made, showed up in Chez Diesel wearing nary a
stitch of clothing and began carrying on with Rezrov, Krell, and a marsrat.
Hope you don't mind.   
 
On a final note, having not recieved any further nominations for the Zippy
Memorial Creative Spelling Award, we shall award this week, in its place, the
Zippy Memorial Creative Mapping Award, which goes to Riccardo for his very
interesting town area on Links.  At least it's not dangerous.     
 
 
 **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS 
 
Lotus solved the fiendish JP puzzle last Sunday, just too late for his
promotion to be included in the news. Bad timing! 
 
Mirth has also become a JP. 
 
Niun and Polar have both become inThane, and their planets promoted to Mining. 
 
Dopie became a GM, and then disappeared without a trace. Coincidentally, the
late great Oxcart returned and became an Explorer at about the same time. (See
Poison Pen's article above.) 
 
Darknight made it to Merchant and Daphne to Trader. Well done, both of you. 
 
 
 **>>CONTACTS 
 
The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you 
don't have to read it if you already know it. 
 
In the event of a problem or question, you can: 
 
 * talk to Hazed, Bella or Clem in the game 
 
 * leave a <TYPO> message in the game log 
 
 * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu 
 
You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by 
typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. 
 
Federation has several category in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type 
M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, 
instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). 
The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). 
There are also categories for Explorers and for the Conclave; these are run by
Occy (Mail ID: OCPAC) and Oddball (Mail ID: D.STALZLE) respectively. 
 
The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. 
Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. 
 
 **>> BULLETIN ENDS