**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 92.04.05 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> IMPERIAL DECREE NO. 45187:37/a We've received a very official-looking memorandum from the Galactic Administration, which they are insisting we print in this issue of the Fed News Bulletin. What is more, they quite firmly suggest (and when the GA makes a firm suggestion, it doesn't pay to ignore it) that the memo is not dumped at the end with the small print. In fact, they want it given room on the front page. The lead story. Much as we like to fly in the face of authority, to cock a snook at those in power, we are well aware that you can't fight city hall. Besides, we have no wish to endure yet another visit from the fascist bully-boy death-squads of the Galactic Administration's Department of Correction! So, here is the memorandum: --------------------------------------------------------------- | | | Message to all Squires and future Squires. | | | | | | Please ensure that when your planet is getting close to | | | promotion to Mining, you contact Bella and ask for your | | | workbench files to be cleared. Once the files are cleared | | | you must prepare a mini-planet, so it is ready to go in as | | | soon as you are promoted to Thane. | | | | | | If you take longer than about three days after promotion to | | | get your mini-planet ready, you run the risk of your planet | | | being swapped out if there are other planets waiting to go | | | in. | | | | | | Message ends. | | | | | --------------------------------------------------------------- | --------------------------------------------------------------- **>> TO TYPO OR TO SEND... There are now many ways to leave messages for the Federation team. You can leave a , use GEnie mail, a message, upload in the BBS... so here's a quick explanation about when you should use which method. Use to contact Bella immediately if you think you've found a bug in the game. She will see your message the next time she logs onto the game, so it's the fastest way to alert her to problems. If necessary, follow this up with GEnie mail providing a full explanation. Use the command to report typing errors or minor problems that you come across. If you have a question about how the game works, you can also leave a . The typo file is read regularly, and every so often answers to some of the questions asked appear in the weekly news. Questions will also be answered if you upload a message in the Fed BBS, although there you will usually get answers from other players. If you have a suggestion for a change or an enhancement to the game, upload it in the Fed BBS - there is a topic called "Suggestion Box". That gives everyone else the opportunity to comment on your suggestion - they might come up with an even better idea based on your original thought. Bella does read the suggestions made in this topic, and she acts on them if she thinks they will enhance the game. Finally, if you have any news or gossip which you would like to appear in the weekly Fed news, use the command to leave a message for Hazed. Remember that if your story appears in the news, you'll get an enormous sum of groats in payment. **>> ARE FACTORY PRICES INFLATED? There is a debate going on in the BBS at the moment about the price of factories. The cost depends on the level of the planet you build on, and Barons (owners of leisure worlds) are complaining that no-one will shell out the 25 meg necessary to build on their planets. Bella is following this debate with interest. She realises there is a problem, and she is (in her usual vague way) considering doing something about it. Just so you know she's not ignoring you totally!! Another thing she is thinking about, quite hard really, is adding to the requirements for Explorer so they have to do something tricky and complicated with their company. Possibilities are to own a certain number of factories on different level planets... or to show a certain level of profitability... or to... well, she's thinking about it. **>> CONTESTS, PRIZES AND SPECIAL EVENTS I know we've refused to do any kind of report on the Fed UnCon so far, but one thing we must report on is the only "official" part of the weekend. A competition took place during the party on Saturday night, and we thought you might like to know who won. Each of the UnConventioneers took it in turns to log into the game using a mystery account, and loiter in Chez Diesel. The other people in the bar had to guess who they really were. Galauriel kept score (she's very good at scoring, we hear) of who guessed what, and the person who guessed correctly the most times was Oddball. Congrats, Odd, you win 6 hours of free Fed time. Bochiman came second, and he won 4 hours of free time. An additional prize has been awarded to Oxcart, since he was the only person to dress as his persona at the UnCon. Admittedly, he didn't do it at the party, but at breakfast the next day, but he still deserves a prize. Attendees at the UnCon can now honestly say they have seen Oxcart in his raincoat, without any trousers on. And what a sight it was, too! Well done, Ox, you win 5 hours of free Fed time and a small rubber chicken. We'll have more fun and games over Easter, as the Easter Bunny visits Fed. More news next week. Also... GEnie's Hot Summer Nights will be taking place again in August this year, and Fed will have something special lined up for you. Stay tuned to this channel! **>> SLOW AND STEADY WINS THE RACE Two promotions that we were told about recently should win some kind of award... for the slowest advancement ever! Lee started looking for the Grand Master, to confirm his promotion as Trader, during the last free weekend in February. He's found him at last! And Slartibartfast has just been promoted to Merchant... after two years of playing! He says he remembers helping Oddball to make JP. Slarti now dreams of owning his own planet, one with lots a fjords and a nice crinkly coastline (we anticipate he should make Explorer in about 2003!) We think these two should be given a place in the Hall of Fame. **>> FROM THE THROAT OF POISON PEN: SPRING IS IN THE AIR Well, that must be it. We certainly can't think of any other reason for the sudden resurgence in romance these past few weeks... Ahh, "Romance" may not be exactly the word for it. "Lust", perhaps. Or "Rutting". Whatever. You are all educated people and most of you own a thesaurus. Call it what you will. We haven't had any good, juicy gossip in quite some time - even our sleaziest, oiliest reporter-droids have been getting rusty - and now we find that spybeam screens all over the known galaxy have been steaming up regularly these past few weeks... We can only say that we are delighted, not because we get to report all these scandalous tidbits to you, our loyal readers, but because we're finally able to afford that interplanetary holiday in the fleshpots of Haven and the sin-pits of Inversity that we've been looking forward to for so long... [Didn't think you could still visit those places, did you? Well, you can't... because YOU can't afford it! And don't ask how WE can afford it... those are things we simply don't mention, okay?] Speaking of things we don't mention... We won't be mentioning everyone involved in this past month's scandalous activities. In fact, we shall be mentioning very few of those involved, and hardly any details whatsoever of their sordid pastimes! [Thank you, Hazed, for all those helpful hints on how to make a nice profit in the information-gathering business.] Among those who didn't come up with a sufficient brib]D]D]C]C]C]D]D]D Among those whose escapades we feel we absolutely must mention, in the interests of our loyal readers, are Rezrov [Okay, so what else is new?] and Mirth, who seems to be trying to give Fed's legendary lovers a run for their money in the reputation department. Suffice it to say that those two alone have probably been responsible for overloading most everyone's spybeam to the point where it will melt at the slightest touch of laser fire... [And you were all wondering why those spybeams turn to molten slag so easily! Hah! Conscientious citizens who only use their spybeams for nice things like helping newbods never have that problem, for your information!] Silversteel - who, it is rumoured, has been known to import exotic ... er... devices, shall we say, from other Dataspaces - and relative newcomer Bochiman - who, it has been mentioned to us, could be a bit more subtle - have also been busily working on their reputations lately. We suppose that whether this sort of thing involves raising or lowering one's reputation depends on one's point of view. An informal survey, conducted by our very nosiest newsthing, reveals, however, that if these two ever want to compete with the likes of Rezrov, they have a lot to learn. As much as we like to name names, we shall not go so far as to besmirch the reputations of Fed's loveliest females by matching them up with their romantic partners, considering the general level of 'romance' involved here. In the interests of discretion, we have decided to simply provide a list: Morgana, Annabell, Illyra, Occy, Morgana again, Daphne, Jade, Electra, and Morgana. And others whom we shall not mention, for reasons alluded to above. We were going to mention Krell, who reportedly neither accepts bribes nor pays them [Hmmph!], but she threatened our poor reporterthing with such dire consequences that we decided to forget we ever considered it. And on that note, this month's Travel Guide to Fed's latest hot-spots features several little-known - well, formerly little-known - spots for that next romantic rendezvous. What's Out: The Mare's Nest [Yecch!], the Duff Modem Pub, the Mars Hotel, the Penthouse, the Moon Casino, the Mansion bedrooms... all those old love-nests have been done to death, frankly. If that special guy or gal invites you to one of those locales, we suggest that you criticise him or her soundly for his or her appalling lack of imagination and tell him or her to get with it! What's In: The Social Club on Polaris, the Puddy Ward [But only right after you've both snuffed it!], the Saunas on the Moon, the Eldorado, the Venus Shuttle, the Transuranics Lobby [Only for very accurate typists], the Zippy Trade Exchange, Rezrov's Private Office, and Snark. Coming next time [If you're really lucky, maybe even next week]: The Federation UnCon... What H-by-A Didn't Tell You!!! **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS Congratulations to Bart and Sirii, who made Adventurer this week. Nightwalker also made it back to Adventurer, following the tragic dead-deadness of the previous persona Stormblade. We understand it was "death by brother". Cussc and Bonzetti were both promoted to Merchant recently. Well done. A trio of new JPs: Daphne, Annabell and Bochiman. Mirth solved the fiendish GM puzzle, and then went on to become an Explorer. He's about to start work on his planet. **>>CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * leave a message in the game log * a message to Hazed or Bella * send mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. (New edition will be available shortly!) Federation has several category in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). There are also private categories for Explorers and for the Conclave; these are run by Krell and Oddball (Mail ID: D.STALZLE). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS