**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 92.09.13 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> ALL HAIL ODDBALL - FED'S FIRST DUKE! Last Monday (a GEnie holiday because it was Labor Day) Oddball finally, at long last, after months of anguish, solved the devilish Duke puzzle and gained the auspicious title of the first Duke in Fed Data Space. The SpyNet Review declared: 10986: Oddball has saved the galaxy from a Fate worse than Death! 10986: Inversity star is about to go nova... 10986: Oddball has been appointed Ruler of the Dutchy of Inversity. Ohm and Daneel helped Oddball complete his momentous task - and although they didn't have a clue what was going on, they ended up considerably richer! As soon as he returned through the timewarp to Earth, Oddball set about breaking another record - he wanted to be the drunkest person ever, and he very nearly succeeded! During the wild party in the Cantina, Odd declared a grand closing down sale of all remaining stocks on Inversity, which was in the process of going nova and would disappear at the next reset. Our newsdroids were at the party, and had no problems getting Oddball to talk about his experience - in fact, it was hard to shut him up! Here is part of the transcript of Oddball's wild and euphoric ramblings... **>> FROM THE DUTCHY OF ODD I have been asked what it feels like to have completed my quest and be elevated to the royal bloodlines, so I will tell you. I had visited with the Horsellians many times over the past couple of months. We spent many hours painfully tracing and retracing the actions of the Martians. Of course, we knew what they were up to. They meant to destroy Sol and many of it's associated out planets!!!! But why? and when? The answer to the question of when was immaterial - and the answer to the first not clear. When they planned to execute their heinous plot would not matter if the Horsellians and I were ready with our countermoves. Discretion being the better part of valor, the Mayor of Horsell and I decided that time grew short and that the hole in time that grew with each passing day needed to be sealed quickly. Our plan (the specifics are not germane to the story...) included sacrificing Inversity. Evacuation orders were sent to the peaceful people of Inversity and needless to say, action become motion. We did this and that and all of a sudden Inversity went nova; the timewarp had been sealed. As we warped back through time however, a strange incription seemed to shine out through the amorphous wall in front of us. The inscription read, "Bew**e t** D*rk S*d* of *he M**n. The empire sha** be ours at *ny **st." The words were not all clear, but the meaning surely was! Anyway, the return to FED was glorious and a great party ensued. There are 2 adventurers now enriched beyond belief (and thoroughly confused as well). But a nagging thought persists which prevents me from completely enjoying the victory! Were we successful in sealing the hole in time forever? Or will this devious group find another way to open the framework of reality? Are Sol and the player systems safe or do we still need to fear? Only time will tell so to speak. Oddball **>> WHERE'S THE MESSENGER? Last weekend there were a number of bewildered Adventurers bumbling around, wondering why they hadn't been visited by Da Messenger! This is the guy that shows up when you've got the necessary requirements to be promoted to Trader. He tells you that you need to find the Grand Master in order to have your promotion confirmed. Hazed realised something was wrong when three separate people told her they hadn't been visited, even though they obviously had all the right requirements. She got onto Bella, who was immediately able to spot what was going wrong. What Hazed didn't realise is that Bella had changed the code recently (without telling anyone, of course, least of all those jolly nice H-by-A people who are in charge of documentation and are putting the finishing touches to the new version of the Idiot's Guide at this very moment!) and had eliminated the need for a warehouse at this stage of the game. So the requirements were now a networth of 1 meg, and 1800 trader points. When she made the change, Bella reset the requirements as 1,000,000 and 1800. However, she forgot she'd recently changed networth so it was counted in megs, rounded to the nearest whole meg. So what she'd actually put in the code was that the requirement should be... one million million groats! No wonder Da Messenger wasn't showing up! **>> WHOOPS, NO RESET! Bella has asked us to apologise for the lack of a reset yesterday (Saturday). Her local GEnie nodes were playing up, and she was having problems staying online long enough to do anything complicated. **>> KISS AND MAKE UP? Following last week's reports of the feud between Oddball and Tether, Tether made a half-hearted attempt to apologise to Oddball, but wouldn't admit any guilt, nor do any of it publically! However, as part of the victory celebrations for his promotion, Oddball declared a general amnesty and pardoned all his enemies - including Tether. It didn't stick though... Tether continued to bad-mouth Oddball behind his back, and of course word got back to the new Duke, and Oddball recomenced his hostilities. The story gets muddy at this point, and we are still trying to sort out the truth of the many conflicting accounts we have received. It is clear that Tether decided to take Oddball on in open combat (the poor boy obviously had a death wish) and that Oddball killed him many times, with the greatest of ease. But we've been hearing rumours that Tether was being possessed by aliens from Beta Hydrae, or that it wasn't Tether at all but his evil twin, so Oddball should not hold Tether responsible for his actions that night! We have a dedicated team of newsdroids working flat out to untangle this gordian knot of twisted tales, and once we've found out what is going on we will tell you all the grisly details! **>> JILTED! Sadly, the wedding between Mojo and Bart did not take place. Neither bride nor groom (whichever they were) showed up at the church. Which of them called it off - or did they both get cold feet (or equivalent)? **>> A GOOD WAY TO GO! Spongybugman forgot to eat his Wheaties before soliciting Diesel's services. Oh well... I suppose he died with a grin on his face! His last words were "At least I got my dex raised" (and that ain't all...) **>> PARTY ON! A party was held at John's Barber Shop and Grill on Vitro recently. Aside from the usual carousing several high ranked RPs of the female persuasion discussed their opinions of the denizens of Fed of the male persuasion (or equivalent) in candid detail. As the sand ran down in the hour glass the action deteriorated from the sublime to the sordid. Although in the name of good taste we should omit the details, we will say that it ended up with Rezrov chained to the bar. Apparently Illyra tied his hands, Freya produced the chains, Krell chained his ankles, and Freya produced the whipped cream. Sounds like the ladies were having a really fun time. We're told that Rezrov was unconcious for much of the time... but we don't know if the girls found him unconcious and decided to take advantage of him, or if their heavy seduction scene caused him to pass out! Incidentally, it appears that Illyra and Rezrov are something of an "item", but judging by the goings-on that went on Illyra doesn't mind sharing - obviously they have an open relationship. (So open you could drive a spaceship through it!) It has been disclosed that a large cardboard box can be found behind the bar at John's on Vitro filled with various objects and items the guests left behind. The management of Vitro refused to be responsible for social activities held outside of regular working hours. On the subject of parties, Marcia and Mourningstar will be holding a joint party on September 26. No idea of the time or venue, but if someone tells us we'll put it in next week's news. **>> HOT GOSSIP! The Fed categories of the MPGames BBS are steaming at the moment, with revelations about the Delta/Cosmos/Marcia love triangle, and questions about Marcia's parentage. It's all far too complicated to report here, so you'll just have to go and read it for yourself! It is worth pointing out to new players that if you do not read the messages in the bulletin board you miss out on a lot of things - useful information (sometimes even vital!) and fun alike. Reading the messages and posting replies is free, it is part of GEnie Basic Services. If you are not sure how to use the bulletin board, send some mail to the MPGames staff, or to Hazed (FEDII.2) and they will help you out. **>>CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * leave a message in the game log * a message to Hazed or Bella * send GEnie mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. (New edition will be available shortly!) Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). There are also private categories for Explorers, run by Krell, and for the Conclave run by Oddball (Mail ID: D.STALZLE). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS