**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 92.12.06 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> OOOOPS! Another newsdroids gets turned into an ashtray. It seemed to be having a problem with zeroes last week - it reported that Dukes get a 1% slice of their planet owners' income, when in fact its 10%, and then said that Khan had played 100 games, when he's obviously played 1000!! Actually, we also forget to make it clear that the money that Dukes get from the planet owners does NOT come out the planet's treasury, it is extra money on top of the income and outgo of the planet. We wouldn't want any planet owners to think that joining a duchy reduces their income! Now, was anything ELSE wrong with last week's news? **>> MINOR CHANGES Bella has made two minor changes to the game. The command now shows you the planets in duchy order, making it so much easier to see which Duke has attracted the most trade. When you end a message with a smiley face, the game will spot it and change the verb "say" to "smiles". For example, you type: >"I'm in a very good mood today :) and the game will show it as: >Hazed smiles, 'I'm in a very good mood today :)' Bella's going to make one more change to this - she's going to make the game strip off the :) from the end of the sentence. **>> CHRISTMAS FUN HAS STARTED Christmas on GEnie started last night with Santa's Workshop, and Fed took a room with the intention of talking about role-playing. In the event, we did no talking but a lot of doing, spending the whole time having an enormous snowball fight! Hazed was nominally in charge, but Marcia did the most to make new people feel at home, with her auto-greeter that threw a snowball at anyone who poked their nose (or equivalent) into the room. Several people decided to build snow forts, but found they weren't much protection from the massive number of icy projectiles being hurled around. Hazed delighted in sneaking up behind people and dumping snowballs down their necks, but was not at all happy when everyone decided to gang up on her - even her serfs! Since Fed is a hi-tech game, it was inevitable that people should try to improve on merely throwing snowballs. Oxcart attempted to build a large catapult out of his underwear, but this wasn't a great success. Hazed tried to modify her missile rack to handle snowballs, but the heat of the equipment simply melted the snow and she ended up dribbling water out of her launcher. Oxcart tried again to make a mechanical device, this time using gunpowder, and he managed to create a massive explosion that killed at least one and injured several. As Brawn said, "Revenge is a dish best served cold - and snow is as cold as it gets outside of space", so Oxcart had his head thrust into a snowdrift. Hazed took to climbing trees and shaking the branches so snow fell onto everyone. Marcia, meanwhile built a fully anatomically correct snowman, bringing new meaning to the word "snowballs". Thank you to the Fed players who made the evening such fun, and welcome to any people who have joined Fed as a result of the snowball fight. **>> AMIGA STARSHIP CHRISTMAS PARTY The Amiga Starship will be docking with one of the Galactic Administration's hyperspace links next Friday, December 11, and on Saturday December 12 they will be throwing a massive party for all their members and all Fedders. The legendary Lady (one of the first Fed players on GEnie) will be making an appearance, and there'll be fun and games for everyone. The details haven't been finalised yet, so keep an eye on the Fed main page - we'll put information there when it's been sorted out. **>> MORE CHRISTMAS FUN Krell is busy constructing a Christmas planet, featuring Santa's Grotto at the North Pole. The planet will be linked into the game on Christmas Eve and will remain until Twelth Night. Santa himself will be visiting Fed Data Space, and this time he has two whole days of free Fed to give away. More details of this shortly. **>> PLANET AND DUCHY NEWS Two new planets went in this week: Roissy, owned by Marcia, and Topper's Oasis. We despatched a newsdroid to Roissy to report on the first of the new planets, and it came back mumbling incoherently about saunas up trees, underground playrooms, Klingon love poetry and turtleneck sweaters! It also had some rather strange marks on its back... Oh well, there's plenty more newsdroids where that one came from. Next week we'll send one to Oasis and report on what it finds. Both the new planets have immediately joined Occy's duchy. However, Condor has deserted Occy for Hazed's duchy, Scratchwood. Despite this loss, Zippy is still the largest duchy, and Occy is well on the way to building himself a solid power base. **>> OOOOOOH! In our never-ceasing search for gossip, we stumbled across the following snippet of conversation: >'makes me throw up', says Freya >Mourningstar says, 'So don't swallow....' >Freya says, 'you have to swallow' >Mourningstar says, 'Well... I guess you do....' >Mourningstar says, 'Or else it will come out your nose...' Freya swears they were talking about yoghurt. Uh huh. Meanwhile, spybeams were sizzling last night as Kevin and Marcia indulged in a steamy sex scene on Marcia's new planet. Just about everyone in Fed was watching, including one of our newsdroids, but it refused to tell us what it had seen, crying "Family network! Family network!" in a loud voice. You'll just have to ask one of the participants for all the gory details. **>> PROMOTIONS NEWS After last week's enormous number of promotions, things have been a lot quieter this week. There was only one new Captain, Stardragon. Sharp was the only new Adventurer, and Mourningstar the only one to make Trader. Total was the sole Merchant and Hawkman the only one to solve the awesome JP puzzle. There were, however, two new Squires. Both Marcia and Topper had their planets linked into the game. Oxcart's planet advanced to Industrial, and he's now an Industrialist. Brewski also advanced and Otoole has been promoted to Technocrat. Elex became a Baron as his world made the jump to leisure. He's about ready to start building the facilities he needs for the Duke puzzle, he says. Total and Sneezy both started up companies, becoming CEOs of TOTAL Satisfaxion and IntroSpective Intergalactic, respectively. **>>CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * leave a message in the game log * a message to Hazed or Bella * send GEnie mail with the Federation Feedback option from the main menu You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. (New edition will be available shortly!) Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). There are also private categories for Explorers, run by Krell, and for the Conclave run by Oddball (Mail ID: D.STALZLE). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS