The new news is up! Faster than a speeding bullet, *MORE EFFICIENT WITHOUT HAZED AROUND*, the newsdroids have finished the news a full day ahead of schedule! There is no need to wait until Sunday. Get the latest breaking stories now! **>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 93.05.22 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> NOT compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip this week and get paid good groats! **>> NEW FEATURES The new version of the game mentioned in the last two news bulletins went in on Thursday night. Although not many changes are visible, the production and jobs code was substantially re-written, and the format of the persona, duchy, company and naval base records was changed. Normally changes are put in a small bit at a time, but unfortunately this wasn't possible with these changes, and inevitably a number of problems have shown up. The first bug to show hit Jade and Emmi, who were zapped for 24 Giga-groats customs dues as they crossed into Sol. The bars buzzed with rumours that Clinton had just been elected emperor... This caused a crash (an overflow, for the programmers amongst our readers) and the crash revealed another problem which stopped the game firing up properly for part of the night. The bugs were fixed during the day on Friday and the game survived Friday night, showing up a number of other small bugs which Bella is currently dealing with. We're sorry about the lack of availablity on Thursday night. The following is a list of bugs that have either been fixed, or are being looked at, so you don't need to report them again: Customs dues of 24 Giga! Unable to liquidate company although factories all sold Sell factory is always one out on the factory number Getting permission to build a factory when the owner is not on Planet owners writing jobs directly to Transportation Transfers to & from factories at logon don't say which factory. A by-product of the program that converted everyone's records is that all cargo was set to a value of 100IG/ton and an origin of Titan. Newly purchased goods will have the correct price/origin. If you buy a factory, it won't be loaded into the game until you next log on (if you use 'display factories' it will show up as being off-line). **>> GAME SPEED We would like comments on speed - if the game is slow at quiet times when you would have expected it to be faster 'send' a note to Bella immediately (all 'send' messages are time stamped) and she can look at whether the problem is with GEnie's computers being overloaded, or whether it is a consequence of the new file format. **>> GOSSIP, SCANDAL, LIES, ETC... Even with Hazed brashly cavorting in California, the newsdroids continue to operate like well-oiled machines... **>> EMMI AND WHOM? Emmi is heating up Federation Dataspace! No sooner had she and Maxwell been spotted dancing to slow, moody music that was, unfortunately, tinny (for shame, you two -- at least have the decency to get a good bass driver!), when our newsdroids caught Altasren telling Emmi that "sleeping in her arms was one of the most blissful experiences of his life". Apparently one tea bath isn't enough for some people. As if three isn't already a crowd, the feisty Emmi was recently caught nibbling on Tellurian's ear. Does Noe know about this? Does Maxwell? Does Altasren? Did Menace know this when he propositioned her? Someone pass the scorecard, please ... the newsdroids' heads are beginning to spin! **>> IS BLOOD THICKER THAN ... WHATEVER? Speaking of Emmi, rumor has it that the fair lady is related to none other than ... GLURG? The newsdroids are scurrying to get to the bottom of this, and we'll have a full report as the story comes in. Suffice to say that either there is little family resemblance, or Emmi has spent megagroats and much time in Earth's hospital undergoing plastic surgery! **>> A NEW FEUD? Occy and Akiko were recently heard bickering over the open com. While Occy is fuming that Akiko is allegedly cheating, Akiko is upset because Occy won't sell one of his infamous Arts factories. Unfortunately, the newsdroid recording the conversation ran out of tape; we have no idea how (if) the argument was settled. Meanwhile, the newsdroids moved on to more exciting stories, for fear their jobs would be on the line by reporting anything so mundane while Hazed was away. **>> JP AT LAST! After three long, tortuous years, Altasren has finally quit roleplaying long enough to solve a puzzle. JP today, GM in 1996! Sheesh, Alt, slow down and enjoy life some. If you keep up this hectic pace, you'll be a duke by the year Fed is set in. **>> WIDOW FOR RENT Zodiac has shed her widow's garb and stopped mourning her dead husband, Tellurian. My, that was quick! She's picked up the pace quite nicely with her new-found beau, Menace. Don't they make a lovely couple? And where, one wonders, does this leave Florence? **>> THE SAGA CONTINUES... An entire issue without mentioning Jade and Glurg? Impossible! Both have been stubbornly silent about their separation and supposed re-marriage, which is driving the newsdroids nuts. Come on, you two, spill it. Inquiring mechanical minds want to know what's going on! **>> ASIDE Destiny and Ni? Who would have thought! **>> WHERE THERE'S LOVE, THERE'S FIRE Finally, an end to the Becky/Hans saga. You'll recall that earlier issues of the news reported the love-struck Hans and the unbelievably dense Becky were destined for the altar. What they were going to do on the altar is something even the newsdroids refuse to contemplate. No sooner had the wedding ceremony begun (during which Hazed, who was coerced into officiating, gave a lovely dissertation on sex with sentient and non- sentient beings), when Becky stomped off, leaving poor Hans alone at he altar. Our newsdroids were quick to follow, and learned that Density (as Becky knows him) had told Becky that only weddings conducted on Insanity were valid. Throughout the ceremony, Becky had been seen asking repeatedly if she was on Insanity. Although it pains us to admit it, to their credit Glurg and Occy tried to straighten Becky out. (Valiant effort, guys. But remember with whom we are dealing.) At the same time, Hans and Akiko were busily assuring Becky that she was indeed on Insanity. Finally, Glurg led a confused Becky to Castillo's landing pad and showed her proof of the planet she was on. (Really! We've heard of newbods getting lost in space, but someone forgetting which planet she is on?!) Wedding plans were trashed. Becky was devastated that Hans had lied to her, yet for some unknown reason she continued to listen to him. In the end, she trusted Hans one too many times. Our roving newsdroids picked up the following conversation (we have no shame!): >Your comm unit signals a tight beam message from Hans: type suicide >tell hans I dont want to die!!!!! >Your comm unit signals a tight beam message from Hans: you wont die At this point, Becky pulled out her trusty Arix army knife and committed the dirty deed. When she found out suiciding didn't work the first time, Becky suicided again. Alas, poor Becky, we knew her well... **>> ONCE BITTEN Last but not least, our newsdroids have once again scooped the competition [We love monopolies. --Ed] with another prize-winning story: Maxwell has recently been heard to claim that his not-so-recent death and subsequent resurrection have ... er, "changed" him. He blames these changes on a group of strange doctors who treated him after his untimely demise. Let this be a warning to anyone who flies around uninsured! So what, exactly, are these changes in Max? The newsdroids are currently trying to piece together the following clues: 1. In his earlier life, Max's ship was the "Silverhammer" 2. Max's current his vessel of choice is "Nosferatu". 3. Max has been puzzling Fed-goers by stirring strange packets of mauve powder into his drinks. [A tip for our readers: buy stock in Acme Freeze-Dried Blood, this company is about to take off.] [Note: Maxwell asked this news be kept secret for now. Please help honor his request by not sharing his vampire status with anybody. We thank you for your cooperation.] **>> SPYNET REVIEW There will be no SpyNet Review until the newsdroids can tear Hazed away from California and shackle her in front of her computer. Look for news of promotions, etc as soon as Hazed has consumed massive amounts of aspirin and tomato juice (ie, in a couple of weeks), whereupon she will fulfill her promise to catch up with a mega-issue of the SpyNet Review. **>> BULLETIN ENDS