**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 93.09.05 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Gemini plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> GUEST NEWSDROID This week's news has been compiled by Gemini. We'll get the official junk out of the way first, then we'll hand the Big Red Button that controls the newsdroids over to her. We're now recruiting someone to control the newsdroids at the end of September. Hazed will be tapping somone on the shoulder (or equivalent) very soon and making them an offer they can't refuse! **>> IT'S HOLIDAY TIME! Monday September 6 is Labour Day (or Labor as you Yanks insist on spelling it). Possibly this means that all the recent Fed pregnancies will come to fruition... It's a GEnie Holiday, which means you can play Fed all day at the standard hourly connect charge - there will be no prime-time surcharge. Have fun! **>> APOLOGIES... ...For the problems earlier in the week which meant that gains made on Monday evening were not saved. If you lost groats, contact a member of the Senate and ask to be reimbursed. **>> NEW IN THE BBS Hazed has started a topic in the Explorer's area of the MPGames BBS, where people who are having trouble coming up with ideas for planets can link up with creative players who can help them out. That's Cat 43, Top 20. **>> NEW IN THE MPGAMES LIBRARY There's been several new files in the Fed library of the MPGames libraries. Plantking has uploaded a new version of his offline tour program, which lets you walk around planets offline. As well as his own planet and Krell's Gothan, it now includes Marcia's Roissy (which went mini last week). CANNA104.ZIP is file 3173 in the library, it runs on any PC. ZINDERIN (whoever he, she or it is in Fed) has taken the very old ASCII maps provided by Hussein many moons ago, and converted them to graphics format. File 3154 has the maps in GIF format; file 3151 in the Amiga ILBM format. Plantking has uploaded COMMANDS.REF, a list of Fed commands for you to use as a handy reference. It's file 3176. **>> AND NOW... That's the boring official news out of the way, so heeeeeeeeeere's Gemini! **> HEADS OR TAILS Icepirate has finally found his true love. Again? His true love is now Tabby, a primal growling cat that uses her tail purrfectly. Upon consulting Tellurian if it was too soon to propose (they had just met moments before), he dutifully says, 'Yes.' and proceeds to marry Tabby and Icepirate anyway. After the wedding ceremony, Tabby inquired if anyone would be attending the honeymoon. Little to Icepirate's knowledge, everyone did attend, curtesy of the big screen TV at Sam's. Popcorn and beer was served. The bonding in Sam's was encouraging as Fed's version of MST3K was played out by the patrons. The honeymoon action was... well....was. The Russian Judge held up score cards at the finish. (And we are still wondering if it did, in fact, finish.) Two scores were displayed. The first score was Icepirate 4, Tabby 6, needs more tail snapping. The second score changed once the judges realized they were not finished. Icepirate's score plummeted to 2 after the # command was used to repeatedly kiss Tabby. Tabby's score increased to 7 because of her primal instincts. The happy couple was then remarried on Ausland by Ramius, who has offered them a homestead on the planet. We look forward to many more ... ummm ... movies. (The popcorn was great. The pizza didn't go so well.) **> GRAPHIC FRONT ENDS (Or GUI's) After sending out special Newsdroids programmed with limited dictionaries and grammar software, we are dismayed with the fact that their circuits were overloaded after capturing news reels of Menace and Azure. After asking Menace how all went, he replied, 'Hot!', which restored our faith in our programming abilities. When we went to dump memory of one droid in particular, all it kept repeating was that we needed a *Graphic* front end to view the encounter. An article named Graphic Front Ends can not go without mention of Marcia. Marcia and Zagmar had their own graphic encounter...on the ceiling in Zagmar's office. Locals are now calling the much sought after Valarian Wine, Sex on the Ceiling. One only has to taste the wine to understand the lift it gives one. And speaking of Marcia... presumed-dead-"special friend" Justy has returned. Has the star named Justy gone nova? Such a brief time did that star shine so brightly. Graphic displays of affection are coursing through Federation Data Space as Jarrepolo and Nymphony melt numerous spybeams a night. The happy couple are threatening the record of bars set by Tellurian and Gemini. Jarrepolo claims that this is not a contest, but stay tuned! With all this barhopping, how has Jarrepolo come up with the time to help GM's reach Explorer. (And why hasn't he helped himself to that rank?) Please remember, when running Graphics such as this, it is important that you have the correct software and hardware. **> IDENTITY CRISIS Have you ever forgotten your name? Have you ever forgotten your friend's name? Worse, have you ever forgotten the name of the person you are being intimate with? And cry out someone else's name?? Pray this never happens to you! Why? Ask Barberousse. And how does Demelza feel about Barberousse calling out another woman's name while in the throws of passion? Newsdroids did not want to attempt asking for fear of becoming UnderFedDroids. **> TIME AFTER TIME After a long time of absence, Maha, Marcia's cousin, has come back to Federation. Many people recall the Piefect wedding of Patch and Seramarias that Maha so graciously catered. Maha has been seen tossing his crust around the solar system again. Does this man have twin pie-lasers? Gemini, having a long love of pies, was seen swapping recipes with Maha and Shekinah. Tellurian arrived at the scene equipped with his own samples of pastry heaven. Having uncovered a consPieracy between Maha and Tellurian, Shekinah and Gemini started their own plotting. Here on out, the tapes of the Newdroid are torn, bent, twisted, and g'ood. Many hours were spent trying to decipher just what exactly happened and how Maha and Tellurian ended up in Horsell. Tired of trying to read the tapes, our team of specialists resorted to scanning the droids memory banks. All they found was a magnet. **> BEHIND CLOSED DOORS Apart from the usual things that go on behind closed doors and what people assume goes on, kissing, plotting, more kissing, more plotting, there are issues that have an effect on our everyday lives. Newsdroids were found lying on the floor, peeking under the door of the Senate. And the floor wasn't the only place they found dirt. Decisions about our lives are made all the time without our knowledge. Is this a Senate Chamber or a Skeleton Closet? These are the people we have set up to make choices for us. Without lower ranked denizens, there would be no need for a government. Are the people you support making the decisions you want them to? Are the issues you deem highly important even discussed by the Senate? What issues and improvements are being handle by the Senate at this time? The fact is, the population of Federation Data Space does =not= know. There is no way to see if =your= needs are being fulfilled. A proposal was made in the Senate. The Senate now faces a vote on whether to make the Senate discussions open for the public to see or not. This would be a perfect opportunity for the public to be informed on what may affect their lives in the near or distant future. The vote is on. Two people have placed their votes on this hot issue. Jim votes 'yes' and has been heard to say that he will not join the Senate Cat unless this change goes through. The only other vote right now is Bochiman's. Bochiman's vote was a plain and simple, bold 'NO'. Hopefully the vote will end soon. **>> SPYNET REVIEW Congratulations to everyone who advanced a rank during the week, and apologies to the few people who had to do it twice because of the problems on Monday! The week's Captains were Walter, Sam, Wilhelm, Thumper, Duncan, Marissa, Phexipotex, Justy, Staff, Juno, Jadephoenix, Wombat and Asp. Albert, Wilhelm, Tabby and Rothinel made it to Adventurer or Adventureuse. The Traders Guild has new members in Brett, Kermes, Tana and Wilhelm. Hypatia, Amigan, Raoul, Skurge, Guru and Rand were promoted to Explorer. Silk and Nightstalker both solved the fiendish GM puzzle, then went on to become Explorers. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * a message to Hazed or Bella * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The Amiga version is in beta-test. You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. (New edition will be available shortly - and this time we really mean it!) Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER), and for the Senate, run by Oddball (Mail ID: D.STALZLE). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS