**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 93.09.19 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> A BANGING OF HEADS A few weeks ago, we printed a long article about feuds and vendettas, and we tried to make it clear that there is a line over which you should not step. We might as well not have bothered, because over the last week a feud between two high-ranking players has blown up out of all proportion and has gone far too far. Federation is supposed to be the adult space fantasy, but there's a lot of childish behaviour going on. This serves as a cautionary note to all concerned, ringleaders and followers, on both sides of the dispute: COOL IT! **>> INFORMATION ABUSE On a related issue... Members of the Senate have been agitating recently for more powers to go with their exalted rank. Since they are now the Fed Government, they argue, they should be able to do things to affect the game and the players. Bella, frankly, was unhappy about giving them any kind of powers that could be abused, but she was persuaded against her better judgment to give them a chance to prove themselves. A new command was introduced recently for members of the Sentate, to test how they would behave given extra powers. The command shows them which objects are out of the game being recycled, and how many minutes till they reappear. And guess what? Some members of the Senate are abusing this command by using it to pounce on important objects the moment they appear, and hiding them to prevent other people using them. Looks like Bella's misgivings were justified. Bella is now considering whether she should remove the command again. **>> OKTOBERFEST PARTY Ramius is hosting an Oktoberfest Party on his planet, Ausland, on Saturday October 2 at 9.00pm CST. He won't be able to be there until around 10.30pm but he wants you all to come along and have a great time, drinking German beer, eating bratwurst and other German delicacies, and sampling the buxom German frauleins. Lederhosen optional. You can also have a shot at solving the Ausland puzzle, for which there is a 15 meg reward. Sounds like a lot of fun, we'll try to get a newsdroid there to capture the excitement. **>> WEDDED BLISS Yet another wedding in Fed Data Space - they happen so frequently they are hardly the stuff great news reports are made of, but this one is worth writing about because one of the happy couple has been trying for so long to find a spouse... Yes, at last, Mojo has found someone who can put up with him! He's achieved his life-long ambition, to get married. And the lucky bride? It's Barney! We spoke to blushing Barney after the wedding, and were told, "We're so happy. It's like a dream come true. Mojo is a perfect Gentleman, he'll make the ideal husband. We're planning on spawning immediately and raising a big happy family. All of Fed is overjoyed at our union." Keep taking the tablets, Barney! **>> TANGLED AFFAIRS Oh dear. Amber is cross with us newsdroids. She didn't want us to publish the story about her trysts with Altasren. At first we agreed to keep it out of the news, but we received so many reports of their antics that it was quite obviously public knowledge already. Now she won't speak to us any more. But we have heard that she's trying to split up Marcia and Altasren, so she can have the elf all to herself. She's hired Justy to go after Marcia, leaving Alt at a loose end, so to speak. Sounds like she's really desparate! Meanwhile, Icepirate just doesn't trust his new wife Tabby. He's been sending people to test her fidelity while he spies on her! Not fair, not fair at all... **>> ARISE, SIR MAXWELL! Used to be that Glurg hated Maxwell because he was despoiling his little sister Emmi. Now he's resigned himself to their relationship. And because Glurg is now a Duke, it makes Emmi sort of royalty too. So Maxwell had to be elevated somehow to make him worthy of Emmi's attention - afterall, you can't have royalty hob-nobbing with commoners! So Maxwell has been knighted. He's joined the Knights of the Oblong Table of Sapien. His official duties are to protect Emmi and fetch toilet paper when the palace runs out. **>> SUBSTITUTION There's already a way that the TDX can be used as a substitute for the Whoosh - anyone who has tried to get out of the Martian Ruins will know what we are talking about. But now someone has discovered that if the Whoosh is not available, the TDX can also be used as a cure for constipation. It gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "Blow it out yer arse!" **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES Niun is getting very worried, as other Dukes try to lure away his serfs with promises of wealth and power. Jim was making goo-goo eyes at the planet-owners, trying to seduce them to join him. He met with little success, despite his offers of free sex. Meanwhile, Glurg was offering instant baronies to anyone who joined his new Duchy of Sapien - and this tactic actually seemed to work because Source and Xixax both seceded from Niun's Duchy and joined Glurg's! We wonder if they will stick with him when they discover he cannot deliver on his promises... Tao's planet, Rtyui (goodness knows how you pronounce that!) will be linked into the game early next week. We'll give you a report in next week's news. **>> SPYNET REVIEW Well done to all those who were promoted during the week. The new Captains were Shadowlord, Zaroth, Reidfleming, Sheba, Caesar, Doogan, Gypsyrose, Wolverine, Wapa and Ensor. Adventurers and Adventureuses were Karrde, Staffa, Shadowlord, Kim, Sheba and Gypsyrose. Mrbunny became a Trader. Presumably he will try to corner the market in carrots. Amiga solved the awesome JP puzzle. Rand and Gemini both cracked the devilish GM puzzle, and Gemini went on to make Explorer. Ingollde and Capo bought themselves companies: Timewarp & Singularities Inc, and Avarice Inc, respectively. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * a message to Hazed or Bella * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The Amiga version is in beta-test. You can order a copy of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation by typing ORDER at any GEnie menu. Cost - a mere $12.95. (New edition will be available shortly - and this time we really mean it!) Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER), and for the Senate, run by Oddball (Mail ID: D.STALZLE). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS