**>> SPYNET BULLETIN 
 **>> EARTHDATE 93.11.28 
 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE 
 
 **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids 
 **>> <SEND HAZED> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! 
 
 
 **>> GIVE ME LIBERTY 
 
Freya has done a magnificent job designing a Thanksgiving planet for us.
Liberty is a nightmare vision of a family get-together, which will strike a
chord in many players who have suffered the inquisitive questioning and
incessant nagging that families always inflict of single adult offspring. 
 
Your mission is to visit Grandmother's House for the Thanksgiving holiday
(not forgetting the cranberry sauce you promised Mom you'd bring). On the
way you see Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, and take a detour to Thanksgiving
past and future. 
 
Liberty will remain in the game until Tuesday, so that those who went  
away for Thanksgiving have a chance to explore it. 
 
 
 **>> GALACTIC POSTAL STRIKE 
 
Those militant postal workers are planning another strike on Tuesday, at
which time they will trash all undelivered sendmail in protest against the
Galactic Administration's harsh new working regime (only three tea-breaks
allowed during the afternoon). If you have important information to send to
your friends and colleagues, warn them to collect it before Tuesday
afternoon - or hold off sending it until the evening. 
 
At the same time, naval bases will start to deteriorate again. They've been
rust-free for some time, to compensate for the problems Dukes and Senators
were experiencing with builds; Bella now considers she's been nice for long
enough and will cause them to degrade at the usual rate. 
 
 
 **>> THE IDIOT'S GUIDE TO FEDERATION 
 
Hazed is, as we write, putting the finishing touches to the new all-
singing, all-dancing edition of The Idiot's Guide! It will be shipped to
GEnie for printing in the next few days. We'll let you know as soon as it's
actually available, so you can all rush to order your very own copy. 
 
The third edition is very much expanded from the last edition. Its 206
pages contain new chapters on running a company, and designing and building
a planet. The whole Guide has been overhauled to bring it right up to date,
taking into account the effect player planets has on all aspects of the
game. As before, it gives hints and tips gleaned from the authors'
extensive experience of playing Fed that will be invaluable to players of
all levels. 
 
New appendices have the walkthrough of the planet Cabbage, and the
workbench files, to show you how to achieve certain effects; the complete
list of commodities required by factories; the Federation policy; and
information about FedTerm. 
 
What would an H-by-A document be without jokes? Boring, that's what!
Boring, this Guide ain't. It's got lots of jokes, maybe even one you
haven't heard before. It's got pictures, a map of Sol space, sketchmaps of
the most-travelled routes in the Solar System, and extremely brilliant
cartoons (drawn by the very nice chap who used to do the Fed comic strip in
the old paper Livewire magazine). 
 
We'll be plugging the new Guide incessently, until the only way to shut us
up will be to buy at least one copy! 
 
 
 **>> THE CAMPAIGNING STARTS 
 
Our suggestion recently that Senators Bochiman and Glurg should team up to
relieve their mutual boredeom has obviously been enthusiastically received
by Bochi. He's started to campaign for the forthcoming Imperial Elections.
But contrary to popular expectation, he doesn't want to push himself
forward as a possible candidate; no, he has nominated his new side-kick
Glurg to be the first player bottom on the throne! 
 
Of course, all this assumes that the incumbent, Ming of Mongo, is willing
to give up power without a struggle. 
 
And now, another episode of... Pigs In Space! 
 
 
 **>> MULTIMEDIA LIVEWIRE - NEW ISSUE AVAILABLE 
 
The December Multimedia LiveWire is now available. This month, it
concentrates on online product support. 
 
Interactive versions with graphics, animation, and sound are available for 
IBM-compatibles (one version for both MS-DOS and Windows), 256-color 
Macintosh, and Amiga. 
 
You can download Livewire for free - there's a menu option on the main Fed
page that takes you straight there. 
 
 
 **>> ANIMAL MAGIC 
 
We've been finding out more about Glurg's current fixation with animals.
Apparently the Senator has had a thing about animals for some time. Our
famed oldest FED resident told us this "Glurg/Hazed" story: It seems that
Hazed walked into Sam's one day to find Glurg playing chess with a rather
plain-looking brown dog. Hazed exclaimed, "That dog's amazing Glurg!".
Without breaking concentration, Glurg answered, "He's not so smart. I've
beaten him in three out of five games so far.".  
  
Recently Glurg was seen at the FED Pet Store (and where did you think he
got his donkey?), attempting to get a parrot to talk. He repeatedly said,
"Polly wanna cracker?" to the bird, who studiuosly ignored him. Finally,
Glurg shouted at him, "YOU STUPID BIRD! CAN YOU TALK? CAN YOU TALK?". The
parrot answered, "Of course I can you idiot! Can you fly?" Impressed, Glurg
said to the store clerk, "Excellent! I have my ship outside, send me the
bill!". Knowing Glurg's reputation, the clerk replied, "No way Senator, you
take the whole bird or nothing!". Shortly thereafter, Senator Glurg was
forcibly ejected for feeding the parrot. (What? Oh ... to the lion ... to
the lion!) 
  
During the altercation a male gorilla escaped. He was later spotted on
Nautilus cavorting on top of the gazebo. Chainsaw reported this to the Pet
Store and they contracted Icepirate to recover him per instructions. Thus,
Icey arrived at the gazebo carrying a ladder, Diesel's baseball bat, and a
twin laser. He was followed by one of those infamous, specially-trained FED
Chihuahuas (you know, the ratty-looking ones with two-inch teeth). When
Chain observed this, he asked Icey what all the stuff was for. Icey
answered, "Well, I'll use the ladder to climb up there, and Diesel's bat to
knock him down. Then that Chihuahua will grab him by the balls, and I'll
load him up and take him away!" Chain thought about this and said, "OK...
but what's the twin laser for?" Icey exclaimed, "Oh yes! The most important
part, and you have to help! You keep the laser, and if that gorilla knocks
me off the roof, YOU SHOOT THE DOG!!!" (We had never really appreciated the
connotations of Hazed's old Chihuahua-skin suit until we heard this one!) 
 
 
 **>> WEDDINGS AND BIRTHS (but not necessarily in that order) 
 
There were horrific scenes in Chez Diesel last night, when Oxcart and Glurg
mated with each other! This was probably the only time Ox achieved sexual
intercourse all year... 
 
As a result of this frantic coupling, Oxcart spawned, giving birth to
several... somethings... that Glurg immediately ate. 
 
Glurg was obviously feeling rather ill, because prior to this event he had
been heard telling everyone he saw that he loved them. This
uncharacteristic display of affection and good will ended with him marrying
Crashcorr - much to Crash's surprise (and probably disgust). 
 
Earlier in the week, Glurg's donkey Lizzy gave birth to twin baby donkeys.
DNA tests (conducted by Paladin) showed that the twins each had different
fathers. The boy was the offspring of Ciaran, and the girl, it appears, was
fathered by Hazed! 
 
Incidentally, those who have thought the demi-Goddess has been acting a
little strangely during the past week, should be aware that something went
wrong with the sex-change operation that turned her back into a woman. When
having the op to switch gender to male, the surgeons of course had to
remove two-thirds of her brain; tests show that they forgot to replace the
missing grey matter when returning her to her natural state! 
 
 
 **>> TREASURE TRAIL 
 
Chez Diesel this morning was running out of Reddiwhip, as Marcia laid
trails of cream for Ciaran to follow. We are sure you can imagine where the
trails led... 
 
 
 **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES 
 
Hypatia's new planet was linked into the game early in the week. Valcanya,
in the Ambetung system, is a tropical world, with most of the surface
covered with water. The land areas consist mostly of delightful sandy
beaches, where the natives host clambakes (all visitors welcome). Tourists
can ride a fishing fleet out into the ocean, and visit a jungle area where
dinosaurs still roam! 
 
Emmi's Oac will come in early next week. 
 
After last week's massive realignment within the duchies, we thought things
would settle down a little. We were wrong, because no sooner had the ink
dried (or the phosphor faded) on last week's news, but Looney solved the
devilish Duke puzzle and a fifth duchy appeared to complete the set.
Planets immediately started shuffling around, changing the map of the
Galaxy considerably. 
 
A few days later, Jim's duchy of Crime disappeared because he'd been absent
for a while. It will return when he does. But it means that when the next
person makes Duke (and there are several people building), no-one will have
to promote to Senator. 
 
So, here's what the duchies look like today: 
 
There are three Independent planets: Brewski, Oasis and Nautilus. 
 
Niun's Ocean has six systems: Dahih, Fremd, Paradigm, Dawn, Nemesis and
Ambetung. 
 
Krell's Gotham still has only Jinx. 
 
Zippo's Oppiz contains seven: Starship, Valaria, Roissy, Mirai, Rtyui, Warp
and Aiel. 
 
New boy Looney has six systems in Insanity: Dunnottar, Chaos, Source,
Links, Aytes and Mycenae. 
 
 
 **>> SPYNET REVIEW 
 
It's been another very busy week in Fed, with a multitude of new players -
as shown by the new Captains of the week: Johnny, Budwarp, Dornal,
Blackfrancis, Slurpy, Bianca, Cujo, Joshua, Breaker, Rai, Kaighishi, Pete,
Monk, Starstroller, Oggthebogg, Jonathan, Sabre, Ice, Starstroller (again),
Rhonda and Underwood. 
 
Hanz, Cronar, Herdsman, Breaker, Hazard, Cromley, Cecil and Starstroller
all became Adventurers (no Adventureuses this week). 
 
The Traders Guild admitted Blade, Mosquito, Omicron, Gorg, Breaker and
Herdsman. 
 
Gypsyrose became a Merchant. 
 
Tabby solved the awesome JP puzzle. Sean cracked the fiendish GM puzzle,
and then went on to make Explorer. Fletcher also made it to Explorer. 
 
Hypatia's new planet went in and she was promoted to Squire. 
 
Looney saved the galaxy from A Fate Worse Than Death and became Duke of
Insanity. 
 
This week's notable deaths were concentrated around the middle ranks. The
virus that causes dead-deaths has obviously moved from the high-ranking
players! We lost Traders Blade, Charlie and Melacha, and Merchant Flick. 
 
Four people set up companies, adding to the hive of industry that drives
the Galactic economy: Zippy formed Megabuck's Enterprises; Gypsyrose set up
Lennon's Marks Cooperatives; Melchior became CEO of Mel-Built; and Tim
started 8th Dimension, Inc. 
 
Congratulations to everyone who got promoted! 
 
 
 **>> CONTACTS 
 
The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so
you don't have to read it if you already know it. 
 
In the event of a problem or question, you can: 
 
 * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game 
 
 * <SEND> a message to Hazed or Bella 
 
 * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu
 
A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC. You
can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation libraries (option 3 on
the main  Fed page). The Amiga version is in beta-test.  
 
A new version of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation will
be available Real Soon Now! 
 
Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type
M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information,
instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and
discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail
ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the
Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). 
 
The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5.
Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives.  
 
 **>> BULLETIN ENDS