**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 94.01.23 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> ALL QUIET ON THE FED FRONT This will be a short, skimpy little news because there's really nothing to report, either from Bella or from the players. Even Hazed doesn't seem to be capable of making up stories at the moment! Don't forget that we pay well for news stories, or for information that we can turn into a story. We would also like to recruit some Guest NewsDroids to compile the news. Once a month we turn the control box over to a player, to give Hazed a rest and to give our readers some variety. If you fancy a bash at producing the news bulletin, talk to Hazed. **>> GET LOST! The easiest way to get lost is to log off on a player planet. When you log back on, you will probably find that the sign-posting is totally inadequate. You might not even know what planet you are on! A short description that just says "Exchange" or "Landing Pad" isn't terribly informative for those with bad memories. Here's a suggestion: planet-owners, why don't you include the name of your world in the short description of the key locations like the Landing Pad, Exchange and Link? It might make it a bit easier to remember where you are. After all, when you've seen the inside of as many trading exchanges as we have, they all tend to look the same after a while... **>> PROBLEM PUZZLES A lot of people have been moaning about having problems with puzzles recently. Last night Paladin was at his wits end trying to do the GM puzzle! All week, he had very graciously allowed other people to go first, and then when he thought he would finally get a turn he couldn't get the helpers he needed! At last, he managed to get onto Snark and attempt the puzzle, only to fail at the last possible minute and die. Seems like the game just wants him to remain the Oldest JP! Alexander also felt hard done by when he attempted JP. He discovered that one of his helpers wasn't strong enough for the task - and then discovered that he wasn't strong enough either! Sounds like his puzzle attempt lacked preparation. He did finally succeed (with Amigan's help) and was able to turn his mood to "The Astral Plane Journeyman". More seriously, Mosquito was exploring Snark prior to attempting the GM puzzle, and was being mentored by Tellurian. He became distracted by other hopefuls asking him questions, and took his eyes of Mosquito for a moment. Next thing he knew, she'd neglected to re-insure and gone rushing back into danger, and died dead-dead! She's already back to Merchant, and it won't be long till she is risking her life on Snark again (although hopefully not her life-life!) **>> DEAD AS A DODO Skeeter wasn't the only d-d during the week. We also lost Explorer Aahz, who took his own life in desperation. Aahz arrived in Fed Data Space offering poor people the chance to receive a share of his vast wealth. His comm message of "1 meg to the first person to find me" resulted in one of the worst traffic jams the spaceways have ever seen! Unpainted ships lined up on all the landing pads as the search began. As the night wore on, Aahz gave out around 19 meg to various Captains, Adventurers and even to one JP. A few deaths were recorded during their searches - treasure hunting always has been an expensive and dangerous business. Rai met a grisly end in Transuranics, and is now glowing nicely! After taking a last train ride, and disposing of the remainder of his fortune to the needy and greedy, Aahz went to Chez Diesel for the suicide party. Finally, the farewells had been said, and he went to the Altar in the Martian Ruins for his final act. With a majestic swan dive, he plunged underneath the Altar and there met his death. We asked those who attended the party if they had any clue as to why he had done himself in! They said that he'd stated, "I'll kill myself because there's only one Emmi and her heart belongs to Maxwell". Really, we didn't realise Emmi was such a femme fatale (literally!) **>> PLEDGING THEIR TROTH [Just what is a troth, anyway? We always thought it was a rather disgusting animal, relating to orcs but not as civilized.] Last night, Altasren and Azure were joined in wedded bliss on Oac, Emmi's planet. The run-up to their marriage was certainly controversial, but they seemed to put the trauma behind them for their special day. The service was conducted with dignity by Ramius, who brought not a few tears to eyes (or equivalent) with his moving words. Although there were a few hollow coughs when he talked about "lifelong mate" and "ready to spend the rest of their lives together"! Zodiac did not speak up when objections were asked for... but whether she would have kept quiet if Tabby, Grizzley and others hadn't pointed their guns at her, we will never know. Hazed would almost certainly have had a few pointed words to say at this point had she been at the wedding; it was probably just as well she didn't attend. She's still smarting over not getting paid for all her hard work. With Marcia the bridesmaid and Tellurian the best man, this was an occasion for old feuds to be forgotten. After the ceremony, the reception in Cindy's Tavern on Nautilus was a jolly affair, with only Zodiac not entering fully into the spirit of the occasion. Azure decided to stir things up by tossing her bouquet into Zodiac's lap; the garter was thrown to Mojo but deftly fielded by Rai. Tellurian toasted the happy couple (not over an open fire, of course!). Finally, with Marcia announcing to her husband Ciaran that she was going to make him a daddy (not out of wool, of course!) the happly couple retired for the night to their marriage bed. **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES The duchies continue to be stable, with no movement except that caused by planets going off-line. Regis has completed his planet and it will be linked into the game during the earlier part of next week. Plantking is continuing to build the facilities he needs to attempt the Duke puzzle. He is almost ready to take a trip back in time to the sleepy little village of Horsell. Barberousse's Source made the leap from mining to leisure world last week, and he has started to build. He's completed his teleporter, so can now be seen popping in and out all over the Galaxy. No doubt we'll see quite a few deaths while he gets the hang of the controls! Teleporting into the sun can be deadly. **>> SPYNET REVIEW Things are starting to pick up again after the post-Christmas doldrums. The new Captains this week were Frub, Halthron, Ghostofni, Arenanaug, Glug, Zipangu, Tunella, Nail, Alcleric, Mosquito (back from the dead), Freelancer, Bandor, Gretel, Sheba and Crippled. This week's Adventurers and Adventureuses were Halthron, Arenanaug, Jonathan, Backlash, Tunella and Mosquito. Arenanaug, Ugg, Tunella, Vaxalon, Mosquito and Halthron were admitted to the Traders Guild. Mosquito and Risor became Merchants. Barberousse advanced his planet through several levels, and got promoted to Industrialist, then Technocrat, and then Baron! Riccardo also became a Baron. Explorer Aahz and JP Mosquito went dead-dead (see our earlier stories). Finally, Oxcart has played 2000 games. Well done Ox! **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * a message to Hazed or Bella * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The Amiga version is in beta-test. A new version of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation is at the printers and will be available very shortly. Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS