**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 94.01.30 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> THE WAITING IS OVER In March 1992, Hazed put the finishing touches to what she thought would be the third edition of the Idiot's Guide to Federation. She sat back and heaved a huge sigh of satisfaction at a job well done. But events conspired to delay the printing of the Guide, and before long the game had changed and it was out of date before it had even gone to the printers. A year later, she resumed work on the third edition, overhauling it completely, adding new sections, updating everything. Month after month, she promised people it would be ready "Real Soon Now". In November 1993, she finished it. Again. And sent it off to the printers. Delays followed, but still she kept promising that it would be ready any day. Honest! At last, she can really breathe easy. It's ready. It's on sale. It's waiting for you to order it. The long-awaited third edition of the Idiot's Guide to Federation is much expanded from the previous version. It covers the ranks from GroundHog to Explorer, and includes new sections about companies, and building a planet. A walkthrough and workbench files of the planet Cabbage will help Explorers to see how to achieve the effects found on player planets. Facts and figures, hints and tips, will help you gain a deeper understanding of the way the game works. There are sketchmaps of the main routes on some of the Solar System planets, a map of Sol Space, lots of pretty pictures, some amazing cartoons drawn for us by Robin Evans (who used to do the Fed cartoon strip in the old paper Livewire magazine), and a new joke! The new Guide costs $15.95, and if you type ORDER from any GEnie main menu page you'll be able to buy yourself a copy, and one for your friends, and each member of your family, and even one for your pets. Purchasing the Guide will not only ensure that your life in Fed will be happy and fruitful, it will earn you the undying love and gratitude of Hazed. **>> LIVEWIRE - BY HAZED February's issue of the new multimedia Livewire magazine is now available, and the GEnie Gamer section has this month been written by Hazed. It contains details of the kinds of promotions we do involving special planets, and a plug for the new Idiot's Guide (only $15.95; type ORDER). You can download Livewire for free - there's a menu option on the Fed page that leads you to the Livewire page. Multimedia Livewire is available for the PC (both Dos and Windows), the Mac and the Amiga. If you have a different computer, you can download the text version, in a variety of different archives. **>> FEBRUARY GUEST Next week's news will be written by a Guest NewsDroid. He, she or it wishes to remain anonymous to assist him, her or it in the collection of gossip. If you see a suspicious man, woman or thing with a camera in one hand and a notebook in the other, it might be next week's Guest NewsDroid! If you'd like to turn your hand (or equivalent) to writing the news, giving Hazed a rest and the readers a change, contact us. We pay good groats! **>> 1994 CALENDAR OF EVENTS Hazed is starting to put together a calendar of events for the year in Fed. Most of the special events she has in mind are still rather vague, but here's the calendar so far: February - Valentine's Day Tellurian and Freya are collaborating to write a Battle of the Sexes planet for us, which will be linked into the game on Friday February 11 and remain over the weekend, through Valentine's Day itself, until the morning of Tuesday 15. April - Easter/April Fool's Day Since these two events are on the same weekend this year, we'll be having a double promotion! The Easter Bunny will be visiting Fed to give out easter eggs and groats, and we'll be commissioning an April Fool's planet. We already have someone in mind to write this planet. Hazed is also lobbying for Cabbage to be put in for the weekend, since it is vaguely Easter- related. May - May Day Spring is here, tra-la-la, let's dance round the may pole in the ancient fertility rite. We're sure someone can write us a planet for this! July - Independence Day How about a Boston Tea Party planet? August - Short Story Competition Your chance to write a story based in the Fed universe - about your character, or another person, or a mobile... or anything, so long as it takes place in Fed Data Space! October - Halloween As always, we'll want a spooky, haunted kind of planet. November - Thanksgiving It will be hard to top the planet Freya wrote us for last year's Thanksgiving, but we'll just have to try. December - Christmas The last Christmas planet had a lethal mobile called the One Horse Open Slayer. What will we come up with next Christmas? And how can Santa possibly show his face in the game after his disgraceful behaviour last year? We need volunteers to write us promotional planets for some of these events. You must have already written your own planet, so we can see that you know how to do it! We'd also like some more ideas of events you'd like to see throughout the year, special occasions that you feel should be marked in some way, and so on. Now, before you all scream at once, we know you all want MORE FREE WEEKENDS! We hope to have several throughout the year, and if all goes to plan the next one will be in a few months. We are also going to start holding regular Fighting Schools. Tellurian held an impromptu school last Sunday afternoon, which everyone enjoyed - even the most peace-loving players were out in space blasting at each other. So we're going to make these a regular event. More news when we've got something set up. **>> OFF-THE-CUFF IMPROVISATION Sometimes the most fun in Fed is had at unplanned events. On the spur of the moment, someone might decide to have a game of hide-n-seek. Or a treasure hunt. Or a party. Or whatever! Spontaneous events, or events planned and run by the players themselves, can be just as much fun as things organised by Hazed or Bella, so to encourage this sort of jollity and frivolity, we're going to award a free weekend each month to the person who provides the most enjoyment to their fellow man, woman and thing. At the end of each month, we'll call for people to tell us about the event they most enjoyed during the month, and who organised it. The person who gets the most votes will get a free weekend's play in Fed, to take at a time of their choosing. We'll start this off in February, so if you have a great time at something in Fed, make a note of it, so you can tell us about it at the end of the month. **>> GO AND ORDER THE IDIOT'S GUIDE! A snip at a mere $15.95, this life enhacing Guide will make you the envy of all your friends. Type ORDER from any GEnie main menu. **>> A REMINDER... Would-be planet owners: please remember that you must now follow the standard numbering scheme for the three most important locations on your planet. The Orbit must be location 2; the Trading Exchange must be location 3; and the Landing Pad must be location 5. If you don't conform to this numbering scheme, Bella won't link your planet into the game until you change it. **>> NEW IN MPGAMES There's an interesting discussion going on in the MPGames BBS on page 1045 about what the term "dumping" means. Is it a sin to make as much money as you can trading, or should you be more considerate of your fellow planet- owner and consider their needs as well as your own? What do you think? Amigan has uploaded a walkthrough of the full version of Athens, together with the workbench files, to the MPGames library. There are two versions. File 3617 is packed up with LHA, and file 3618 with ZIP. **>> HAVE YOU ORDERED THE GUIDE YET? If not, why not? Type ORDER from any main GEnie menu to buy your very own, personal copy of the most amazing book in the history of history itself! **>> USEFUL INFORMATION FROM THE POST-BAG Here's a round-up of some of the explanations Bella's given out recently in answer to questions about why things don't work like people expect them to. When you offer a job to a Poor Person, the game assumes that you have already come to some agreement with them. As soon as you make the offer, the goods are removed from your warehouse and stacked up somewhere waiting for them to collect them. Should they reject your contract, you don't get the goods back - they get stolen by those thieving stevedores! If your factory seems to be outputting in odd amounts - not in multiples of 25 tons - it is probably because there is a shortage of labour on the planet. If the factory can't get a full complement of workthings, the amount it can produce is reduced proportionally. If planet owners put a job on the Transportation Central workboard, but it looks like less than the whole amount is up there, it's probably because someone with a small ship has already taken part of the load. Finally, don't assume that everyone knows how to solve the puzzles on player-planets. If you have a problem on a player-planet, you really do need to talk to the owner of the planet. Bella or Hazed won't be able to help you, and it's possible that no-one else on the game will know about it, either. **>> ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST It's a virus. It must be. A mind-virus, passed on by snogging, that makes Rich People die dead-dead. The latest to be infected is Barberousse, who snuffed it last week. In the rush to bring goods into his planet to complete his Duke builds, he was running a teleport-trading macro, which went wrong and killed him off. He's already back to Baron, and carrying on with his builds, but he's finding it tough going because although he's lost all the builds he did before, his labour force and production capability are reduced from the previous builds! He has the choice of having his planet put back down to Agricultural and doing it all over again, or making do with what he's got and paying a Duke to bump his production points back up again. Serves him right for dying, said hard-hearted Hazed! **>> MEGABOWL Redwing is determined to set up a Fed football team. We've no idea how he plans to organise the games, and the information we've seen so far leaves us completely baffled: but good luck to him! He's uploaded the rules into the MPGames library 5 - file 3619. Cat 13 Top 4 in the MPGames BBS discusses his plans. He's asked us to print the following information: Redwing's Flight is pleased and proud to announce the aquisition of the first FED football franchise. We are the FED FLYERS!!! Now, the world of organized sports crashes into FED at FULL SPEED!! THE TEAM IS FORMING NOW!!!! If you've got the talent, sign up and get a starting position! We are actively recruiting professional and semi-professional (and even amateur) players for all team positions. Salaries are commensurate with previous experience. We are an equal opportunity employer. Some positions already filled: Starting Quarterback --- Senator Freya! Head Cheerleader --- Marcia, Industrialist of Roissy! Head Equipment Inspector --- Senator Hazed! Starting Tight End --- Stalker! and in the Honorary Position of Chief Spectator --- Bella! Many positions remain to be filled, including Head Coach and all coaching staff, all remaining player positions, all Cheerleading staff, all support staff, all PR staff, all sales staff, and referees. Please submit a resume listing qualifications, desired positions, and salary requirements to Redwing (or send GEmail to K.SHANAHAN, who has graciously offered to assist). If you don't see a position you like, make one up! We're flexible! (All resumes become the property of Redwing's Flight and may be used in part or whole in promotional literature.) **>> QUITE THE BEST MANUAL FOR ANY GAME I'VE EVER SEEN So said Tony Bridges, writing in Popular Computing Weekly, about the Idiot's Guide to Federation. You too can own this wonderful book, for just $15.95. Type ORDER from any main GEnie menu. **>> SHURELY SHOME MISHTAKE! Mosquito caused Freya to have a heart attack a few days ago. It happened like this: Following her return from the dead, Mosquito's company was corrupted. Bella asked her not to do anything with the company; she would surgically remove it, and Mosquito could claim the money back from Freya. But Mosquito didn't read the message properly, and got hold of the wrong end of the stick. She breezed up to Freya and announced that Bella was going to remove everyone's companies, and Freya would have to reimburse them all! After Freya picked herself off the floor, she asked Mosquito to read her exactly what Bella had said. Mosquito got quite embarrassed when she re- read the message... **>> CAT FIGHT Gemini and Mosquito got into a knock-down, hair-pulling, nail-scratching, teeth-biting cat fight the other night, much to the delight of onlookers. It seems they were fighting over Blackadder's favors - he's married to Skeets, but has been seeing Gem on the side. We wonder if Tellurian and Blackadder will be the next to stage a WWF tournament in CDs! **>> TENSE, NERVOUS HEAD-ACHE? YOU NEED THE IDIOT'S GUIDE! Type ORDER to buy your Guide today and cure all known ills, for just $15.95. What are you waiting for? **>> THE HORROR, THE HORROR! Oxcart, Fed's sleaziest player, now has access to a teleporter! We can't believe he built it himself; he must have stolen it or something. But however he got it, he's hopping around the Galaxy frightening the children. He's still a virgin, though. **>> ANOTHER (YAWN) WEDDING As if we hadn't had enough marriage recently, Looney got married to Density last night. In a touching ceremony, Tellurian united the happy couple in wedded bliss. How sweet! **>> UNGRATEFUL WRETCH! A nasty ungrateful little Poor Person, who shall remain nameless for fear that everyone will seek him out and hunt him down like a dog for his appalling behaviour, managed to gamble away 20 meg and 1700 trader credits the other night. Freya took pity on him (and wanted to stop him whingeing and crying at his misfortune) so she gave him a stake of 10000 groats to start him off again. And was he grateful? No he wasn't! He hung around in space, targetted her, and tried to kill her. Actually, we'd love to know just how an Adventurer came by the sum of 20 meg in the first place. Gifting new players with such huge amounts doesn't help them or the game, and it really should stop. **>> HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE Buy them a copy of the Idiot's Guide to Federation as a present. They'll love your forever! Type ORDER. **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES There's been little movement of planets between duchies, so we'll go back to our old practice of only listing them out when something drastic happens. Gemini's planet Ssendmaerd (or however it's spelt!) is now an Industrial world. Regis' planet, Sherwood, was linked into the game early last week. It is at the same time very good, and very disappointing. Regis was keen to get his hands on a working exchange, so he has put in a planet with only 36 locations - a great shame, because what there is of Sherwood shows great promise. As the name suggests, it's a planet not entirely dissimilar to Sherwood Forest, home of the great Robin Hood and his Merry Men. We don't get to see Robin or his chums, but we can explore the village of Wickham, with the usual services clustered around the landing pad, including the Boar's Head Tavern. Leaving the main area there is only one path, which leads to Lord Regis' Keep. If you don't take care, you can find yourself trapped in a foul cell in the dungeon, although escape didn't present too many problems to our intrepid NewsDroid. We can only hope that Regis goes back and writes some more locations for Sherwood, because all the descriptions are extremely well written and invoke the atmosphere of Sherwood Forest. We'd love to see more! Blackadder's planet, Terra Nova, will be linked into the game early next week. This is one we have been eagerly awaiting, since his work on the Christmas planet, Humbug, was excellent. **>> SPYNET REVIEW There are lots of promotions to report this week, you've obviously all been busy climbing up the ranks and inflating the Senators' slush fund! The new Captains were Buzz, Barberousse (back from the dead), Density, Fehu, Garfield, Comicman, Snafu, Turbo, Computo, Raul and Pastima. The Adventurers were Barberousse, Garfield, Buzz, Dirtbiker, Snafu and Fehu. Barberousse and Steve joined the Traders Guild. Barberousse, Bason and Kedar were promoted to Merchant. For the second time running, both Barberousse and Mosquito solved the JP puzzle. Barberousse went on to make it back to GM, then Explorer, then Squire, then Thane, then Industrialist, then Technocrat, then Baron! Meanwhile, Paladin lost his position as Fed's Oldest JP when he did the GM puzzle - and lived! He became Fed's Youngest GM, and then Fed's Youngest Explorer. Gemini was promoted to Industrialist as her planet advanced. Barberousse, as we know, went dead-dead - see our earlier story. Finally, on a brighter note, Chainsaw played 1000 games. Well done Chainsaw! **>> HAVE YOU ORDERED YOUR GUIDE YET? The new Idiot's Guide is [crackle] for only $15.95 [whiiirrrr] [beeeeep] ORDER from any [boinggggg!!!!] [crackle crackle] [whiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrr] [**%%&&.B.A.N.G.&&%%**] Oh dear, the NewsDroid has just exploded! **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * a message to Hazed or Bella * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The Amiga version is in beta-test. The third edition of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation is now available, price $15.95. Type ORDER from any GEnie main menu and buy one. At least! Federation has several categories in the new MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). The MPGames RT also has a Federation library in the files area, Library 5. Library 18 holds the Federation News Archives. **>> BULLETIN ENDS