**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 94.04.10 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> EASTER PARADE Last weekend's Easter Parade was well attended and Harvey the Easter Bunny had great fun judging the entrants to the costume contest. The winner was Jim, who wore an outfit reminding us what Easter is really about. Honourable mentions went to Blackadder, for his rather sticky but delicious chocolate-covered clothes, and Clandestorm for her very attractive outfit. Dishonourable mentions to Tellurian for upsetting Harvey by dressing himself in bits of the Easter Bunny's relatives! Harvey has hopped back to his home on Cabbage now, but we're sure he'll be back next year. Thanks to Blackadder for writing the April Fool's planet, TackyYawn. It was an experience!! **>> UP-TO-DATE INSTRUCTIONS The instructions for Federation are divided into several parts. First, there's the Newbod Guide, which covers the ranks GroundHog to Trader, including all the information you need to get started and make your first groats in Fed DataSpace. You can download this file direct from the instruction menu, or it is file #96 in the Federation Official library on our main page - it's in library 14. File #97 in library 14 is the Intermediate Guide, covering the ranks Merchant to Explorer. This includes information on running a company, and desiging a planet. This file is the most up-to-date and supercedes anything in the MPGames libraries or BBS. Finally, there's the mythical Advanced Guide, which will cover the ranks Squire to Emperor, once we actually know about the final stages of the game! The information in the Newbod Guide and the Intermediate Guide, plus much more, is included in the printed version of the Idiot's Guide, available for $15.95 - just type ORDER from any GEnie main menu prompt. It's got hints and tips to help you get on in the game, sketch maps of the most important routes in the Solar System, including a space map, appendices with lots of facts and figures, pictures, cartoons, and a new joke! **>> THE BASE FACTS For new Dukes, here's the information that tells you how many detectors, marines and so on your base can support: Detectors: Unlimited numbers Cutters: Base efficiency/2 Destroyers: Base efficiency/3 Cruisers: Base efficiency/4 Marines: Base efficiency/2 Intelligence: Base efficiency/3 Personnel: Base efficiency/2 **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES Budwarp's new planet was linked into the game last week. Epini is a tropical resort, the perfect place for some rest and relaxation after a hard day's trading. Even the exchange is slow and laid-back, with none of the usual hustle and bustle found in commercial districts. A simple bar off the spaceport provides little in the way of luxury, but has ample food and drink available. From the landing pad, you can go to two observation rooms built under the ocean, with transparent walls that let you gaze out at the coral reef and at the undersea life of Epini's oceans. Heading south from the landing pad, the visit first encounters the friendly native service that makes this resort such a joy to visit. A shady tree provides the ideal place to relax out of the heat of the sun, before taking a walk on the beach. For those that prefer their holidays a little more lively, there's a nightclub playing loud music with a rather unexpected singer. The sophisticated traveller will want to visit the Special Activities area, where many different tastes are catered for. This can be followed by a visit to the local moviehouse, where you may be surprised by the film that's showing! Budwarp has captured the mood of a tropical island paradise very well on his planet. It's a fun place to explore. Epini has joined Barberousse's Duchy of Source. Last week, we reported briefly on Mosquito's new planet, Kama in the system Sutra. Here's our full report. As the name suggests, Kama is a planet dominated by a temple devoted to the worship of love. A pastoral planet, the landing pad and the main village attached to it are situated in a valley surrounded by mountains. Conditions are primitive, with water obtained from a well rather than piped directly to the local houses. The local hostelry provides comfort as well as refreshment, affording a magnificent view over the mountain ranges - with a glimpse of the local wildlife wafting on the wind. A bazaar offers everything you could possibly want, including blessings from the local priests of St. Pegasus. The monastery of St. Pegasus is at present not open to visitors, but this may change in the future. Following the path south of the village, you find the temple that seems to control this planet. Dedicated to the art of love, the building is covered with detailed carvings to delight the eyes of all but the most prudish. Inside, students learn many skills, and comfortable rooms are put aside for practice. The Pool of Reflection lets you soak away stress and cares, while listening to peaceful music. Leaving the temple and returning to the village, to the north there stands a forbidding tower. There are no apparent entrances and it's rumoured that the tower is only accessible to Senators. We managed to sneak a newsdroid in but it was discovered and destroyed before it could tell us what it found therein. Further beyond the tower lies a strange mist. Walking through the mist seems to transport you to another world... one inhabited by elves. Most of this area is a delight to behold, but we must caution our readers to avoid the Elven Gifte Shoppe unless they wish their senses to be assaulted by many items of extreme bad taste! Kama's location descriptions are beautifully written, and the planet is a joy to explore. Mosquito has done a very good job. Silk's planet, Fortymile, is now a mining world and it will be going mini tomorrow. **>> WITH MANY A CUNNING PLAN... FED players, veterans and newbods alike, were shocked, horrified and terribly amused when they entered FED space and found Blackadder, recent Thane of Terranova, hauling jobs as a CAPTAIN. Apparently, the Thane found himself a participant in FED's second favorite pastime: becoming dead-dead. Reactions ranged from expressions of sympathy, to offers to help, to exclamations of "We can spy him and Mosquito now!", alluding to the nocturnal marital escapades of the happy couple (available soon on videocassette at the Lackluster Video store nearest you). As of this writing, Blackadder has been burning a hot trail back up the ranks, thanks to the help of friends and loved ones, plus, an unconfirmed rumor goes, the fact that Mosquito is withholding "quality marital benefits" until he's back to a respectable rank. Talk about incentive! This also probably explains why Mosquito has been giving BA a ton of work, plus as many stat items she can find or sweet-talk FED guys into giving her. Speculation is rampant as to the cause of BA's death. The most popular theories: 1. BA was accidentally killed by his overly enthusiastic wife during certain activities. Accounts say that he died with a VERY big smile on his face. 2. Similar to #1, except that "the planet moved", causing a bookcase to fall on Blackadder, killing him instantly. 3. Enraged agents of PITA (People for the Inane Treatment of Animals...and they make a fine bread, as well!) found bits of Easterbunny in their Newbod King burgers on TackyYawn, and decided to kill Blackadder (the planet's designer) in order to show him that all life is precious. 4. Same as 3, except that the esteemed Senator Hazed, fuming over a fake TB planted on TackyYawn and ascribed to her, killed BA in a fit of irritation. The fake TB was responsible for a pack of 23 love-starved FED guys converging on the lovely Hazed, who had no choice but to beat them severely with a cricket bat. Unfortunately, some appeared to enjoy it, and stuck around for more (names supplied upon request). 5. Even though the Blackadder-Gemini affair is completely over and all is back to "normal", Senator Tellurian, the spouse of Lady Gemini, just couldn't resist getting in the "last word", as it were, and shot BA out of the sky during a ginger brandy run. This newsdroid was unable to get a clear answer out of the Senator due to the maniacal laughter that ensued when the question was posed to him. 6. It is all part of a far-reaching conspiracy and is, indeed a "Very Cunning Plan" engineered by BA himself. This reporter can only speculate what's so cunning about killing yourself. Of course, none of the theories explains why he wasn't insured, since you have to die TWICE in order to go D-D. Perhaps two of the above theories are in fact correct. We can only speculate. In any event, Blackadder is almost an Explorer and has hinted that while TerraNova is gone forever, its twin, TerraIncognita, is on the verge of discovery. **>> THE MOTHER OF ALL PUZZLES Fed DataSpace was shocked with the announcement of a 150 meg bonus to the first person who solves Tellurain's puzzle on Neemeesis, in the system Bree, scheduled to debut in Fed sometime this week. Furthermore, Tell promises ample rewards to other players smart enough to decode this test to end all tests. "I wanted to have fun creating the puzzle, and at the same time offer an incentive for other players to attempt to solve it. I'm not foolish enough to believe that anybody is actually smart enough to match wits with myself, so I'm not worried about losing too much money," Tellurain confided to an unspecified source. In the all-too-likely event that nobody solves his puzzle, Tell has decided to give 100 megs to the person coming closest. If the denizens of Fed space surprise Tell, producing multiple winners, he plans to reward all of those successful ones. All of the geniuses will share in a bounty of 150 megs. If only one person is successful, he'll get the entire bounty, plus the 150 bonus, to himself, for an astonishing 300 megs. If 10 people solve the puzzle, the first will get 165 megs, and the other 9 will each receive 15 megs. All participants should sendmail TELLURAIN their best guesses to the puzzle. The contest will be open until right before the planet goes mini, at which time Tell will make would-be puzzle solvers feel really foolish by showing them the correct answer. A word of warning, though, to seekers of fame and fortune. Tellurain was recently heard gloating that he expects his insurance office to more than cover any losses he must pay successful puzzle solvers. "They'll be dropping like flies," he laughed. Tellurain has graciously offered to pay all insurance premiums for players under the rank of Squire who die on Neemeesis when he is online. **>> THE WAITING IS OVER The blessed event has finally occured. Emmi gave birth to a red-headed, hazel-eyed baby girl Saturday afternoon in the hospital on Eire. The baby is named Lydia and she wieghs 8lbs, 8 oz. and is 20 inches. Maxwell and Sean paced counterpoint in the hospital waiting room until Sean shoved Maxwell through the delivery room doors to see what was up. This reporter thinks that Sean and Lydia both having hazel eyes is purely coincindental, and Sean's red beard has nothing to do with the child's hair color. This reporter has also heard a rumour that Sean bet 5 meg on him being the father of the baby, but does not think such rubbish is worth reporting. Emmi has already asked Sean, Patch, and Budwarp to be co-godparents. Apparently she thinks her daughter may need some protection. Emmi has already warned Rezrov her daughter will never be old enough for him. Emmi was out and about showing off her daughter to all Saturday night. Lydia already has Maxwell wrapped around her tiny little pinky, as he jumps at her every noise. Tellurian will most likely be performing one of his famous baptisms on the baby in the near future. Keep your eyes and ears open, as one of his baptisms is always a most popular social event. The News wishes to congratulation Emmi and Se.., Maxwell on the birth of their beautiful baby daughter and wish the baby the blessings of St. Pegasus. **>> WEDDING BELLS Wedding Bells will be ringing in Federation Space in the near future. Sean and Siobhan became engaged recently. So apparently Sean has slightly careless with her ring and if you wander around the house or beach on Eire her Diamond_ring may well be found lying around. One pundit has observed that if Emmi and Maxwell do not tie the knot soon, Sean will not be able to be Emmi's Maid of Honor, he will have to be her Matron of Honor. Another has observed that Siobhan has not seen Emmi's baby yet, and perhaps wedding bells will not be ringing, but Sean's ears may be. The exact date has not been set, but they are planning on getting married sometime late this month. **>> SNIPPETS Clandestorm made a public avowal of her virginity yesterday, inspiring Fed's male population to frenzied heights in their attempts to remedy her condition as soon as possible. Diesel has recently had to shelve plans to branch out her enterprises. She wanted to launch a new perfume onto the market, called Eau de Diesel, but had to call things off when she discovered that water and oil just don't mix. The match of the century may well be taking place soon in Sol space. Two of the most powerful and skilled fighters Fed has ever seen, Krell and Tellurian, plan a challenge match to see who really is the best. We'll be reporting on this match (from the safety of a large concrete bunker). **>> SPYNET REVIEW Congratulations to everyone who advanced during the week. The new Captains are Renard, Flipper, Shogun, Slider, Lonewolf, Dyla, Taran, Ishmee, Baker, Blackadder (back from the dead), Athena and Static. The following became Adventurers or Adventureuses: Renard, Scott, Locutus, Marko, Blackadder, Djet, Steelrat, Jamesjoyce, Makaldar and Ishmee. Renard, Deric, Blackadder, Locutus and Djet all joined the Traders Guild. The new Merchants were Siobhan, Turbo, Brandy, Scrooge, Blackadder, Renard and Briefcase. Gregan, Drspock, Ishmee and Blackadder all solved the awesome JP puzzle. Blackadder went on to solve the fiendish GM puzzle and then make Explorer. All in just a few days! Budwarp became a Squire when his new planet, Epini, was linked. Silk was promoted to Thane when his planet advanced to mining. Finally, Maxwell played 1000 games - and Nightstalker played a massive 3000 games! **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or Bella in the game * a message to Hazed * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC and Amiga. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation official libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The third edition of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation is now available, price $15.95. Type ORDER from any GEnie main menu and buy one. Or more! Federation has several categories in the MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). The MPGames RT has a Federation player library in the files area, Lib 5. **>> BULLETIN ENDS