**>> SPYNET BULLETIN 
 **>> EARTHDATE 94.06.19 
 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE 
 
 **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids 
 **>> <SEND HAZED> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! 
 
 
 **>> BACK TO (AB)NORMALITY 
 
Phew! Another free weekend is over, and you can all start catching up on
missed sleep. We hope you all enjoyed yourselves last weekend. Welcome to
new players who tried the game out while it was free. Remember, if you have
any questions or comments about the game, contact us - by GEmail (FEDII.2,
or use the "Mail About Federation" option on our main menu) - by sendmail
(Hazed) or by grabbing us in the game (well, not literally... you know what
we mean!) 
 
Please, take the time to read the game instructions. The full game manual
is split into three parts, covering different ranks in the game. To start
with, you need the Newbod's Guide to Federation; you can download this from
the Instructions menu, or from the Fed Official Library on page 220 where
it is file #96. It covers the ranks from GroundHog to Trader. 
 
The middle third of the game is covered by the Intermediate Guide to
Federation, file #97 in the library. This tells you about the ranks
Merchant to Explorer. 
 
The final stages of the game are in the Advanced Guide to Federation -
which is now available in the library, file #108. It has information for
those who are Squires to Senators. 
 
You can buy a printed copy of the manual, which covers the material in the
Newbod and Intermediate Guides and has many hints and tips, pictures,
cartoons, useful figures, maps, and a different joke! It costs $15.95 and
you can get it by typing ORDER from any main GEnie menu. 
 
 
 **>> A MESSAGE FROM OUR GLORIOUS LEADERENE 
 
Oh dear. Oh deary deary us. Our beloved Editrix Hazed (gulp!) has given us
this piece to print in the news. Oh dear!! 
 
     Hello darlings, 
 
     As you know, Bella is away for a few weeks and while she is gone, she
has left me in charge of the game. Well, I've been taking the opportunity
to examine the way things work around here, and I must say I am not happy.
Not happy at all. 
 
     Have you seen the state of some of your ships? To say they were untidy
would be an understatement. Some of them have obviously never seen the
services of a good cleaning droid since the day they were commissioned. 
 
     And I don't think a diet of pizza and ale is very good for you. As for
some of the other concoctions I see you ordering up from obliging
waitdroids, it's enough to turn my stomach! How you expect to work hard and
play hard on such inadequate nutrition is beyond me. 
 
     So, while I am at the helm of Fed DataSpace, I shall do my best to
improve it, make it a happier place, a healthier place, and a better place.
I am declaring a one week amnesty, during which time I expect you to pull
up your socks (or equivalent) and get your act together. I will run a taut
ship, and want everything to be ship-shape and bristol fashion. 
 
     Next weekend I shall conduct an inspection, and I want to see clean
ships, clean fingernails, proper food, and no talking after lights out. 
 
     Otherwise, I shall have to take measures to enforce my wishes. 
 
          Hazed, Senator of Scratchwood 
          Demi-Goddess of Fed DataSpace 
          Temporary Acting Goddess 
 
 
 **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES 
 
Two new planets, and a clump of planet promotions, have changed the trading
patterns of the Galaxy again. 
 
The new worlds are Sharp's Acme and Brawn's Outpost - see our reports
below. Sharp has allied himself with Barberousse's Source, and Brawn has
joined Looney's Insanity. 
 
Budwarp's Epini has promoted to Mining. Dirge's Tempest and Tantras'
Vertigo are now Industrial worlds. Gemini's Aytes has advanced to Leisure. 
 
Here's what the duchies look like, from a trader's point of view: 
 
The only Independent world is Arena... which is a dead loss for Traders. 
 
Plantking's Canna has Rtyui (tech) and Paradigm (mining). Customs are 5%,
with no favored planet or embargo. 
 
Looney's Insanity has Dunnottar (industrial), Links (leisure), Mycenae
(leisure), Surf (agri) and Outpost (agri). Customs are 10%, with no favored
planet or embargo. 
 
Marcia's Roissy has Mirai (industrial), Ulster (agri) and Utopia (agri).
Customs are 7% and Marcia has granted a favored rate of 2% to the duchy of
Nightfall. No embargo. 
 
Ramius' Ausland has Dawn (tech), Aytes (leisure), Vertigo (industrial),
Sutra (mining), Qushmarrah (industrialial), Hyperion (agri) and Pagrah
(mining). Customs are 7% but Nightfall goods are charged a whopping great
30%. No embargo. 
 
Nightstalker's Nightfall has Valaria (tech), Nautilus (industrial), Seppuku
(tech) and Chaos (agri). Customs are 7%, and Roissy has a favored rate of
2%. No embargo. 
 
Barberousse's Source has Addis (mining), Fortymile (mining), Eire (mining),
Epini (mining), Bree (agri), Skan (agri) and Acem (mining). Customs are 10%
but Nightfall goods attract a humungous 50% import duty. No embargo. 
 
The most balanced duchy is Looney's Insanity. It has a spread of planets
covering all economic levels, which means traders will be able to hop from
one planet to another without leaving the duchy and attracting import
duties. Although Source has a lot of planets, they are all agricultural or
mining worlds, so trading within the duchy is limited. 
 
 
 **>> THE SHARP END 
 
Sharp's planet, Acme, will come as no surprise to those who know him. It's
a world where cartoon characters make cartoon films, and as such most of
the planet is taken up by film studios. 
 
As soon as we got out of our ship, we realised that this was going to be an
experience! We'd landed in one of the infamous ACME Donut Holes, and poking
our heads down into the hole it seemed to lead... somewhere... but we
weren't brave enough to find out where. 
 
The usual services are scattered around the landing pad. To the north is a
courtyard, where the plants and the toons try to outdo each other for
wierdness. The Anvil Bar is north again, complete with its very own food
fight room with food-resistant wallpaper. (A very good idea - we wonder if
you can make clothes out of it?) 
 
The hospital is doing a roaring trade - well, cartoon characters get
injured very easily. The exchange, east of the landing pad, is run by the
ACME Shopping Network, and very efficient it is too! 
 
Heading south-east from the pad, we came to the studio area. Here many
different toons were being filmed. We also visited the residential complex
and spent some time under Sharp's sheets. Ooooh! 
 
Acme is a fun planet. Visit it. 
 
 
 **>> INSIDE OUTPOST 
 
Brawn's Outpost has been a long time in the making - he started work on the
planet several years ago! Prior to his promotion he was the oldest
Explorer, and he's still flying a Gotham ship. But it was worth the wait. A
lot of thought has gone into the history of the system, and you can read
about it in several messages in Cat 14 of the MPGames BBS. 
 
Briefly, Outpost is a research station that has been built to study a black
hole. The gravitational anomalies produce some very strange effects in the
area which scientists are keen to understand. The station is also the
gateway to other dimensions. 
 
The space area around the station is dangerous, and careless navigation
leads you into the black hole itself - not a good place to be! There's also
the risk of encountering Tweety, a giant... canary! Well we said there are
some strange things in this system. 
 
Docking at the station itself, we found that it is laid out in the shape of
a triangle with the docking port in the centre. Many of the passageways on
the station give views of the starry sky outside... and some rather strange
objects floating near the station. 
 
The northernmost tip of the triangular station has a portal to other
worlds, but strict rules make sure you don't smuggling from one dimension
to another. If you choose to go through the portal, you find yourself in
another place... a great marble hall with magnificent columns and carvings.

 
We'll leave you to discover what else can be found on Outpost. It's yet
another excellent planet. There's a puzzle to be solved, and it is a very
different idea. Well done Brawn! 
 
 
 **>> STICK IT UP YOUR JUNTA! 
 
A strange expedition to the uncharted planet Junta was undertaken on
Saturday. The landing team was comprised of Brawn, Tantras, Dirge, Topper,
Alucard, Bella, and Paladin. Freya and a heretofore unknown female
(Apparently linked to Brawn) provided pleasant distractions (like food and
beer and scenery). 
 
The day began nicely enough, with the landing party all trying to take
control of the planet, which strongly resembled a modern-day banana
republic. (No, not a clothing store you git!) But soon, strange things
started to occur! Cries of "Bite Me Hard" were heard drifting across the
negotiations table, which pleased Alucard no end. 
 
Looking resplendant in his full Flak Jacket and camo'ed Helmet, Topper took
on, for a short time, the daunting role of Minister Of Internal Security.
This quickly turned to Infernal Insecurity, as each time a coup was
attempted, another freedom fighter would simply bribe Topper's troops away
from him. (May he doesn't pay them enough.) 
 
Our beloved (what am I saying???!) El Presidente Dirge was being constantly
inundated with charges of incompetence, not to mention keeping a huge slush
fund! So, he was assassinated while trying to make love to his mistress.
But this newsdroid reports hearing only muttered apologies and statements
like, "I SWEAR it's never happened before!" 
 
It became apparent that cooler heads must prevail, so the party turned to
the coolest head in the room, Our Fearless Leader, Bella!  Bella, Brawn,
Alucard and Paladin quickly formed a voting block, and sent both Topper and
Dirge to the firing squad. Good thing they were insured! 
 
Most of the time Tantras spent griping about the new Soundgarden album, but
hey, someone has to do it! Actually, Tantras' expertise with not committing
till the last second, came in very handy. (Sorry ladies, I hear that most
everything with Tantras is measured in seconds.) 
 
Through the cigar-smoke haze, it was clear that Alucard truly had to die.
His bad puns and constant ca-ca stirring were making it so bad, that even
Bella went into a self-imposed exile, and was killed upon returning by
again Minister of Infernal Insecurity Topper. 
 
The Gentlemen of the Day Awards must have gone to Paladin and Brawn, two
men who hardly ever stabbed their fellow man in the back. (Yeah, right,
break out the hip-waders folks!) 
 
All in all a great (albeit bloody) time was had by all, and we look forward
to further expeditions to this uncharted, but HIGHLY entertaining 
planet. 
 
 
 **>> DEATH, WHERE IS THY STING? 
 
In Fed, the sting you get from death is usually embarassment rather than
anything else, provided you have insurance. Unfortunately, that's something
Azure forgot!  
 
She was doing her good deed for the day, helping Byterunner through the
nasty GM puzzle, and she died. No big deal, except that in her concern to
get back and continue helping she neglected to reinsure. Whoops! 
 
As soon as she set foot on Snark she realised what she'd done. She also
realised there was no way she could leave Snark without dying - there was
no way back to safety. She'd had it! 
 
Determined that her sacrifice would not be in vain, she made sure that
Byterunner knew what he was doing and would make it out safely, before she
was burnt to a crisp by the asteroid blowing up. 
 
With the help of her many friends she made it back to GM in just twelve
hours - and this was in spite of the problems the game was having at the
time! Next day she returned to her previous rank of Explorer. 
 
Azure has asked us to extend her thanks and gratitude to all who helped in
any way. She doesn't want to miss any names, but you know who you are, and
it is appreciated immensely. 
 
Let's hope this unfortunate incident doesn't put Azure off helping people
with puzzles in the future! 
 
 
 **>> LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER? 
 
Watch out Fed! It seems that Emmi's daughter Lydia has decided that she
wants to join her mum in space. She is a currently a captain and has 
flagged on her daddy's planet, Dawn. Much to the relief of the rest of
Federation, this means the precocious toddler can not leave the Dawn
system. She claims that her 'Unca Sean' taught her to fly, and seems to be
fascinated by the fire button on her ship the SarahCurran's twin lasers.
Lydia's clothes description is, aptly, 'Long red hair and hazel eyes, you 
decide you need a drink when you realize whose daughter this toddler is.' 
 
 
 **>> HELL HATH NO FURY... 
 
A poor person almost found out the extreme hazards of REJECTing a contract
from a rich person. Devon rejected a job offered by Sean last Sunday and
raised Sean's irish. Sean flew to just southeast of Titan and waited in
ambush. In his anger, Sean fired his twin lasers at Devon while he flew by.
Luckily for Devon, Sean was spying on him and fired when he was one
location away, and his TL's did not recharge in time to fire while he was
there. 
 
This story has a happy ending, as Sean cooled off slightly and met Devon on
Earth and gave him a good tongue-lashing. After Devon paid for his losses,
the two Irishmen have been seen together in many of Fed's pubs drinking
Irish Stout and Eire Leanne. 
 
 
 **>> GOSSIP, SCANDAL, LIES AND ALL THAT GOOD STUFF 
 
This is the part we newsdroids like the best, as we turn off our
discrimination circuits, boot up without the legal libel-checking overrides
in place, and make up some filthy lies for your entertainment! 
 
Freya and Mira have made up, after their recent catfight. They've decided
to cooperate and have instituted a rota system to ensure they both get a
fair amount of Topper's time. Still no word from the moon on how the
Godfather feels about his bit of stuff seeing another man... but we expect
Topper to wake up one morning very soon and find a winged horse's head in
his bed! 
 
You'd think he would be flattered at having two women fighting for his
affections, but poor Topper is very disgruntled at the moment. He
complained to us, in confidence, that none of the Fed ladies will play with
him any more! Every time he propositions someone, they run screaming and
hide in a dark corner where he can't find them. Quite how he has ended up
with a reputation that scares even such brazen hussies as Gemini we have no
idea, and he claims to be ignorant too. Come on ladies, tell us why you're
scared of him! Or maybe they are scared of incurring either Mira or Freya's
wrath... 
 
Budwarp obviously has designs on Dierdre. Why else would he have been so
over-solicitous to her during her recent JP attempt? He was going out of
his way to help her, and kept calling her "love". But it didn't seem to get
him anywhere, because after she made it Dierdre was celebrating her
promotion by rolling around with Shadow. Mind you, he obviously had an
ulterior motive, because he kept trying to pump her for hints on the
puzzle, as well as pumping her... erm... never mind. 
 
One propositioned Gemini but was turned down. We weren't surprised at that,
but the excuse she used made us raise an eyebrow (or equivalent)... she
said she couldn't dally with him because her husband would get mad. Well,
that's never seemed to stop her before! 
 
We have information here about Looney's experience with a roto-rooter man
and a seltzer-tab enema. No. No. Even without our discrimination circuits,
we don't think we want to touch that story! 
 
 
 **>> SPYNET REVIEW 
 
This review contains the tail end of the promotions from the free weekend,
hence the enormous number of low level advancements. Well done to everyone!

 
The Captains were Icepirate (welcome back), Thumper, Firesong, Azure (back
from the dead), Kelfine, Tizin, Alieno, Djmayhem, Gortek, Hippychick,
Ariadnea, Catt, Foureyes, Data (twice), Harrymud, Lydia, Zoe and Chinagirl.

 
The new Adventurers were Icepirate, Marlboroman, Beethoven, Harold,
Djmayhem, Sirius, Devon, Firesong, Catt, Data (twice), Azure, Zona and
Galena. 
 
The Traders Guild admitted One, Firestorm, Ruk, Azure, Icepirate,
Tellurani, Djmayhem, Starstruck and Harold. 
 
Azure, One, Djmayhem and Sharla made it to Merchant. 
 
Azure and Dierdre both solved the awesome JP puzzle. 
 
The fiendish GM puzzle was cracked by Byterunner and Azure. They both went
on to become Explorers. 
 
Planet promotions are like buses; you can go weeks without seeing any then
a whole load turn up at once. This week Sharp and Brawn became Squires as
their new planets were linked in; Dirge and Budwarp advanced their planets
and became Thanes; Dirge pushed on to Industrialist, as did Tantras; and
Gemini became a TechnocRat. 
 
There were a larger number of deaths than usual. Explorer Azure died while
helping someone with the GM puzzle - see our earlier story. 
 
Captain Spaceyii snuffed it after causing havoc in the space lanes during
the free weekend. 
 
The hazardous Bree system claimed three more victims: JP Wolfman,
Adventurer Razor and Captain Data. No sooner had Data started again than he
died again, this time in Sol! Obviously his circuits went haywire and
short-circuited his brain. 
 
Finally, Trader Trill suicided for reasons unknown, leaving all her money
to charity. 
 
 
 **>> CONTACTS 
 
The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so
you don't have to read it if you already know it. 
 
In the event of a problem or question, you can: 
 
 * talk to Hazed, Bella, Emmi, Freya, Tellurian or Tellurain in the game 
 
 * <SEND> a message to Hazed 
 
 * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu
 
A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC and
Amiga. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation official
libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). 
 
The third edition of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation
is now available, price $15.95. Type ORDER from any GEnie main menu and buy
one. Or more! 
 
Federation has several categories in the MPGames RT. To get there, type
M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information,
instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and
discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail
ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the
Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). 
 
The MPGames RT has a Federation player library in the files area, Lib 5. 
 
 
 **>> BULLETIN ENDS