**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 94.07.24 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> A GLIMPSE INTO THE FUTURE... Shock news! Our precognition-droid tells us that the Galactic Administration's fascist bully-boy death-squads will descend on Samantha's bar on Castillo early this week and smash the place up, in the process breaking beyond repair the spy-shield that makes the place so popular for lovers' trysts, paranoid plotters, and rampant gossip-mongers. Their planned action may possibly have something to do with the ongoing rumours that Hazed is continuing her plot to overthrow Our Illustrious Leader, Bella. We've also heard rumours that the deal Surfer did with Bella to enable him to get the only spy-proof room on a player-planet included a clause that Sam's would be forcibly shut down! Whatever the reason, it will make the player-planet spy-proof room all the more valuable. **>> GALACTIC POSTAL WORKTHINGS STRIKE! Looking further ahead into the murky mists of the future, our precognition droid tells us that the Galactic Postal Service will be refusing the demands of the Postal Workthings for more pay and less work. This will precipitate a one-hour strike by the Workthings, and during their picketting the sendmail file will be deleted - whether accidentally in the pushing and shoving, or deliberately as an act of sabotage, the crystal ball doesn't show. This accident (or sabotage) will happen during the day on Monday August 1. At that time, any uncollected sendmail will vanish into the bit-bucket, never to be retrieved. So if you are sending important messages this week, make sure the recipient is going to be around to collect them before they vaporise! **>> A FEW REMINDERS Remember to keep your password secure! You wouldn't want someone else to kill off your Fed persona for you, would you? It has happened, so make sure no-one else knows your password. If you send copies of script or macro files to other players, check first that you don't have a log-on script in it that shows your password. Newbods: if you get tired of doing jobs hour after hour, day after day, remember that you can get Trader Points by correctly matching up objects and mobiles. You'll get good groats for it, too! Puzzlers: please remember before you do the JP puzzle to warn people that you are doing it, and ask them to clear the ruins. Check that no innocent bystanders could get killed if you get the puzzle wrong. Someone might be looking for a stat item, unaware that you are about to blow the walls down around their ears, and they won't be very pleased. **>> SENATE NEWS A quorum of the Senate recently ruled that Amigan be made Attendant of the Senatorial Loo. He was presented with a gold-plated brush and a bottle of bleach, and told to get to work! **>> SERIOUS SENATE NEWS The Senate held a tribunal during the week to discuss DJmayhem's claim for reinstatement after his death last weekend. He went dead-dead trying to solve the puzzle on Bree before the planet converted to mini, and his claim was that he did -*not*- forget to reinsure before his final death. He provided the Senate with a capture showing the events leading up to his death; Hazed provided the relevant portions from the game log. After hearing the evidence, the Senate decided that Djmayhem should not be reinstated. A last-minute addition to the court lists saw the Senate also discussing Gortek's death on Tempest. He, too, claimed that there was an irregularity about his demise and asked for reinstatement. Gortek's request was also denied. We apologise for the fact that this report does not give a detailed account of the arguments for and against these cases, the brilliant rhetoric of the prosecution and defending counsel, the stern but fair questions by the Senatorial judges... but the court scribe (Tellurian) has failed to provide the transcript of the session! We understand the Senate may be asked to debate what punishment he should receive. That's if Hazed doesn't decide to administer chastisement in person... **>> THE FEDDIES This is a reminder that the nominations are now open for the Feddies - the Fed DataSpace awards for the best, the worst, the highest, the longest, the steamiest... and so on. Last week's news printed all the categories that are open for nominations, but we are sure the organisers won't mind if you make up a few new categories yourselves. (Largest green bottom, perhaps?) Send your nominations by GEmail to R.HOFFMASTER, or by sendmail to Alucard, or use the "Feedback to Federation" option on the Fed page and Hazed will forward them to the right place. The nominations close on August 6. Isn't it exciting? **>> MARRIED - AT LAST! After possibly the longest engagement in Fed history, which looked like it was to be called off recently, Emmi and Maxwell finally tied the knot during the week. Their wedding was also the occasion of a reconciliation between the feuding Vile and ne Galdur families, with the wedding presided over by Tellurian - and Tellurain changing his sex and putting on a frilly frock for the occasion, so he/she could be a flower girl! It was something of a mag-gun wedding... all eyes and trigger-fingers were on Maxwell, just in case he failed to say "I Do" after so many months of stalling. But the wedding went without a hitch, and there were no objectors (except 'Rain, who simply wanted to know here his/her potty was). **>> ABANDONED! On a sadder note, poor Mara and her child Noel have had to call in the lawyers. They are suing Fletcher for failing to marry Mara as promised, failing to be a good father to Noel as promised, abandoning the poor single parent and her daughter, and even taking away their home by spinning the planet Pagrah out of the game! Their brief, Altasren, is seeking actual damages of 50 meg and punitive damages of a whopping 2 gig! No date has been set for the trial. Perhaps they will decide to settle out of court. **>> QUOTES OF THE WEEK From Topper, during a heavy session of channel-surfing: "I want a picture- in-picture option on my spy-beam!" From an unknown female, when solicited by Tellurain for immoral purposes: "If you were the only boy-being in the world, and I were the only girl- being... I'd get through a lot of batteries!" From a Rich Person, after a Poor Person died: "No, I said 2 south ON Mercury!" From Cryptosporidium to a newbod: "Don't trust Tellurain!" Sound advice, except that one should never trust anything Crypto says, so that means 'Rain must be trustworthy, which we know can't be true... oh dear! **>> THE DISAPPEARANCE OF... Some concern has been expressed about the disappearance of Freya from Fed DataSpace. She's hardly been seen, and when she does appear it is only for a few moments before she rushes off again in a distracted mood. We sent a newsdroid to follow her, to find out just what she is up to. Sadly, there was no scandal, no dirt to dig up, the explanation was fairly boring. She's been commissioned by the Galactic Administration to plan the decor of the Emperor's Throne Room, which will one day be built somewhere on Earth, and she has thrown herself into the job whole-heartedly, researching just which shade and pattern of Laura Ashley fabric would be best for the wallpaper. It all sounds very ghastly. No doubt the first Emperor, whoever he, she or it is, will rip it all out and paint it in the colours of their choice! **>> GET TOGETHER Blackadder is organising a get-together for all Fedders who are going to GenCon in August (being held in Milwaukee). The plan is for a bash of some kind on August 20 at 8.00pm. For more information, drop sendmail to Blackadder or send GEmail to JT. **>> DEATH BY MAG-GUN! Budwarp may possibly be the first planet-owner to be killed by mag-gun! Cryptosporidium, being its usual obnoxious self, took a pot-shot at Bud and took off 2 or maybe 4 points from his hull - then Pegasus charged in, as is his wont, and finished the job off! Who'd have thought such a wimpy little weapon could be so effective? **>> MINIs AND MICROs Mira's new planet, Genera, was linked into the game during the week. With great economy, she provided a mini planet immediately, rather than having to convert on her promotion to Thane. There are four other new mini planets: Tellurain's Bree, Chance's Chaos, Talisan's Shelter and Blackadder's TerraIncognita. In the past, mini planets were bland and neutral; but these days people are being creative and interesting even in six locations (or a few more if they ask Bella for special dispensation) so it is definitely worth you taking a look at the new mini planets. Don't forget that the mini-Surf, which went in a few weeks ago, has been especially written by our beloved Editrix, Hazed. Some planet owners still offer rewards for their mini planets: Blackadder is offering 25 meg to the first person that finds a Philosopher's Stone on the planet. And we received the following press release from Tellurain... **>> NEEMEESIS DEVOURED BY SPUDERINI In a shocking series of events, Spuderini first ate her father, Tantras. After disappearing for a few weeks, she was finally found and returned to Neemeesis, owned by her father Rain. Unfortunately, Rain was so busy with official Church duties that he forgot to leave food for her. She took matters in her own jaws, to to speak, and ate most of the planet, reducing it from 80 locations down to a mere 10. Among the casualties were Peggy, Monty, Assassin, and the ever fun-loving Glurg. Rain is deeply shocked by this tragedy and is in mourning for all of Fed's great loss. In between sobs of sorrow, he confirmed that three players did indeed solve Bree's deadly mystery. Explorer Blackadder was the first, followed by Squire Brawn. Captain Dj (nee Journeyman Djmayhem), narrowly beat Spuderoni's path of terror, as he solved the puzzle within hours of the planet's demise. As had been promised, a purse of 300 meg was divided among these three. Records filed with the Federation Reveneue Service show that agents will be asking BA about his 150 meg gain, Brawn about his 125 meg bounty, and Dj about his 25 meg purse. Trying to maintain a brave composure through all of this, the Bloody Baron has declared he will pay 50 megs to the first person to solve the puzzle on what remains of Neemeesis. The rumor mill says that the puzzle is almost impossible to solve unless the adventurer first finds the two hidden rooms. There are allegedly a total of 10 locations, but we've received conflicting reports from our sources. **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES The movers and groovers... Starship, an Independent world, has spun out. The other Independent worlds, Dawn and Pagrah, have joined up with Source and Links respectively. This leaves no Independent player-planets. Mira's new planet, Genera, has become a member of Looney's Insanity. Sean has moved Eire from Barberousse's Source to Riccardo's Links. Tellurain's Bree has also moved from Source - it's gone to Gemini's Ssendmaerd. Talisan's Shelter advanced to mining level, and Silk's Fortymile became an Industrial world. **>> SPYNET REVIEW It's been another busy week in Fed DataSpace, with lots of lower level promotions. Congratulations to everyone, low or high, who advanced themselves. The new Captains were Jonathan (three times!), Dj, Darrian, Sabaton, Gortekii, Gortek (back from the dead), Djmayhem (also back from the dead), Fred, Ladyskyhawk, Cheri, Toril and Rg. Hopper, Sabaton, Djmayhem, Toril, Jonathan, Darrian, Gortek, Cheri and Erica were promoted to Adventurer or -euse. The Traders Guild has new members in Janel, Hopper, Djmayhem and Gortek. Djmayhem, Gortek and Windman became Merchants. Mira, Devon, Djmayhem, Icepirate and Starman solved the awesome JP puzzle. Mira, Mara and Galena cracked the fiendish GM puzzle. All three went on to become Explorers. Mira's new planet was linked in and She became a Squire, then zoomed on to become a Thane with great speed! Talisan also made it to Thane, and Silk became an Industrialist. Alas, poor Gortek! He went d-d on Tempest (see our earlier story). Merchant Jainzar also came to grief on the dangerous planet. (Remember that insurance, guys!) **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Bella, Emmi, Mira, Tellurian or Tellurain in the game * a message to Hazed * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC and Amiga. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation official libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The third edition of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation is now available, price $15.95. Type ORDER from any GEnie main menu and buy one. Or more! Federation has several categories in the MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). The MPGames RT has a Federation player library in the files area, Lib 5. **>> BULLETIN ENDS