**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 94.08.14 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> UNRELIABLE POSTAL WORKERS Remember the Galactic Administration Postal Workers, who went on strike recently and in the process sabotaged the sendmail system, destroying all uncollected mail? Well, they are about to do it again! On Thursday, the sendmail file will be deleted, so if you send anything to anyone before then, make sure they are going to be around to pick it up. **>> GENCON FUN If you're going to GenCon next week, don't forget that there will be a lot of Fedders wandering around there, and they've planned a get-together. For details, drop some sendmail to Blackadder. **>> THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY... Recently, we ran a short piece provided by one of our stringerdroids, saying that Kainaw hadn't paid out his puzzle reward to Briefcase. We were assured that the story was true; our correspondent had been given the information by Briefcase himself! Now it turns out that the story might not be quite as accurate as all that... we received the following communication from Kainaw's Duke, Nightstalker: The first I heard that Briefcase felt he'd been shortchanged on the Tinsar reward was in the news. Needless to say I was disturbed by the report, so I asked Briefcase about it. The previous week I'd seen Kainaw post on the bar boards for several days that he was ending his reward on Tisnar as several players had already solved the puzzle. In spite of this, Briefcase attempted and eventually solved the Tisnar puzzle anyway. This wouldn't be the first time a reward was ended and I hardly think anyone was "stiffed." However, Briefcase did spend some valuable time on Tisnar, and as Kainaw's Duke, it's my responsibility to see that such actions are rewarded. After talking with Briefcase, we agreed on the figure of 10 megs, which was less than the full 25 megs, which I offered. If poor persons have a dispute regarding a planet puzzle, I suggest that the take up the issue with the Duke in question. I would be surprised if any duke would be unwilling to resolve the matter in a satisfactory manner. Nightstalker, Duke of Nightfall Kainaw has now rewritten Tisnar, and it has a brand new puzzle... and yes, there are puzzle rewards on offer! Check it out. **>> 11 STEPS TO A PURE YOU As promised in last week's news, here is Briefcase's program to change your life and make yourself a new man, woman or thing! Step 1: Define Purity as it relates to your life. It helps to create a concrete vision of Purity to look towards, like a symbol. Step 2: Identify your own impurities as defined by your symbols. Be honest and open - recognize your faults and your sins. Step 3: Choose a mantra as a way to focus your energies on Purity and Innocence. Use it daily. Even hourly. Step 4: (a) Set daily goals to destroy a fault or adopt a new virtue. (b) Develop a rigorous program of self-flagellation to punish not meeting your goals. Or, have a friend flagellate you. Step 5: Identify and become one with your new inner feelings of Purity. Create a new, Pure you. Change your name to reflect this. Step 6: Spread your Purity to others. Be prepared to deal with hostility - the Impure are prone to it. Step 7: Adopt a sinner! Sponsor another's emergence into the Light. Be there to guide them and catch them when they fall. Step 8: Diversify! Help orphans, newbods, the elderly, and, the worst of the sinners, Senators! Step 9: Actively pursue fruitful relations! Propagate a new, Pure species! Fill the universe with the offspring of Purity! Step 10: Divest yourself of worldly possessions! Purity is its own reward; it is your dwelling, your meat and fiber. Give all else to the church of Purity, c/o Briefcase. Step 11: Become active in denouncing the impurities and sins of others! At this point you have deified yourself and therefore are best suited to the judgement of your fellow beings. an original manuscript by: Acolyte John Thomas the Pure and Innocent, more conventionally known as Briefcase **>> SHIP OF THE WEEK... ...goes to Sabaton, whose ship the Nelson has the following description: You can't see it. It's a stealth spaceship. **>> BLOODBATH #1 The Interplanetary Spaceways were filled with the anguish of innocent victims recently, as a fight between (in the red corner) the ne Galdur brothers, Tellurian and Tellurain and (in the blue corner) the Vile Cryptosporidium turned Sol space into a hazard zone. The two Tells decided it was time someone tried to gun down Crytposporidium, who has always claimed to hold the title Best Fighter in Space, gaining its legendary skill and prowess from Pegasus himself. And Tellurian was still angry about the Vile One's hijacking of Tell's ship, the Eqquiraptor. But even combining their might the ne Galdur's couldn't do much to dent Crypto's ship, and the only death came when one of them accidentally teleported into a space location. **>> BLOODBATH #2 Psychochicken and Archangel slugged it out recently after the mad bird took a potshot at the celestial being as their ships passed in the night. They met in Arena Space, with Archie championing fair play, and PC championing... PC! It was an uneven contest, and Archangel was blown away before he could fire more than 5 or 6 missiles. But it was fun to watch. **>> FAVORITE BEVERAGE Alucard's planet is famous for its fine wines, which command a premium price all over the Galaxy. He's recently begun making bottles of a new vintage, Chateau DuCard LuTal Chardonnay. The vampire vine-biter describes it thusly: "Wild, with a flowery bouquet, that is busy, and at times, precocious." Hazed is considering starting a Food and Drink section in the news, so would welcome some samples of the new wine to review. **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES There's a new planet for you to explore. Cicero's Roma linked during the week, but our newsdroid hasn't had the time to visit it yet. We will bring you a full report in next week's news. Meanwhile, Cicero has uploaded some information about the planet in the MPGames BBS - Cat 14, Top 6, Message 123 tells you all about Roma. There are two planets waiting to be linked. First off will be Byterunner's Parabit, early in the week. Then on Thursday (or thereabouts) Drspock's planet will go in. Those wishing to explore Dierdre's excellent Cove will be pleased to know that she is offering a 30 meg reward to the first person to solve her puzzle. Dawn has returned to the game! Maxwell is back at his old rank of Baron, so his planet is open for trading business again. Since he is building the facilities he needs to attempt the Duke puzzle, Traders should find it an attractive place to sell their goods. Blackadder's Terraincognito is now a leisure world, and Neuromancer's Paradigm is technical. **>> SPYNET REVIEW Congratulations to everyone who promoted during the week. The new Captains were Telluwhat, Agnval (back from the dead), Zarnaf, Bazelwood, Kalevis and Katya. Angval made it to Adventurer - twice! The Traders Guild has the following new members: Spacesinger, Slider, Toril, Angval and Wishbringer. Duncan, Archangel, Skynx, Path and Erebus reached Merchant. The awesome JP puzzle proved no match for the even more awesome wits of Janel, Duncan, Trill and Windman. The equally awesome wits of Maxwell, Janel and Djmayhem cracked the fiendish GM puzzle. Romana, Maxwell and Djmayhem became Explorers. Cicero was promoted to Squire when his new planet linked into the game. Neuromancer is now a Technocrat. Blackadder was promoted to Baron. Maxwell returned to his former position as Baron after his untimely death. Now he'd better learn how to use his teleporter properly! This week was obviously Adventureuse's Death Week! We lost Tellurita, Samantha and Tana, all for reasons unknown. Finally, Rai played his 2000th game. Congratulations! 0407:Rai has played 2000 games!! **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed, Bella, Emmi, Mira, Tellurian or Tellurain in the game * a message to Hazed * send GEnie mail with the Mail about Federation option from the main menu A front-end terminal program is available for Federation, for the PC and Amiga. You can download a copy of FedTerm from the Federation official libraries (option 3 on the main Fed page). The third edition of the unexpurgated printed Idiot's Guide to Federation is now available, price $15.95. Type ORDER from any GEnie main menu and buy one. Or more! Federation has several categories in the MPGames RT. To get there, type M1045,1 from any menu prompt and SET category 13 (for information, instructions, questions and answers) or 14 (for general chat and discussions). The Federation Leader in the bulletin board is Oxcart (Mail ID: J.LONG29). There are also private categories for Explorers and the Sentate, run by Krell (Mail ID: K.HILLYER). The MPGames RT has a Federation player library in the files area, Lib 5. **>> BULLETIN ENDS