**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 94.12.25 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> HAPPY HOLIDAYS * *;* Compliments of the season *;;;* *;;;;;* to all our players *;;;;;;;* *;;;;;;;;;* from the Fed team. *;;;;;;;;;;;* *;;;;;;;;;;;;;* | **>> YOU'D BETTER WATCH OUT... Santa Claus has been visiting Fed the last few days, dispensing gifts and good cheer to all the good little boys and girls. He'll be around the rest of today and tomorrow (Sunday and Monday) so if you haven't sat on his lap yet, you still have a chance to do so. The Christmas planet is Carol, depicting all your favorite Christmas songs. Take a look. It will be in the game until the end of the week. On Friday, Tempus in the Fugit system will be linked, a planet where time begins, ends, and takes the weekend off. Can you find the missing Baby 1995 and claim the reward? All times exist here, the best and the worst that history has to offer, so tread carefully, but don't dawdle: time is wasting! Tempus will be in the game from Friday December 30 to Saturday January 7. We'll be throwing a New Year's Eve party to see in the New Year, celebrating the chimes of midnight several times to cater for all timezones. There will be another party on Twelfth Night (Friday January 6) as we all take down our decorations and get back to normal (well, as normal as things ever are in Fed!) with a Grand Costume Ball where you can dress as something from the song "The Twelve Days of Christmas", or if you prefer a character from the Shakespeare play! Remember, for GEnie users there is no primetime surcharge throughout the holiday week. Have fun! **>> YOU'D BETTER WATCH OUT: PART II Is this sinister, or what? He knows when you've been sleeping He knows when you're awake He knows if you've been bad or good Sounds like we should sign Santa up as our chief NewsDroid!! **>> BRAN D NEW As promised in last week's news, some new features went in during the week. Investing in infrastructure on your planet now uses up resources. gives details of the requirements. When you invest, the requirements are taken from the exchange immediately. If there aren't enough resources, the investment will not happen and you'll be told what is missing. Workthings have relented for Christmas and will continue to bring packed lunches to work - but only for a few days. They will start consuming goods from your planet during the coming week. The commodities they consume, and the amount, will vary depending on the planet's level, and how the workthings are feeling at the time. Full details of the consumption will be posted when the code goes in. Be warned: although failure to provide for the needs of the workthings will not reduce their production capabilities, it will increase the planet's disaffection level once disaffection takes full effect. Finally, there's a new command in that can only be used by one person: His Imperial Majesty, the Emperor Ming. If you want to know what the command is, you'll have to ask him! If you dare... **>> GALACTIC ADMINISTRATION ON VERGE OF BANKRUPTCY Rumours are spreading that the vast bureacratic machinery that is the Galactic Administration is becoming insolvent. The Galactic balance of payments has been unbalanced for many centuries, and the gap between imports and exports has become unimaginably large. Accountdroids have been hurling themselves out of high buildings as they find themselves unable to stop the budget slipping further and further into the red. Matters came to a head when a new law was passed, decreeing that bounty hunters would not be paid rewards if there was not enough money in the planet's treasury. Suddenly, fighters in Sol realised they were not receiving the expected reward for killing The Vile Cryptosporidium. An ombudsdroid was sent to investigate, and discovered the huge debt that previous administrations had run up. A spokesthing for the Galactic Administration said that the problem was just a temporary glitch, and that there was no cause for alarm. It is understood that the Galactic Administration will be seeking a re- financing deal with the richest woman in the universe, Our Illustrious Leader, Bella, in order to resume payment of rewards. **>> A REPORT ON THE TALIMAKA CHRISTMAS DINNER By Lady Lulu 'Buffie' Capturefillingham Holiday cheer to each of you! The season is upon us, with the parade of social obligations only eclipsed by the demands shopping places on our already overburdened schedules. Isn't it a sad commentary on affairs when 'shopping' and 'burden' are seen to fall in the same phrase? None-the-less, we found time to attend one soiree this weekend, that staged on Talimaka Ranch to celebrate the Season, hosted by Senator Tellurian and his wife, Talisan ne Galdur. (It should be noted that ourselves would have thought twice about going, had we known that the normally tropical planet, Shelter had been assaulted by winter storms.) Yes, Shelter is snow-bound and one should be advised to definitely wear fur if pushed to visit there. We landed and took advantage of convenient valet parking adjacent to the landing area. (As an unfortunate postscript to that, our limousine was regrettably misplaced, forcing us to purchase another ship in order to depart afterwards.) Transport to the party was provided by Agora Gulch Livery, via a one-horse open sleigh. I must say, in my limited experience of this form of transport, I'm afraid I must conclude that it's quite over-rated! Eventually, we did arrive to find the manor house charmingly decorated. And the turn-out was impressive, as were the fashions adorning the guests. The invitation called for formal dress, which was interpreted by styles ranging from Amigan's toga ensemble to Tantras's spikes and leather. And speaking of spiking, Paladin graciously lent Mimi a hand in the drink preparations by adding his secret ingredient to the egg nog. It was noticeable that the Shelter martinis being offered were largely ignored afterwards in favor of the spicy nog. Guests dropped in throughout the evening, partaking in festive seasonal entertainment that included a group of carolers and the Senator himself, reciting his favorite "The Night Before Glurgmas." For the enjoyment of everyone, we herein include that selection... Twas the night before Glurgmas and all throughout Fed Not a merchant was trading, they were boinking instead. The spaceships were parked on the LP with care, In hopes that St. Pegasus would not take the dare. The exchanges were closed, all the trading was done. To the parties all hurried in hopes of some fun. (And Hazed in her leather, her jaw with no slack, Was out on the prowl for someone she could smack.) When over the comms there arose such a chatter I tuned my commson to see what was the matter. Away to my spaceship I 'ported with skill A whining young newbod! I must make the kill! I set my controls for a jump into Sol, A reaper I'd be, he'd pay with his soul. When what to my wondering eyes should appear But a great flying horse and six serfs armed with fear. This notorious rogue could make whiners beg I knew in a moment it must be St. Peg. More rapid than 'raptors, his serfs onward came He bellowed and shouted and called them by name... Now Occy! Now Niun! Now Oddball! Now Krell! Now Tell'rain! Now 'Rian! Let's give him some hell! To the ruins on Mars! To the LP on Snark! Now dash away! Dash away! Into the dark! As demons that before the cold winds of death fly, When they meet with an obstacle, they blow it sky-high. So on into Sol space, the demons they flew, With their ships armed for death and St. Pegasus, too. And then in a twinkling their lasers were armed, This one with no inkling was about to be harmed. I turned on my beam (all the better to spy), While in Sol space St. Pegasus buzzes right on by. His mane flew behind him, a brilliant white light, And his TLs were polished, they glimmered so bright. A chain made of skulls he had strung on his hull, And he looked like some devil made ready to maul. His eyes how they pierce'd and chilled to the bone, His hooves razor sharp and his jaw cast of stone. His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow And his teeth they were pointed and as white as the snow. The stump of a cigar he clenched with his teeth And the smoke rings he blew, each looked like a wreath. He had a broad face (after all, he's a horse), The expression he wore made one shiver, of course. He was streaking about, his guns all a-blaze, The newbod was shrieking about in a daze. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know he was something to dread. He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, His TLs he fired, and they blew up the jerk. And laying the finger aside of his nose, And giving a nod, off into space he arose. He orbited once, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight, Happy Glurgmas to all, let's give 'em a fright! After the dinner entertainment, gifts were distributed. Some outstandingly fine things were to be had, including a stunning saddle that went to Paladin (complete with the Talimaka brand) and a golden Ducal Scepter given to Duke Budwarp. (We're hoping the Duke doesn't try it out on Lady Dierdre's head.) Tantras was the recipient of a diamond studded ring with a small chain hanging from it (we shan't comment further on that) and Breaker will be the envy of Fed Dataspace, carrying the leather-bound computer case that holds Tellurian's little black powerbook. (This of course holds the Senator's trade routes and notes...) The party concluded with all guests departing, happily feted and ready for a new year of Fed social events! Ta ta dearies! **>> THE PRICE OF REFRESHMENTS Here's one of life's little mysteries. If you buy yourself a drink in a bar, it costs 3 groats. But if you buy a round of drinks for your friends, it costs 5 groats per drink. Why? It's not because your friends are taking advantage of it being your round to order the most expensive drinks they can think of, because you get to choose what to buy them. It's not because the waitdroids automatically serve doubles when you order for your friends. No, it's because it's far more work for the waitdroids to have to fulfill your order when you ask for a round of something unusual or downright wierd than it is to just bring you a simple ale! **>> PEACE ON EARTH AND GOOD WILL TOWARDS MEN Has the spirit of the season affected Budwarp and Sean? They have been seen together the past couple days on Dunnottar giving Jade advice on how to proceed on her Duchesse builds. Hopefully they will continue this new-kindled spirit of co-operation that they had for most of the past year, but have seemed to have lost the past two months. Have these two stubborn men finally come to their senses? It may be a little much to hope for, but it is Christmas, the season for miracles. **>> HOW MUCH FOR JUST THE PLANET? by Guest Newsdroid Fed-Up There's been a rather disturbing trend lately in Federation when it comes to planets. Yes, that's right. Unfinished planets. This is a rather recent development - link the planet as quickly as you can with only five or six locations, then add in the rest of the planet at your leisure. Quite frankly, there's no excuse for linking an unfinished planet and keeping it in the game. It's one thing to link a planet, discover that the movement table won't allow you to access a chunk of rooms and fix it that same day. It's something entirely different if you write a landing pad and rooms around it, and then have places "closed for repairs" for weeks (and even months) afterward. This Guest Newsdroid would like to suggest that a planet should only get one review - the week that it links. If it's not done, too bad. Players that completely rewrite their planets don't get the added push of having Hazed review the new planet; why should players who in essence do the same thing with an unfinished planet? In addition, planet owners might want to remember that when a planet links, players are most likely to explore it the first couple days it is in the game. If it's not done, they'll leave quickly and probably not return. After all, there are always new planets coming into the game that they can explore instead. Hey, you snooze, you lose. **>> COMMENT FROM HAZED The above piece was not written by one of the Fed team. It was sent to us by a player, who wishes to remain anonymous. But I have to say that I agree with the sentiments expressed. I find it disappointing that, having suffered so long with the necessity of mini-planets, people now put in minis by choice because they want to rush their promotion. Human nature being what it is, I suspect this is a trend that we won't be able to stop. But I see no reason why I should encourage this! So from now, new planets will be reviewed when they are linked into the game. If they are complete, they will get a proper review, and the chance to win one of the coveted Walruses of Merit. If they aren't complete... then they miss out on getting reviewed. Remember that tourist income is converted directly to groats, so it pays to have people exploring your world. I will make an exception to this rule for China and Astrin, since their less-than-full planets appeared before I laid down the law. I will despatch a newsdroid to explore Satin and Ymris as soon as they tell me they are fit for viewing. But any future planets will be reviewed as they are when they link. **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES Astrin linked his new planet, Ymris, into the game. It's a mini-planet so there's no review yet. Astrin joined Budwarp's duchy of Epini. Meanwhile, China's new planet signed up with Nightstalker's Nightfall. Jade's Dunnottar promoted to leisure. **>> SPYNET REVIEW The data collection droid has been having a few sticky moments over the past few weeks, so many apologies if your promotion got missed. The week's new Captains were Spoon, Milburn, Scarlotti, Alice, Bricker, Mcgruff, Chuckster, Jennifer, Melody, Asrianna, Starfury, Cooleo, Troy, Marty, Sinclair, Thomas, Bodie, Cuter, Skywalker, Tern, Zarlock and Cleric. Scarlotti, Silas, Mcgruff, Milburn and Tern made it to Adventurer. The Traders Guild admitted Bil, Nightmare, Scarlotti, Aubie, Silas, Luv, Llong and Mcgruff to its ranks. Silas, Luv and Bil were promoted to Merchant. Alf and Silas solved the awesome JP puzzle. Primetime, Astrin, Skeets and Silas cracked the fiendish GM puzzle. Astrin, Skeets and Silas moved straight on to become Explorers, then Astrin promoted to Squire as her planet linked. Jade achieved Baronessness as her planet promoted. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. The current Federation Party Hosts are: Mira, Redqueen, Caterpillar and Lyrynna. Their function is to answer questions, help new players get started, and make fun things happen. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or one of the Party Hosts in the game * a message to Hazed * send mail on your host system to the Federation team: on GEnie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Delphi, mail FED2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Cris, mail FEDERATION2 **>> BULLETIN ENDS