**>> SPYNET BULLETIN
 **>> EARTHDATE 95.06.04
 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE

 **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids
 **>> <SEND HAZED> your news and gossip and get paid good groats!


 **>> POSTPONED!!

We're very sorry, but the planned West Coast UnCon picnic will have to
be postponed. Bella and Hazed were planning to be in the San Francisco
area in early July, but the schedule has changed and they now won't be
visiting the West Coast on this trip. However, they will be returning in
a few months and will schedule a get-together then.

The East Coast UnCon is still on for the weekend of June 23 to 25, at
Freya's Farm about 100 miles north-west of New York City, and Hazed is
looking forward to meeting as many of you as can be there.

For details of how to get to the farm, send mail to Freya: on GEnie the
id is FEDASST and on Delphi it's FED4.


 **>> NEWS ARCHIVES

The Federation Official Library on GEnie houses the Fed News Archive,
and our newsdroids have now uploaded bulletins from March and April 1994
for your reading pleasure. Files #350-357 tell you what was happening
just over a year ago.


 **>> WIN A NAVAL BASE!

Zzzax, Overlord of Saturn (and Ambassador to FedSpace) has announced a
contest! You see, Zzzax wants a very special place to call his own in
Fed DataSpace, what with his planet off hiding in another dimension
(waiting to attack Fed DataSpace, but that's another story). So, he's
decided there has to be a way to rectify this situation.

Planet-owners can design a room or suite of rooms on their planet for
Zzzax himself! When your rooms are completed, let Zzzax know either in
sendmail or by telling him in the game. After the deadline, he'll decide
which owner designed the best room or group of rooms, and give them "a
very zpecial reward". What is this reward? Well, we're now allowed to
say it...

The winner will host Zzzax's very own Naval Base! As planet-owners know,
this helps production and workthings...

So, win the right to host Zzzax's Naval Base! Write those rooms! The
deadline is Friday, June 9th--and it's getting VERY close!


 **>> THING OFTEN REPEATED

A sound has been rippling through the fabric of the galaxy. A sound so
soft as to caress your ear with a whisper. Again and again has this
melody played its highly skilled composition across men's heart strings.
Only could the voice of a woman have such affect over a few of our men's
actions. The voice of Ecco is being heard throughout Fed DataSpace.

Ecco, a seemingly innocent soul, has declared her love for Hermes. And
Instill. And Bgg! Newsdroids are frantactically buzzing around the
galaxy to see just who else this woman has pledged her love to. If not
her love, then her attentions.

Last seen, Ecco was tempting Bgg through her communications unit.
Newsdroids bugged Bgg's unit in hopes of a capture, but were too late.
Only the soft echoes remained.

Is she trying to tempt Bgg into the same course of action that Instill
and Hermes took? Hermes appeared to not have noticed. Yet. Newsdroids
are posted at every corner stand, waiting for this Olympian to pick up
a copy, read it, and fall into action where the droids will be able to
pick up the trail.


**>> WHY BUY THE COW WHEN YOU CAN RENT?

Asrianna has decided to put up Chance as a Stud-for-Rent. It is being
advertised that Chance is equipped with the latest form of flirt, almost
new exterior, high dexterity, and satisfaction guarenteed.

When asked about the stud fee, Asrianna replied, 'Well, of course I will
be taking all the groats; I wear the pants.'


 **>> GEEZER v. H-BY-A... WEEK 2

As expected, H-by-A has yet to make any direct response to the
discrimination complaint filed by Geezer against Diesel's Executive
Services, Inc. [a subsidiary of H-by-A Services]. Certain unnamed
persons have approached Geezer with an assortment of suggestions, the
nature of which we cannot reveal at this time, but we will say that one
must have involved music as an alternative entertainment since a shady
looking character was seen quietly showing Geezer the contents of his
violin case. 

Geezer is currently seeking expert legal representation to explore all
his options in this deplorable situation. As we announced in last week's
Fed News, Geezer is charging H-by-A Services with discrimination because
of their lack of handicapped access to the back room at Chez Diesel.
Among his demands is the construction of a ramp by the back stairs for
easy access to the Executive
Services. He also feels that a Senior Citizen's discount would be quite
in order.

Geezer, a retired professional inventor, is also considering suing
H-by-A for back royalties on dirt. While Galactic Authorities have
acknowledged that Geezer did indeed invent dirt and hold the original
patent, they claim Geezer's exclusive rights to the production and
distribution of dirt have long since elapsed and that dirt is now in the
public domain. 
 

 **>> PERSONAL/CLASSIFIED ADS

*Clues as to the identity and whereabouts of my parents are sought.
Sendmail Venom.
*Strapping young werejaguar looking for a RICH woman. Please leave
sendmail for Trafalgar
*Public Service Announcement: I am *NOT* a Grasshopper!
*To Whom It May Concern from Windman: Can I have my reset now, please? 
*Mercenary space fighters looking for lucrative assignments? Sendmail
Tellurian
*SF looking for Rich M for casual fun. Sendmail China
*Public Service Announcement from Sparrowhawk: I am not a BIRD!!!!!! 
*Used spybeam for sale cheap. Low milage, excellent value. Used sundays
only by a little old lady. Sendmail Grannie for details.
*SM seeking SF for romantic getaways. Sense of direction a+. Please
leave sendmail for Starman.
*Fed Trivia.....Sunday, June 4th, 7pm est. G'hostess Lyrynna
*Limited time FREE offer! Lemmings will be given away absolutely free
with every drink ordered at Chez Diesel. This is a limited time offer
only and may expire at any time. Relatives and employees of H-by-A
Services are not included in this offering.


 **>> SOMETHING LOST!

Lost showed up the other day, sobbing about how she'd lost Something.
Not just anything, mind you, but Something. Nothing else would do.

THEN, Sparrowhawk claimed to have kidnapped Something! He was appalled
when Lost suggested that Something killed herself to get away from him;
he insisted that he'd lost Something before that happened.

Lost is doubly lost these days, by being Lost, and having lost
Something. As she tearfully told our droid, 'I'll never forget
Something, and if Anything comes along, I'll know it's not Everything,
and certainly not Something, and will have Nothing to do with Anything!'
 

 **>> YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR FAMILY!

Budwarp and Dierdre are disproving that old saw, "You can choose your
friends but you can't choose your family". Bud and Dee have been busy
lately with their rapidly expanding family. In recent days they have
adopted Sparrowhawk and Kirchansky to raise the latest count of their
adoptive children.

While large families in Fed are not unknown, [witness the explosive
grown of the Kudzu], this new vogue for adoptions has inspired some
questions. Is this all simple family affection? Or is this wave of mass
adoptions by Epini's ruling family a clever new political ploy? In a
recent chat at CD's with Bud, the Duke claimed that the adoptions are
merely a result of their warm and loving natures.

NewsDroid: How many children have you adopted so far Bud?

Duke Budwarp: 6 I think, and a Cousin

NewsDroid: You adopted a cousin???

Duke Budwarp: I really have to get with Dierdre to figure out whats
going on. Lets see China is somehow related to Dierdre - Mothers Sisters
Child - that is China is. 

Duke Budwarp: [wonders what he just said]

NewsDroid: Aren't so many children expensive? Do you think you might be
the first Duke to go to the poorhouse?

Duke Budwarp: I'm already in poorhouse.

NewsDroid: Aren't there going to be some serious bills raising 6 kids?

Duke Budwarp: Nope they get to support us.


 **>> NOTHING WORSE THAN A BORED SENATOR

What exactly is Senator Jim doing with his supply of barbed wire lately,
all of Fed is asking. The secretive Senator, whose name has been quietly
associated with some of the most desirable FedBabes around, has long
been an object of amorous speculation. Jim was recently spotted in CD's
with China explaining the art of lubricating barbed wire. The Senator
noted that China was completely unbranded and proceeded to rubber stamp
her bottom, "dangerous curves ahead". China, who has been openly on the
prowl for a "rich man" since her divorce claims that she and Jim are not
a couple, she is merely "exploring a new hobby". Jim refused to make an
official statement but said that his newest book, Zen and the Art of
Barbed Wire, would soon be available at shops everywhere as well as his
new line of custom designed rubber stamps.

Meanwhile Senator Tellurian and Duke Aren are busy recruiting a
mercenary force of armed space fighters. An impressive warchest is being
assembled. Senator Tellurian denied rumours that this had anything to do
with politics. He said that in the absence of Emperor Ming, it behooved
the Senate to maintain the level of courtesy and good manners
traditionally expected in Fed DataSpace. The Senator stated that if
speaking softly didn't work, the Senate would be prepared to back up its
requests for civility with a very big stick indeed.


 **>> PLAYER PLANET REVIEWS

This reporter recently attempted to explore several new player planets
which she will not name here. It was rapidly apparent that new planet
owners are either not devoting sufficient time and effort to reviewing
their planet designs in the Explorer's WorkBench or do not understand or
care what sort of impression they are presenting to their fellow Fed
citizens. I found planets with less than 40 locations and countless
movement errors not to mention a seemingly total lack of copy editing of
location descriptions. [ie spelling errors galore!] Further, some new
planet owners asked when they could expect reviews of their planets in
the Fed News. It has been announced previously that Hazed or her
official representative would NOT review incomplete player planets and
that players MUST inform Hazed when their planet is ready for review. 

Something is wrong with this picture, gentle readers. Designing your own
planet should be a high point in your Fed experience. The time and
effort of planning it and carefully entering it in the Work Bench will
be rewarded not just by increased player interest in exploring and
visiting your planet. There should be a pride of ownership. You have
produced a work of art in an original planet! If players visit your
planet and find themselves lost or trapped by careless movement errors,
you are not gaining any friends or allies thereby. If you just can't
think of enough locations to fill your planet properly, invite your
friends to add their own rooms. This is another way to encourage players
to spend more time visiting your planet.

Please also consider the impression of yourself that is given by a
plethora of simple but obvious spelling and grammatical errors. If
Explorers feel they lack the time or skill to properly edit their new
planet, there is no rule which says you can't ask a friend in the game
to double check your WorkBench files before you input your planet.
Immediately after your new planet appears in the game, a walk through to
detect any movement errors is a MUST. A well designed planet should be
a source of pride for its planet owner as well as an adventure for
fellow players not a slapped together misadventure that sullies your
reputation. 
 

 **>> STRANGE BREW

Outpost, long considered to be a quiet and remote bypass on the
interstellar byways has been the scene lately of a flurry of visits by
the Godfather. The Godfather was unavailable for comment but sent word
through his associate, Mario that he was exploring the possibility of
importing Outpost Ale to compete with the new and wildly popular POD
Ale. Brawn, the Overlord of Outpost would not comment other than saying
he was awaiting an "offer that was too good to refuse" before he made
any permanent decisions about Outpost's future trading partners. 

Romana, owner of Brittany, who speculation has sometimes romantically
associated with Brawn has also been seen talking with Mario recently.
Romana has denied stories that the Godfather is attempting to recruit
her for his planned new Las Vegas style dance review at the Casino on
the Moon. 


 **>> CHEZ DIESEL'S EXPANDED MENU

In her ever continuing effort to serve the needs of Fed Dataspace,
Diesel has added a new item to her menu of delightful comestibles: hot
dogs. Patrons of Chez Diesel can now enjoy a quick snack on their way to
the Martian Ruins or during short layovers. A taste testing held last
night at CD's elicited much favorable comment. The hot dogs were
particularly praised for their unique flavour.

In an unrelated note, Diesel has also announced that her latest change
to CD's is the elimination of the ongoing MarsRat Problem. Since the
departure of Senator Krell, well known for her marsrat hunting, the
problem of stray marsrats has increased dramatically. Recent renovations
to the Mare's Nest may have caused a migration of marsrats and hence
exacerbated this ongoing nuisance into a crisis. Diesel declined to
elaborate on her solution to the marsrat problem but was heard to mumble
something about, "everything but the squeal".


 **>> STOP THE PRESSES!!! LATE BREAKING NEWS ALERT!

Late breaking news! Brawn and Romana found dead-dead under the altar in
the Martian Ruins!! Imperial Intelligence Headquarters reports no leads
yet on the cause of their deaths. A leak from the Imperial Coroner's
office vaguely mentioned several alleged bullet wounds to the temple,
large masses of an alleged cementlike substance on their feet, and a
single bloddy leather glove found near the alleged crime scene. Imperial
Security Forces have denied rumours of sabotage at the cloning factory.

Telluruin, a reputed confidant of the Godfather [and one of numerous
black sheep of the Ne Galdur family (does that family have any white
sheep?)] and his current female companion, a trashy wench known as
Melinda, who lately starred in the Godfather's Las Vegas style dance
review in the Casino on the Moon, showed up in the Imperial Court before
the Emperor Ming with allegedly signed and executed title deeds to
Outpost and Brittany. After due consideration, His Imperial Majesty
awarded Telluruin and Melinda legal title to both planets with
permission to remove them from the known confines of Fed
DataSpace at their leisure.

In an unrelated note, His Imperial Majesty Ming was seen today enjoying
his newly arrived 21" SVGA monitor. 


 **>> HOT ROMANCE IN CD's!

CD's was rocked with the scene of the budding romance between Grannie
and Geezer! With Starman presenting him, Geezer swept Grannie off her
walker with a gift of flowers and candy. The couple was seen rocking and
rolling together to the amazement of all. The most common response was,
"I didn't think you did stuff like that at your age!"

Grannie and Geezer spent a few happy moments talking over old times, and
the tales begining with, "When I was your age!..." flooded the ears of
the younger crowd. This newsdroid plans on watching for future
developements.


 **>> HAVE YOU SEEN THIS PLANET???

Explorer Mosquito has been running around Fed space showing pictures of
her lost planet, Kama. She is pleading with anyone who has information
of its whereabouts to come forward.

During a newsdroid interview, she broke down in tears, "It's such a
little planet... all alone out there in the universe... Please help me
find it!" This newsdroid is dedicating its efforts to helping her... who
could resist such a sweet and innocent(tm) Mosquito?

Current theories are :

     Altaseren took it for the week to hold wild parties on Haven.

     The Keebler Elves took it cause their tree has termites.

     The evil Zzzax has taken it as his first planetary conquest.

     Duchess Aja put it away in the bottom of her closet when Skeets
     went d-d and forgot where she put it.


 **>> REAPER-2: SS-0

With an "Argh!" heard around Fed, Starsinger joined his clone,
Spacesinger, in ending his miserable existence this week. A note left
behind indicates he was distraught over his recent divorce from Goddess
and rumors of an impending marriage between her and another man. Other
speculation is that he was troubled by the recent drain in Block's
economy. Since this drainage occured shortly before SS's first suicide,
it has been suggested that he was actually responsible for siphoning off
his own cash which he then, foolishly, spent on another woman. Rumor has
it this woman was Lori, who was unavailable for comment at this writing.

With all the speculation, we may never know why this tortured soul chose
the suicide route... and twice in one week, no less. He will be missed
by one or two people... maybe.


 **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES

It's been an eventful two weeks, with two new planets, one new duchy,
and many economic advancements. The new planets are Deth's Jersey and
Kassandra's Delphi. Delphi is reviewed below; Jersey needs more work
before it's fit for visitors. The new duchy belongs to Brandy, who fills
the slot vacated by Sean when he snuffed it.

Kain's Empyrean is now a mining planet. Astrin's Ymris, Djmayhem's
Halcyon, Helena's Troy, and China's Satin advanced to industrial level.
Cheri's Aise is now a technical worlds, and Windman's Storm is leisure.

Three planets have vanished because of deaths: Spacesinger's Block,
Brawn's Outpost and Romana's Brittany.

Emmi's Oac has seceded from Silk's duchy of Fortymile and moved to
Aren's Naug. The new planet Jersey has joined Budwarp's duchy; Kassandra
hasn't yet made her decision and remains independent. Meanwhile, Sorak's
Tyr has left Budwarp's Epini and moved to the new duchy, Brandy's Nexus.


 **>> VISITING THE ORACLE

Kassandra's new planet Delphi, in the Krisa system, is a world with
rather severe weather problems. A permanent storm rages across the world
and the lightning made us newsdroids fear for our lives (or equivalent)!

But we're getting ahead of ourselves... our first problem was in finding
the planet. The star of this system doesn't welcome visitors, sending
out solar flares to fry the unwary, and making navigation very
difficult. Unlike most civilized planets, the Krisa link is not in the
same place as the planetary orbit, and it took some blundering about
through unpleasant and dangerous space/time storms before we found
ourselves in orbit around Delphi.

Once on the ground (and with lightning repellers erected) we found
ourselves in a vast crater, the remnant of some ancient meteor impact.
Scurrying for safety towards the west wall of the crater, we realised
that there were more strange things here than the weather as we were
confronted by a strange illusion barring our passage.

Trundling back in a hurry, we came to the City of Delos. Peace at last,
safety and shelter from the fierce storm, and refreshment in the Laurel
Leaf Tavern helped unfray our highly-strung nerves, before we continued
exploring. The first task: finding a way past that apparition that had
prevented us from climbing up the west side of the crater.

Kassandra's planet is excellent. It's one of the best we've seen for a
long time. The thing that really makes it stand out is the language used
for the location descriptions - it's seldom that one gets such a sense
of really travelling to a strange place. We highly recommend that you
take a look at Delphi, and we are very pleased to award it the coveted
Walrus of Merit. Well done, Kassandra.


 **>> SPYNET REVIEW

Here's a rundown of the notable events over the last two weeks.
Congratulations to everyone who was promoted, commiserations to the dead
ones.

RIP Adventurer Riker, Trader Peter, JPs Clovis and Starsinger, Squire
Spacesinger, Industrialist Romana and Baron Brawn, who all went dead-
dead.

The new Captains were Nick, Roam, Capt, Bud, Magneto, Zirov, Zarnaf,
Lost, Spudi, Mischief, Ecco, Clovis (back from the dead), Hermes,
Mosley, Riker, Stryder and Mspink.

Nick, Bud, Roadrash, Perrin, Capt, Clovis, Dracula, Agate, Riker and
Mosley were promoted to Adventurer.

The Traders Guild welcomed Mosquito, Dibdevlin, Taffy, Satori, Clovis
and Agate into its hallowed halls.

Mosquito, Logi and Clovis made it to Merchant.

The awesome JP puzzle was cracked by Mosquito, Admiral, Lori, Trafalgar
and Clovis.

Mosquito, Greybeard and Pyke solved the fiendist GM puzzle. Mosquito and
Greybeard then moved on to become Explorers.

Deth and Kassandra are the new Squires with planets to play with.

Kain was promoted to Thane by advancing his planet.

Astrin, Djmayhem, Helena, China and Windman became Industrialists.

Windman and Cheri are now Technocrats.

Brandy was promoted to Baroness, then tackled the devilish Duke puzzle
successfully, becoming our newest Duchesse.


 **>> CONTACTS

The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin,
so you don't have to read it if you already know it.

The current Federation Game Hosts are: Freya, Grasshopper, Lyrynna,
Grannie, Sparky, Zzzax, Shady, Geezer and Magneto. Their function is to
answer questions, help new players get started, and make fun things
happen.

In the event of a problem or question, you can:

 * talk to Hazed or one of the Game Hosts in the game

 * <SEND> a message to Hazed

 * send mail on your host system to the Federation team:
   on GEnie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page
   on Delphi, mail FED2 or use the option on the main Fed page
   on Cris, mail FEDERATION2

You can buy a copy of the very excellent Idiot's Guide to Federation for
the paltry sum of $15.95. On GEnie, type ORDER from any main menu page.
On Delphi and Cris, send a check for $15.95 to: Leah Parker, 4543 La
Crescenta Avenue, La Crescenta, CA 91214-2912.

 **>> BULLETIN ENDS