**>> SPYNET BULLETIN **>> EARTHDATE 95.07.09 **>> AN H-by-A SERVICE **>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids **>> your news and gossip and get paid good groats! **>> THE DEMI-GODDESS' BRAIN IS MISSING! This is a fairly short news bulletin, because our beloved Editrix Hazed has just returned home from a trip to the US and is suffering from severe jet-lag, having misplaced her brain somewhere over the Atlantic. Next week, of course, the news will return to the usual high standard that you have all come to expect. No comments from the back, please! **>> SLOW-DOWNS AND CRASHES The machine on which Fed runs decided to get a bit congested this week, and slowed r i g h t d o w n . . . . and then it started to crash. Apologies for the inconvenience caused last night. It's had some sticking plaster stuck into the relevant places, and should be ok now. **>> SCHEDULE FOR NEWNESS In the next few weeks, the techdroids will put in a new version of Fed that will contain the first of the changes we're making to bring in the new design of Fed. This first version won't contain anything totally radical, but it will slightly change the way planetary economies work by tightening up some of the code. A little advance warning of a change that will either be in that version, or will follow shortly afterwards: we're changing the way builds work, making it more logical so that all builds, no matter what they are, work in the same way. Instead of taking goods from an exchange, they will be taken from the warehouse on your planet (thus getting round the problem of only half the goods going into stocks if you sell them to the exchange). Warehouse bays will hold up to 1 megaton, so commodities can be stacked up well in advance of build instructions being issued. In addition, all planetary investment will require resources, not just infrastructure. Full details will be in the news just before this goes in, including all the commodities required for the various items. As part of the changes, all existing Dukes and Senators will have to decide what they want to do. They will all have the option of remaining at their current level, or moving back down to become a planet-owner. The new design calls for Dukes to keep their planets, so anyone who wants to end up as a Duke needs to start thinking now about a planet. If you made Duke recently you may well still have your planet in the workbench, and you can simply re-use the old planet or design a new one; but for many of you the files will no longer exist and you will have to start from scratch. Those who do want to be Dukes will need to see if you can get into the workbench. If you can, it means your old planet still exists and you can do what you like with it. If the workbench won't let you in, please drop Hazed some sendmail and she will get some new workbench files set up for you. Whatever happens, please do -*not*- try to link your planets in at this stage! We'll tell you when to do that. **> AN EGGSTRORDINARY TALE A new file in the library on GEnie, EGGSTRA.TXT, describes the events on last Wednesday evening in Fed. It's a capture of the most eggscrutiating jokes... we cannot say any more for fear our circuits will eggsplode. You will just have to download file #377 and see for yourselves. **>> SO LONG... FAREWELL... BE SEEING YOU... GOODBYE! All Fed DataSpace mourns the loss of Edmund Blackadder, who died by his own hand today. With his last breath, he gasped his story out to an ambulance-chasing newsdroid. It seems he was despondent over a recent incident in which Dierdre carried out an emotionless sexual assault on his unwilling person, which left him so humiliated and traumatised he had no recourse left open to him but to end his miserable life. We're not quite sure how this squares with our report a few weeks back naming BA the tormentor of Dee! Given a choice between believe him or her... who do you choose? **>> BODY FOR SALE Ever since he was born, Oxcart has been trying to sell his body (or parts thereof). Until recently he had no success at all; indeed, even when he resorting to offering money nobody wanted to have anything to do with him. During the week he once more tried to auction himself... and this time, much to his (and everyone else's) surprise, he found someone willing to bid! They weren't prepared to go over 10 groats, but in the circumstances he considered that a very fair offer and accepted. Oxcart is now Aja's sex slave. The mind (or equivalent) boggles, it really does! **>> GOSSIP, SCANDAL AND LIES Goddess spent a long time talking quietly with one of Fed's famous females - the one with the waggly tail, Tabby. We tried to sneak a newsdroid close enough to hear what the two desirable women were talking about, but they kept moving away. We expect it was something terribly steamy and exciting though... we'll pay extremely good groats for a transcript! **>> PLANETS AND DUCHIES We promised you a review of Greybeard's Atlantis this week, but due to the above-mentioned jet-lag we'll have to hold off until next week. Meanwhile, there is another new planet: Draco has linked in Absolom. We'll bring you a review of that planet next week, too. Ukla's Snafu, Gallahad's Camelot and Kassandra's Delphi have all advanced to mining level. Sorak's Tyr has become an industrial world. Scrooge's Hermitage and Helena's Troy now have technical economies. **>> SPYNET REVIEW Here we go with a bumper round-up of promotions and other exciting events over the last three weeks. First, there were three notable deaths. JPs Duncan and Cleric both went d-d, as did Senator Niun. R.I.P, guys. The new Captains were Patch, Cyd, Ferro, Varth, Thrull, Marlark, Draco, Wildstar, Barracuda, Wildstar, Loreaux, Lynch, Talon, Thanatos, Sago, Casper, Sheree, Diana, Allanon, Bonehead, Shanker, Shanker, 0893: Dragonspawn, Blaze, Skeets, Redbeard, Douglas, Torinmac and Ashley. Draco, Wildstar, Lynch, Thanatos, Allanon and Space were promoted to Adventurer. The Traders Guild admitted Draco, Wildstar, Allanon, Lynch and Space to its membership. Blargg, Draco, Wildstar, Allanon, Lynch and Cabal made it to Merchant. The awesome JP puzzle was cracked by Hermes, Draco, Starman, Wyrd, Dibdevlin and Brain. Hermes and Draco went on to crack the fiendish GM puzzle, and then both became Explorers. Greybeard and Draco both became Squires when their new planets were linked to the game. Ukla, Gallahad and Kassandra were promoted to Thane, Sorak became an Industrialist, and Scrooge and Helena are now Technocrats. **>> CONTACTS The following information will appear at the end of every News Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it. The current Federation Game Hosts are: Freya, Egg, Lyrynna, Grannie, Sparky, Zzzax, Geezer and Magneto. Their function is to answer questions, help new players get started, and make fun things happen. In the event of a problem or question, you can: * talk to Hazed or one of the Game Hosts in the game * a message to Hazed * send mail on your host system to the Federation team: on GEnie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Delphi, mail FED2 or use the option on the main Fed page on Cris, mail FEDERATION2 You can buy a copy of the very excellent Idiot's Guide to Federation for the paltry sum of $15.95. On GEnie, type ORDER from any main menu page. On Delphi and Cris, send a check for $15.95 to: Leah Parker, 4543 La Crescenta Avenue, La Crescenta, CA 91214-2912. **>> BULLETIN ENDS