**>> SPYNET BULLETIN
**>> EARTHDATE 95.10.08
**>> AN H-by-A SERVICE

**>> Compiled by Hazed plus a team of specialist newsdroids
**>> <SEND HAZED> your news and gossip and get paid good groats!


**>> DISAPPEARING OBJECTS

Here's some clarification for baffled puzzle-solvers about the 
different ways objects can up and vanish with no warning!

There's two things you need to watch out for. The first is the drug 
squad. This turns up if you've been hoarding items for too long and 
confiscates anything suspicious. Each object has a timer attached, and 
all the time that someone holds the object the timer ticks away. Each 
object has a random time associated with it (something between 90 and 
120 minutes) and when the timer gets to the time, the drug squad pops 
up and steals the object.

This time is cumulative, so the drug squad cannot be defeated by 
passing an object to someone else. The timer is set to zero when an 
object appears after recycling, so you should have at least an hour 
and a half of mucking about with an object before losing it.

The other object-stealer is the robot cleaner. It patrols all the 
Solar System planets, moving through each location methodically, 
staying in a location for ten seconds then moving on, thus taking 
roughly two hours to cover the whole Solar System.

When the cleaner leaves a location, it takes with anything that 
doesn't belong there - that is, any object which is out of its normal 
recycle area. This stops objects that have been hidden away somewhere 
from staying inaccessible for too long.

Once you know how these two factors work, it's quite easy to make sure 
you don't lose an object at the critical moment in a puzzle.


**>> NEW NEW NEW

The new version went into the game on Wednesday, with all the changes 
detailed in last week's news. There was one additional change that we 
didn't tell you about: there is now a limit of 1 meg on the amount of 
working capital you can set for a factory.

This week, you won't see anything much that's new. The TechDroid is 
working on fixing some problems, cleaning things up, and doing 
background work for the next major project, which will be the new 
build system.


**>> BE A CHAMPION FIGHTER TONIGHT 
 
We all know that Federation is not a violent game. It's not about 
fighting, it's about trading. But sometimes, it does the soul good 
just to have a blast! So join us on tonight at 9.00pm eastern in Arena 
Space for the fighting championships! 
 

**>> LEARN HOW TO RUN A PLANET'S ECONOMY 
  
You don't have to be an expert in advanced economics to advance in 
Fed... but you do need a thorough understanding of the way planetary 
exchanges work, in order to run your planet successfully.

Balancing your desire to make a huge profit with the needs of your 
population, and still making sure the planet offers a good deal for  
independent traders, can be a tricky business. It's more an art than a 
science, and there are many strategies you can use to run a good 
planet.

So come to our next Fed Training School, which is all about planetary 
economics. You'll learn the basic commands to manage your exchange, 
and some of the strategies you can use to maximise profit. The school 
is at 9.00pm eastern on Sunday October 15th, in Chez Diesel.


**>> I WANNA BE FAMOUS!

A quote from Cygnus: "I never seem to get in the news...". Well now he 
has!

Of course, anyone who wants to get their name in lights needs to do 
something newsworthy, preferably with more than a hint of scandal in 
it. Our newsdroids need dirt, good solid sleaze, the greasier the 
better.

So just do something disgusting and make sure a newsdroid knows about 
it, and you're sure to get your name in the news.


**>> BLUEBEARD GOES BROADWAY!

'Just who is this Bluebeard chap anyway?' was the question on 
everyone's mind as the normally quiet Merchant exploded out of his 
shell this past week. It all started innocently enough with everyone 
going about their business or stopping to enjoy a pint of Diesel's Old 
Peculiar when Bluebeard, his mind apparently scorched from 
contemplating one too many high maintenance, low profit factories, 
suddenly leaped to his feet and began ranting about "cheap dye jobs".

Most of the patrons of the bar initially ignored him, having become 
inured to such outbursts over the years. They took notice, however, 
when Bluebeard began advancing on the innocent and helpless Lorelei, a 
look of cold madness in his eyes. Words were spoken. Threats were 
exchanged. The place erupted into a maelstrom of flying glass and 
furniture. When the dust finally settled, Lorelei was nowhere to be 
seen, though slow motion instant replay showed her slipping out the 
door with a rather smug look on her face.

Lying in the middle of the floor, onlookers were shocked to see the 
still frothing Bluebeard, bound and gagged, next to a confused but 
otherwise normal looking dog! What happened next is a matter of 
conjecture, as our grossly incompetent newsdroid became infatuated 
with the dog and failed to record the event. (We have it on good 
authority that it's been sacked and sent off to spend its remaining 
years in a Rigellian salt mine.) 

Based on what eye-witnesses have told us, Bluebeard somehow managed to 
free himself. One would think that being tied up with a dog would've 
calmed him down. One would be wrong. Casting only a cursory glance at 
the dog and inept newsdroid, he leaped to the bar and, in a scene 
that's been repeated too many times to repeat again, took off his 
clothes and began dancing for the assembled patrons! Those that didn't 
immediately stumble towards the door clutching their stomachs began 
smothering Bluebeard with groats. It's not clear whether they were 
tipping him for an outstanding performance or making a desperate 
attempt to cover his body with whatever was at hand.

It was then that Amano, having had enough of it all, drew his 
tranquilizer gun and expertly put a single dart into Bluebeard's bum 
(the left one, if you must know). An adverse reaction to the drug soon 
had him down on the floor barking like a dog (still not clothed, mind 
you). After chasing everyone around the table once, he leapt through 
an open window and made good his escape. He was last seen with the 
mood "looking for a piece of Amano's tail". We will, of course, 
attempt to verify that just as soon as we can find another newsdroid.


**>> REDECORATION PAINS

Hammering, sawing and the occasional detonation continue to be heard 
in the vicinity of Citadel's sector within Sphinx Duchyspace, where 
the shrouded planet revolves in its cloaked orbit. Eyewitnesses have 
seen cargo-bargeships emerging from the planet's paisley covering, 
loaded with tons of little scraps of fabric, wallpaper, border-paper 
and moldings. This debris is apparently being dumped willy-nilly into 
open space. Until Federation bureaucrats manage to slap a restraining 
order on the environmentally-abusive Tellurani ne Galdur preventing 
this pollution, pilots are urged to take precautionary flight tactics 
when venturing into the sector.


**>> MOSQUITO MISSING!

It's been reported that the sweet and innocent (yes, and wide-eyed) 
Mosquito is missing from her home-planet, Kama. Authorities are 
presently  investigating a number of leads in connection with the 
disappearance. Various theories to explain the lady's whereabouts have 
surfaced. Has she been abducted by Martians? Did she fly into a black 
hole? Did the techdroid accidentally project her into a parallel 
universe on AOL? Has she gone off with Admiral? Did she fly too close 
to Citadel and get eaten by a frantic Spuderoni, sent into overdrive 
by looking at too many Laura Ashley swatches bobbing around her in 
mid-space?

Our on-the-spot newsdroid reports that all available contingencies are 
being aggressively pursued. However, one development in the case is 
puzzling. The Thane's current husband, long known for his flammable 
temper, was brought to Federation Police Headquarters for questioning 
this week. No further details have been released on this aspect of the 
case, however, the Baron was seen departing the Police department some 
time after his questioning in his white Bronco-harrier.


**>> WEDDING BELLS

This week, after an inconvenient postponement due to a Federation 
hiccup, we saw the happy union of two of Fed's prominent citizens. The 
blushing bride, Kirchansky was wedded to her love, Trafalgar in a 
touching ceremony in Epini's grand Gallery.

Although its unclear whether Federation bylaws allow fathers to 
officiate at their offspring's nuptials, nonetheless, Duke Budwarp did 
the honors, with Marcia acting as Kirchansky's Matron of Honor and 
Drspock standing up for Trafalgar as Best Man.

The ceremony began as Budwarp arranged candles and gold candlestick 
holders on the altar (brought in, reportedly, at great expense for the 
occasion), along with a stiletto and chalice. It was notable that the 
ceremony was an orthodox one, as Budwarp intoned, "I Budwarp, twice 
born empowered, do sanctify this chapel, this altar, and implore the 
blessings of St. Pegasus!" The attending newsdroid then noted a 
curious, gold-colored light begin to illuminate the large chamber.

Budwarp ascertained that the pair had come before him under no duress, 
asking, 'Kirchansky and Trafalgar, you come before this assemblage 
this evening to pledge yourselves to each other. Do you do this of 
your own Free Will?' When he was answered in the affirmative, he asked 
the pair to join hands. He then took a candle and placed it into the 
first gold candlestick holder, intoning 'This white candle signifies 
fidelity. Do you pledge your unwavering faith, loyalty and trust to 
each other without reservation?' As the couple murmured their assent, 
the candle self-coruscated with a soft flare. The next two candles 
were utilized in the same fashion, the red signifying passion and the 
gold symbolizing love. When all three were cheerfully flickering their 
soft light over the assemblage, Budwarp took the stiletto and swiftly 
made a cut in the clasped hands of the lovers. As blood filled the 
awaiting chalice, the Duke miraculously healed the wounds with a pass 
of his hand, leaving only faint scars.

** Side note: This new power of miraculous healing by Ducal leaders 
has sparked a brisk investigation and this publication hopes to bring 
you a full report in soon-to-come issues.

Duke Budwarp swirled the contents of the chalice, mixing it and 
proclaiming 'Your blood as one signifies that your lives will be as 
one... two people sharing life together forever.' 

When Budwarp was just then rudely spirited away from the gathering, it 
was automatically blamed on Baron Oxcart, who was conveniently in 
attendance. It was a very short while later that the missing Duke was 
returned to carry on. From that point, Grannie took it upon herself to 
sit by Oxcart with a mind to controlling him. Although he squirmed and 
fidgeted, he eventually succumbed.

Taking the stone chalice, Budwarp bid the Matron of Honor place the 
gold ring (presumably once again provided by Baroness Dierdre) into 
the grisly contents of the cup. When Trafalgar just then exclaimed, 
'No!' everyone gasped, thinking the groom had been stricken with a 
case of stage fright. But it was soon obvious that he'd merely been 
overcome with confusion over which ring was which and who was holding 
them.

Drspock was next asked to add the second gold ring (also with the 
prominent stamp from Covian Goldmines inside it and sporting a huge 
diamond) to the mix. When it was noticed that the groom, eyeing the 
mixture, was about to pass out, Grannie was moved to comment, 'These 
nervous young grooms!' and passed Drspock the smelling salts.

However, it might conceivably have been Budwarp who needed the salts 
more. Just then he fell into a stupor and began to speak in tongues. 
Whereupon, guests were treated to the appropriate fireworks and the 
rings were whisked out of the chalice and up above the couple's heads. 
And there they hovered. Seeing valuable gold so hazardously exposed, 
Budwarp immediately snapped out of his delirium and snatched them out 
of the air. At once, he launched right back into the ceremony without 
missing a beat.

Handing the rescued rings to the couple, Budwarp asked each of them to 
repeat his words. The glowing, young bride echoed him, saying, 'I, 
Kirchansky, do pledge my love, my trust and my life to you, Trafalgar, 
until the universe ends.'

The groom next emulated her words with the suitable name substitution 
and they exchanged the rings.

The couple was finally entreated to share a kiss to seal the union, 
and Budwarp proclaimed them wed, saying, 'I call upon the power of 
eternal love to join these two rings and this man and woman as one. 
Let none who try to break or harm this bond survive their deed! With 
the powers of twice born and eternal love, I proclaim thee Husband and 
Wife!'

As Kirchansky and Trafalgar were wished all happiness and little net 
bags of rice were passed out to throw at them, our newsdroid noticed 
Oxcart stuff a few of the rice bags into his shorts and suddenly 
appear much more confident. However, soon after, Grannie (having been 
momentarily forgetful while sniffly over the ceremony) turned her 
attention back to shepherding the wily Baron.

Kirchansky tossed her stunning bouquet into the air, where the flowers 
were seen to miraculously hover for some time. It's under strong 
suspicion that this too was connected with the mysterious new Ducal 
powers. Then suddenly, the blooms, appearing to have a mind of their 
own, streaked through the air and nailed Grannie squarely atop her 
head!

Although Grannie protested that she had no one to marry, it's been 
noticed in days hence, a growing number of bachelors have been 
cruising CD's, asking about Grannie's whereabouts. When our newsdroid 
cornered one and inquired about his intentions, he confided that he 
was driven to seek out Grannie after hearing she'd been afflicted with 
the strange 'Amy Syndrome' (details of which were reported here some 
weeks ago.)

A rousing reception was hosted later at the Cabana and people were 
seen to have a grand time. We're sure everyone will join in Budwarp's 
sentiments... 'Rejoice all and join me in wishing this joyous couple 
all the best life can conceivably provide!'


**>> SPYNET REVIEW

Alas, poor Merchant Fallon... he died in Atlantis, presumably by 
forgetting about insurance. He's started climbing back up the ranks, 
and is now an Adventurer.

The new Captains of the week were Elahrairah, Pooh, Sailor, Eregor, 
Euon, Flacon, Diletta, Scarecrow and Fallon (back from the dead).

Goldberry, Malmsbury and Fallon are now Adventurers/euses.

The Traders Guild has admitted Flick, Glinda and Lorelei.

Flick was promoted to Merchant.

Amano, Instill and Zedd showed their prowess at running companies and 
promoted to JP.


**>> CONTACTS

The following information will appear at the end of every News 
Bulletin, so you don't have to read it if you already know it.

The current Federation Game Hosts are: Freya, Porcupine, Lyrynna, 
Grannie, Sparky, Zzzax, Geezer, Magneto, Syfari and Goblin. Their 
function is to answer questions, help new players get started, and 
make fun things happen.

In the event of a problem or question, you can:

* talk to Hazed or one of the Game Hosts in the game

* <SEND> a message to Hazed

* send mail on your host system to the Federation team:
  on GEnie, mail FEDII.2 or use the option on the main Fed page
  on Delphi, mail FED2 or use the option on the main Fed page
  on Cris, mail FEDERATION2

You can buy a copy of the very excellent Idiot's Guide to Federation 
for the paltry sum of $15.95. On GEnie, type ORDER from any main menu 
page. On Delphi and Cris, send a check for $15.95 to: Leah Parker, 
4543 La Crescenta Avenue, La Crescenta, CA 91214-2912.

**>> BULLETIN ENDS