LINE NOISE News from Chez Diesel 3 July, 1988 Another poor innocent Captain was viciously assassination last night by four thugs from the sinister Conclave - the Mafia-like organisation which has control of Fed Data Space sewn up completely. Actually he deserved everything he got. Wizard, a refugee from Mud and Shades (he claims to be a Wiz on Mud) arrived on the scene yesterday and secured a loan from B&Z to make Captain. Two Traders were reminiscing over a pint of Diesel's Old Peculiar (Pegasus: I remember when it took more than two hours to make Captain - Pugwash: yes but do you remember when it took three weeks to become a Commander?) The inexperienced Wizard then broadcast announcements about how wise and wonderful and all-powerful he was, and how he was the best in the game. Not only did all this shouting disturb the mighty musings of Pegs and Pugs, they were rather irritated by a pleb claiming to be the superstar of Fed. As a friendly gentle warning they put a small reward on Wizard's head. Wizard noticed this reward and started challenging Pegasus to a fight. (Given Pegs' reputation as the meanest son-of-a- bitch in the solar system this was probably not a good idea!) Obviously Pegs was unable to oblige - since fighting won't be implemented for two weeks - but Wizard took his refusal as cowardice! As a further gentle reminder, the reward was increased. Then Wizard displayed truly suicidal tendencies - he started to swear - and to insult Pugwash! She was not too impressed by Wizard calling her a slag - and neither were the other players, who joined in the reward-upping. Enter Traders Toranaga and Bilbo, who, once they had been told the story, increased the reward to 8000 groats. Wizard now started to panic at the size of the reward, and spun a sob-story about being picked on by the Traders, we should be nice to him because he was only 12 (at which everyone expressed surprise - they had thought he was MUCH younger!) The four Traders combined their might to up the reward to over 10K - which must be a record! Poor little Wiz decided he had better apologise before things got worse. He grovelled and asked if the Traders could please remove the reward. Now most people know that the only way to get rid of a reward is to become an adventurer - when it is zeroed - or to die. So when Bilbo said he would lead Wiz to a location where the reward could be removed, he should have been just a little suspicious. But he evidently thought that since Bilbo had given him a loan he was on his side, so Bilbo carefully led him deep into the Martian Ruins, to the Altar, and told him to go down and lose his reward. Which he did! - like a lamb to the slaughter - and, of course, was sacrificed extremely messily much to the joy of all on-lookers. Enter one very bemused Groundhog Wizard, deeply hurt by the cruel and callous treatment he had received. Quite what he was complaining about I am not sure - after all, he got what he had been promised - his reward was certainly taken away! And the silly boy then started to nag Bilbo about giving him another loan! I would have thought his credit rating had plumetted well below zero! When fighting comes in it will be much easier to dispose of nuisances - but not half so much fun! The moral of the story.... DON'T MESS WITH THE TRADERS! Spybeam Equipment, which had been promised for today, failed to materialise - it's hoped we shall see it next week - but disappointed Traders who were looking forward to using vast amounts of their filthy lucre to snoop on other players, were somewhat mollified by the appearance of two new commands which meant they could their beer and each other. It isn't easy being a Trader you know... Poor Zugger found himself on Mercury without a ship due to a bug in the parser which led to him accidentally putting his ship up for auction! He managed to hitch a lift back to Earth with Our Illustrious Leader - for a hefty fee! Don't forget to mbx me with any news or gossip you have. And pop in to my place for a pint of Diesel's Old Peculiar!