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EARTHDATE: November 2004

FED FUNNIES

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In the Fed Funnies for December 2004:
POSTS OF THE MONTH
MOODS OF THE MONTH
QUOTES OF THE MONTH
CLOTHES OF THE MONTH
DRINKING LESSON OF THE MONTH
DISGUSTING HABIT, OR MARKETING OPPORTUNITY, OF THE MONTH
EXCHANGE EVENTS OF THE MONTH


POSTS OF THE MONTH

Stardate: 109923:0873 - Hazed: Don't forget, clocks went back one hour last night. So it's earlier than you think!
Stardate: 109923:5264 - Killer: Clocks going back! No problem. I've turned back all the clocks I have. And I still missed the extra hour of sleep.
Stardate: 109923:6144 - Squeeky: if clocks are going back by them selves it makes me wonder if any thing elce will go back :)

Stardate: 109935:4558 - Rissa: You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him. -Leo Aikman

Stardate: 109950:2449 - Ferreri: I've been here all morning hoping to read something clever on the board and it's empty!
109951:1496 - Wally: Something clever

Stardate: 109951:1695 - Gandolf: There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life. - Frank Zappa

Stardate: 109953:3320 - Pesoge: I've seen the writing on the wall, and it needs revision.

Stardate: 109958:5748 - Gandroid: I would rather be hated for who I am than to be loved for someone I am not.

Stardate: 109992:6705 - Gandolf: Every program has two purposes -- one for which it was written and another for which it wasn't.
Stardate: 109992:8785 - Ferreri: That's because it usually breaks when you use it for the purpose for which it was written.

Stardate: 110000:7853 - Gandolf: No matter where I go, there I am.

Stardate: 110009:4660 - Hazed: Never go to bed angry - stay up and fight!
Stardate: 110009:4851 - Vlad: Act crazy and people will leave you alone
Stardate: 110010:1266 - Squeeky: why act crazy when we can play fed :)
Stardate: 110012:8052 - Ralphc: Or just be crazy and you don't need too act or play fed;)
Stardate: 110013:3302 - Josmo: I think Ralph left angry.
Stardate: 110014:0450 - Gandolf: we must be crazy to play fed all night

Stardate: 110014:1820 - Buddy: When life gives you lemons, force feed them to life and laugh when life makes that sour face;)

213233:652 - Wolfyn: The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.

Stardate: 110018:0954 - Hazed: I used to eat a lot of natural foods, until I realised that most people die of natural causes.

Stardate: 110023:5201 - Freya: The amount of sleep needed by the average person is ten minutes more.

Stardate: 110078:6330 - Gandolf: A day without sunshine is like night.
Stardate: 110078:7600 - Squeeky: a day without fed is like a day without sunshine :)
Stardate: 110079:2740 - Gandolf: Playing fed at night lights up my day.

Stardate: 110054:9906 - Gandolf: No matter where I go, futures are suspended.
Stardate: 110055:0938 - Ferreri: I know how you feel, I don't think I have much of a future either.

Stardate: 110088:8771 - Freya: We do what we must, and call it by the best names. - R W Emerson

Stardate: 110095:1242 - Hazed: Horse sense is good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people - W C Fields

213243:670 - Wolfyn: Seems like quite a few people spend the first 6 days of each week sowing wild oats, then go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.

Stardate: 110095:9445 - Hazed: Women's total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage - Gloria Steinem
Stardate: 110097:6141 - Ferreri: A man builds a home, a woman makes one.
Stardate: 110100:0058 - Miasma: Either that or she just lets you build it and then takes half ;)

Stardate: 110102:0597 - Gandolf: Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with

Stardate: 110104:8596 - Freya: To err is human. To moo, bovine.

Stardate: 110128:6451 - Freya: I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.

Stardate: 110150:7298 - Freya: Somebody has to do something, and it's just incredibly pathetic that it has to be us. - Jerry Garcia

MOODS OF THE MONTH

Wearing a 'My droid went to the Kajagoo comet and all I got was this stupid shirt' t-shirt, Gandolf has just arrived.

Wearing a t-shirt that says, "Ask me about my insanity" Vlad has left.

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Ferreri, "I thought playing Fed would be a hobby... didn't work out"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Freya, "Playing Fed is not a hobby, it's a lifestyle"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "No, it's not a lifestyle, it's life"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nightdroid, "Good morning"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Nightdroid, "Or as we say in Droid language, "beep""
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Pesoge, "Beep to you too then"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwarrior, "how are you today?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Fine thanks. Slaving over a hot newsdroid."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwarrior, "lol.. isn't the newsdroid the one who is supposed to be slaving?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "You have no idea how much hard work is involved in supervising the newsdroids"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Watching them toil is just exhausting"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwarrior, "lol, I bet"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Why, I almost broke into a sweat"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwarrior, "wow.. and that is odd for you"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "I know, demi-goddesses don't normally do anything so crude as perspire"

Ferreri says, "I assume I'm the only one with a lag problem"
Nightdroid says, "Yes, we surveyed the entire Internet population. It's just you. Sorry."
Ferreri says, "That was quick, must be at least a billion out there"
Nightdroid nods
Nightdroid says, "The Internet is fast though, so we can do these kinds of things."
Hazed says, "Except when there's lag"
Nightdroid asks, "Perhaps it's not the Internet. Perhaps there's a problem with the space-time continuum?"
Nightdroid says, "I'll call a quantum mechanic."

CLOTHES OF THE MONTH

>ex gandroid
This droid has no imagination today, so it is simply covered in a mirror-like cloth. Here's looking at you!

DRINKING LESSON OF THE MONTH

Hazed has bought you a glass of something pink and frothy with a cherry in it, orange, lemon and lime slices, icecubes shaped like elephants, a Chez Diesel swizzle stick, a curly straw, a pink umbrella and a monkey hanging off the side of the glass
Nightdroid says, "That's a very complicated drink"
Nightdroid asks, "Is there a special technique required to consume it?"
Hazed says, "Yes. First, remove the monkey and put it on the table. You can then enjoy watching its antics."
Hazed says, "Next, remove the swizzle stick - failure to do so could result in you poking yourself in the eye (or equivalent)"
Hazed says, "At this point, you have a choice. You can slurp the drink, and leave the fruity bits till last - or you can spear the bits of fruit out of the pink liquid, using the aforementioned swizzle stick"
Hazed says, "Making a kind of fruit kebab"
Hazed says, "Whichever way round you do it, you should also take care not to swallow the umbrella, which could be a choking hazard"
Hazed says, "The straw, of course, should be used for drinking the actual liquid content of the drink"
Nightdroid says, "Ah."
Nightdroid makes a note of that
Hazed says, "And finally, if there are any elephant ice cubes left in the glass by the time you've finished, you can crunch them between your teeth."
Hazed says, "Or alternatively, drop them down the neck of a friend"
Hazed says, "The only problem you are left with, is safe disposal of the monkey"
Hazed says, "If you are unsure what to do with the animal, your waitdroid will take it away for recycling"
Nightdroid decides to use the usual droid drinking technique and swallows the entire drink at once, glass, swizzle stick, and monkey included. There is an irritating grinding noise for a few seconds.
Nightdroid says, "Mmm... delicious."
Hazed says, "Or, you could just ingest the whole thing in one go"
Hazed sighs

DISGUSTING HABIT, OR MARKETING OPPORTUNITY, OF THE MONTH

Hazed pulls a disgusted face and spits into what she thought was a spitoon, but turns out to be an abandoned space helmet.
Nightdroid says, "I hope it's abandoned"
Nightdroid supposes this is one advantage to being a droid -- no space suit required
Hazed says, "Well nobody's wearing it now. That counts as abandoned in my book."
Hazed is a demi-goddess, she can spit where she likes!
Nightdroid nods
Nightdroid says, "I think I read that in some Holy Book once"
Hazed says, "I am sure my saliva even has divine properties. People should be grateful if I spit on them."
Hazed says, "In fact, maybe there's a marketing possibility here... I could bottle my dribble and sell it"
Nightdroid says, "Some people pay money for that sort of thing"
Nightdroid says, "They probably have vending machines in Japan for that"
Hazed says, "I wonder how much I could charge."

EXCHANGE EVENTS OF THE MONTH

Stardate: 109918:7811 - Racingnut: The Lattice: A serious warehouse fire seems likely to cause shortages of livestock. Yeah now that would seem likely wouldnt it?
Stardate: 109919:2681 - Gandolf: livestock on a leisure planet? Oh, yeah..... cow tipping!

Stardate: 109928:5010 - Racingnut: Selena: A serious warehouse fire seems likely to cause shortages of clays. Well they'll have ample supply of concrete

Stardate: 109928:8681 - Gandolf: Earth: A new fad is causing an increase in demand for weapons. It is sad, but all too true.

Stardate: 109971:1923 - Racingnut: Mercury: Reports are coming in of an explosion in a livestock factory. Must of been the methane from the....well never mind

Stardate: 110027:5174 - Racingnut: Venus: New taxes on studios are expected to depress demand. Well I suppose they could always keep replaying "Gone With the Wind" everyday

Stardate: 110027:6115 - Hazed: Selena: A new process for making tools has been discovered. So how did they make tools before they invented the tools to make the tools?

Stardate: 110029:0793 - Fancy: Hmm, not one, but TWO warehouse fires on Doris with their clays. I've heard of re-firing, but that's going a little overboard.


If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, Month or Year, send them to feedback@ibgames.com.


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