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WEB FED NEWS YEARBOOKS Earthdate April 1999 |
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WEB FED NEWS YEARBOOKS Earthdate April 1999 |
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OFFICIAL
NEWS |
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The access problems that plagued Fed the latter part of March finally got sorted out, and as a thank you to all the players for being so patient, we held a Free Weekend. Lots of old friends came back, as well as a good sprinkling of brand new players. Counterfeit groats flooded the Galaxy, and were swiftly confiscated again, when players found two bugs to exploit which manufactured vast wealth - see the story below. A new version of FedTerm32 introduced a text alert which allows you to walk away from the computer, but be called back when anything happens. Very useful! Download FedTerm32 at http://www.ibgames.net/federation/fedterm/fedterm32.html. Easter was celebrated with the Easter Bunny provided the usual fun, including being the not-so-surprise guest at a fighting event! An archive account of The Making of the Idiot's Guide, describing the origin of the Fed manual, was published at www.ibgames.net/federation/archive/compunet1988/making.html. Kyushusan was awarded the rarely-given Walrus of Merit for excellence in planet design, for his wonderful Japanese-style world, Honshu. Hazed added to her personal web site, f-space, with (among other things) an article on tele-commuting, or working from home: http://www.ibgames.net/fi/whatsnew.html.
Of course, you can't please all of the people. Amongst all the "thank you" messages I have received from people who are delighted that they can play for free this weekend, I actually received a letter complaining about it. Yes, someone complained about the free weekend. For the life of me, I couldn't understand the substance of his complaint, but it just goes to show that whatever we do, someone, somewhere, will find something to complain about.
We've got quite a straightforward policy on bugs. If you find a bug which does some damage to your Fed character or causes you to lose anything, we will usually make good those losses. On the other hand, if you find a bug which means you gain something, then provided you report it to us we will usually allow you to keep what you gain, as a reward for you having told us - unless the amount is so huge as to give you an unfair advantage or upset the balance of the Galactic economy. However, if you find a bug which works to your advantage, and you exploit it for gain and do not report it, then when we find out we will take the gains away. Early last week, two separate incidents occurred on the same night where players found a bug which enabled them to make a large amount of money. In bug number one, the person who found the bug kept the news to himself and used the bug to enhance his three characters. The person who found bug number two, which all but filled up his bank balance each time he exploited it, decided to be an altruist by spreading his ill-gotten gains around. Many people were surprised and delighted to receive large gifts, not suspecting the origin of the groats. Many of these people passed money onto further people. The ripples of groats spread far and wide as counterfeit money flooded the Galactic economy. As always happens, we found out about the bugs and fixed them. Thanks to those of you who reported that something strange was going on. We also knew who the perpetrators were, and who had been given unfeasibly large amounts of groats, and we took steps to remove these illegal groats from the game. Everyone involved had the positions of their Fed characters put back to the day before. Obviously not everyone who received groats from the perpetrator was aware that the groats were illicit, but we could not allow such a huge amount of manufactured groats to stay in the game. You should know who the person who exploited the bug is - so you should express your extreme displeasure to him at the inconvenience he caused you by his false generosity. And next time someone offers you such a large gift for no good reason, ask youself why. If it seems too good to be true - it probably is!
DISPATCH
FROM THE SOUTH SEAS Greetings from the sunny tropics! Here we are under the blue cloudless skies of Kiribati in the warm south Pacific islands. We survived the amazing miniature landing strips at Guam airport. We then ran the gauntlet of friendly native guides offering us everything from authentic Japanese WWII souvenirs to Swim With The Sharks excursions. We all took turns beating Icedrake over the head when he suggested Swimming with the Sharks sounded like a more environmentally conscious choice over getting filthy drunk at the Jacuzzi. He rapidly came to his senses. We eventually made our way over to the main island and our hotel where we all rushed to plug in our laptops and check our email and Fed Builds. All except Icedrake who stood around murmuring that he was sure Sharks were simply misunderstood and that a Swim With experience would bring us all closer. We hit him a bit more. Friday was spent exploring Guam. When we get home, we'll put together a web page showing you all pictures we took of waterfalls and cliffs and ancient ruins and the lagoon where we did NOT go Swimming With The Sharks. There will possibly be photos of Blaze wearing her tropical selection of naughty red lingerie if the deal with the German Tabloids falls through. Arrogant was the Host With The Most, expertly captaining our sailboat and restraining himself from strangling people who shall remain nameless who kept referring to Swims With Sharks. Late Friday night, after a lazy dinner on board the deck of the sailboat, we all waved a fond farewell to Guam. Arrogant set course for Kiribati and got out the RISK board. The violent nature of that game was such that decency forbids me to provide any details. We are however negotiating with Soldier of Fortune magazine for the videos of Blaze (in red scanty lingerie) disputing Barb's move (in 6" high heels and black lace naughty bits) into Kamchatka. Fireimp and Icedrake swear they did not move any markers. Saturday morning we arrived at the island harbor and, plugging into the power mains, sewer and phone links, we once more powered up our laptops and connected back to the world. We found a mysterious email from Hazed promising us an Easter morning surprise. Arrogant lead us on a morning snorkeling session, teaching us the wisdom of Breathe-Thru-The-Tube-Don't-Open-Your-Mouth-To-Comment. We're off to explore Kiribati now... more in our next dispatch from the 2nd Annual Pacific Rim Fed UnCon 99 next week!
2nd
ANNUAL PACIFIC RIM FED UNCON We came, we partied, we survived! Once more this little band of intrepid Fedders has held an Official April 1 International Fed UnCon - this year in Guam and Kiribati on the Pacific Rim and returned to tell the tale. We started arriving on the morning of April 1 at Guam Airport; spending that first day relaxing around Guam and sightseeing, waiting for eveyone to arrive and gather at the hotel. The next day we all moved aboard Arrogant's sailboat, our centre of operations for the rest of UnCon. We sailed on to the island paradise of Pohnpei and then on to Kiribati. We mixed sightseeing with relaxing hours on the boat playing marathon RISK. At Kiribati we went scuba diving in coral reefs largely untouched since the Marines hit the beaches last in WWII. Our last day provided us with a stunning Easter surprise we'll never forget... Hazed parachuting down onto our sailboat's deck! I've asked a few of those who attended April 1's 2nd Annual Pacific Rim UnCon in Guam some questions about their experiences and present them to you below. The question asked was, "What was your favorite incident and least favorite moment at UnCon?": Blaze: My favorite moment was Fireimp's face when I walked out on deck dressed in red lace lingerie and red stockings and garters. My least favorite moment was when the rude natives refused to sell me a very underutilised ancient ruin that was just going to waste sitting there doing nothing. Fireimp: My least favorite would be confusing an exotic jellyfish for Blaze's red lingerie while snorkelling. My other least favorite moment was Arrogant asking the bush pilot who flew us to Guam if he could do a power dive so we could experience weightlessness before he set us down. My favorite moment was killing a wild boar on Kiribati with a flare gun. Icedrake: My favorite moment was Blaze trying to buy an ancient ruin. My least favorite moment was trying to be pushed out of the belltower for suggesting we Swim With The Sharks. Arrogant: My favorite moment was when Barb came out of her cabin dressed in those lovely high heels and stockings and suspenders. My least favorite moment was when she pulled on her wet suit over the lovely stockings and suspenders, took off the high heels and put on huge flippers. Kipanther: My favorite moment was Arrogant attempting to remove the bathing suit tops of the girls while a tramp steamer was passing by us and the sailers were whistling and calling to us. My least favorite was when the girls made that move into Kamchatka in the all night Risk Game just as we ran out of booze and they announced the boys forfeit the game if we went into town for another bottle. Nightdroid: My moment of terror was Easter morning; looking up and seeing Hazed plummeting down at us from the sky above moments before her parachute opened. My favorite moment was when the curtains in the girls' cabin blew open in the wind...owww!! No no, sorry Oww!! that was my least favorite, in fact I never saw a thing! Owwww!! Hazed: My favorite moment was diving down on everyone below with this lovely feeling of total control. My least favorite moment was everyone screaming, "Mothra!" and scattering as I came in to land on the deck. You can share the experience with us by clicking on this URL: http://members.aol.com/tardisfile/uncon99.html.
Hi there... I know that you are very busy and that April is a very busy month for us all, what with tax time upon us. That is what I am writing to you about. I would like my W-2 form from Fed, so that I can send it into you to get my money back from all the tax that I have had to pay when I haul from duchy to duchy. And I have spent more than my share in the past year. I do hope to hear from you soon, Thank you for your time,
Thank you for your letter of the 30th of last month, asking for your tax form. Unfortunately, I cannot oblige by sending you the form which you request (form 1547-45-A) because your request for said form was not made on the appropriate form. Yours unhelpfully,
FROM THE POSTBAG: NOSTALGIA TIME Ah, this takes me back... time was that Feedback mail would be full of letters from people having done this!
So it was with a wistful sigh of nostalgia that I composed a reply to this unfortunate fellow, as follows:
Dear Feedback, This just occured to me. The computers that Fed runs on, are they Y2K compliant?
Dear Kurn, Since the Federation game is set far in the future, the year 2000 has already passed and is a long way behind us. Consulting the history books we see that although there was some disruption in essential services throughout the world at the passing of the millenium, civilization did not come to an end and those who headed for the hills ended up looking rather foolish. And yes, the Federation computers weathered the date change quite satisfactorily. We are now in consultation with programmers to ensure that our computers are fully Year 10K compliant.
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