WEB FED NEWS YEARBOOKS
Earthdate November 2002


OFFICIAL NEWS


INSIDE SCOOP


FED FUNNIES


What was in November 2002's Fed Funnies:

POSTS OF THE MONTH
MOODS OF THE MONTH
PARADOXICAL MOOD OF THE WEEK
OUT OF DATE MOOD OF THE WEEK
QUOTES OF THE MONTH
CLOTHES OF THE WEEK
HINT OF THE WEEK
TEMPTATION OF THE MONTH
FLATTERY OF THE MONTH
QUESTION OF THE MONTH
DRINK OF THE MONTH

POSTS OF THE MONTH

212488:888 - Tesmur: There only two things a man needs to know to make it in life; How to say Yes Mom and Yes Dear.

212489:189 - Wolfyn: Families are about love overcoming emotional torture.

212491:552 - Gpx: *Holds a Knife*Your IG or your Stamina.
212491:557 - Xorna: Take my Groats!!! I'm saving my Stamina for tonight :)

212491:557 - Esperanza: I've found it!!! The ultimate in the age old problem! A U.S. company has come out with a toilet night-light that sends out a green warning beacon when the seat is up. It's safe in the middle of the night again.
212491:640 - Jerden: I always thought the best way to avoid problems with raised toilet seats is to turn the light on when entering the bathroom ::ducks flames::

212491:659 - Validar: Difference between a bad day and a horrible day. Bad day, you think your boss is an a*s, horrible day, you realize you work for yourself. :)

212493:621 - Esperanza: It's all in perspective. Roughly 2000 people were injured/killed in all forms of airplane crashes in 2001 but 4000 people were injured/killed by teapots. Wouldn't this suggest that making tea is twice as dangerous as flying?

212494:059 - Pico: Are you a PO looking for a new place to house your planet? Did your Duke/Duchess just bite it big time?? Well stay the heck away from Krypt! You aren't wanted! I don't need your planet! Go elsewhere! No freeloaders!

212494:656 - Wolfyn: Anyone who eats three meals a day should understand why cookbooks outsell sex books three to one.
212494:741 - Kenetix: Wolfyn! This is your hello. <g> <slobberly licks>
212494:783 - Saira: Anyone who has sex three times a day should understand why they miss a meal or two ;)

212495:619 - Wolfyn: Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
212495:706 - Heatherjn: Questions? Is that what sex raises? Hmmm ... ;)

212496:560 - Wolfyn: Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

212496:753 - Blirish: USeagle you did us proud! Congrats on bringing the Guts and Glory Trophy to Aries!!!!
212496:803 - Cen: I'll be impressed when he brings actual guts and intestines to Aries. :D

212497:125 - Vlad: Why do chicken coops have two doors? Because if it had four doors it'd be a chicken sedan.

212497:568 - Hazed: Dogs will come when called. Cats will take a message and get back to you.

212500:133 - Danny: Danny, I love you with every fiber of my being. I couldn't have done anything I've done without you. Without you, I'm nothing. Literally.

212500:156 - Wolfyn: The church is near, but the way is icy. The tavern is far, but I will walk carefully. -Ukranian Proverb

212503:207 - Wolfyn: Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
212503:207 - Jazir: Darn right, we just make really cool home videos of them ;)

212504:149 - Ruy: I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

212503:731 - Kblackdragon: I hauled a lot...yay me. Stupid planet...

212505:925 - Artscrafter: Why no Fed player would make a good politician: Everyone is guilty of bribery, most are guilty of supporting prostitution, and many are guilty of vandalism. Why no bored officials would make good politicians: They're bought way too easily.
212505:928 - Rchubb: I beg to differ.... a fed player would make a great politician;) Everyone is guilty of bribery, most are guilty of supporting prostitution, and many are guilty of vandalism. see.... all the major job requirements;)

212509:439 - Wolfyn: We have women in the military, but not on the front lines. They're not sure if we can kill or fight. All the generals would have to do is say, "See the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms!"

212509:827 - Jonathan: Good leaders make people feel that they're at the very heart of things, not at the periphery.
212509:834 - Cen: Good Prophets make people feel scared about vague things not just specifics.

212509:835 - Rockwell: Thought provoking question of the day: Has anyone ever wondered why our workthings need explosives?
212509:862 - Circuitborg: Our workthings need explosives because they are Lemmings.

212511:797 - Ops: The galaxy is changed. I feel it in the water, the soil and the air. Much that once was is lost, for few now live who remember it. History became legend and legend became myth. Many have diminished and passed into another realm.
212511:839 - Wolfyn: And in some cases we're darn glad.

212512:572 - Esperanza: You may notice the increasing amount of notices for you to notice. We have also noticed that some of our notices have not been noticed. Therefore, this notice is to remind you to notice the notices. Thank you from the Notice Committee.

212513:058 - Macnbc: "You instruct your officials to do a misinformation build, but they don't believe you for some reason.."

212513:103 - Wolfyn: Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot and a great big bag of money.
212513:116 - Foamfollower: gimme the cash, I'll bribe the locals to change the things you cannot, and hire a hit man so you won't need a great deal of strength either!

212514:527 - Thulium: >>Thanksgiving on Thorus<< 200 megs for the first three (3) NON-PO's (Capt to Exp, only) to find the turkey on Thorus. (Finding the Duke doesn't count ;) Happy Thanksgiving Week! :)

MOODS OF THE MONTH

Committing the Village Idiot, Kella has just arrived.

Carving pumpkins with twin lasers, Chewbacon is here.

Sleep? Floozies don't sleep! Rikkytikki has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

The dream dies with the dreamer. Ditzy has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

With a Shimmer of Travel Effect, Placebo has just disappeared.

But I wanted to be the Borg Queen! Wolfyn is here.

"your message here" Wyldcat has just arrived.

I prefer to eat the rude. Priscilla is here.

PARADOXICAL MOOD OF THE WEEK

The ever-absent one, Aorek has just arrived.

OUT OF DATE MOOD OF THE WEEK

y2K compliant Jamel has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

Nightdroid asks, "Oh dear, do I have to be an action figure?"
"How much do you cost?", asks Cen.
"I don't know, I've never tried to buy me.", says Nightdroid.

Hazed says, "You could be an inaction figure"
"I think that would be much better.", says Nightdroid.
"The Nightdroid action figure, with non-moveable limbs and realistic-looking beer.", says Nightdroid.
"Press the button on its back and a tiny speaker tells you to go away", says Nightdroid.

Cen says, "Life's not fair"
Nightdroid says, "Yes, but I don't see why that has to apply to me. It would be fine for life to be unfair for other people instead."

"brb", says Backspace.
Backspace has just left.
Haeger hmmmms.. If I hit Backspace would I return to here?
Galinfenner laughs
Backspace has just arrived.
Haeger smiles

"I got the Sports Night box set.", says Geiiga.
"Is that good?", asks Nightdroid.
Geiiga says, "Best show in the history of ABC."
"There's nothing better than Sports Night.", says Geiiga.
Nightdroid says, "Sex."
"If they start making new episodes, I would start passing up sex for Sports Night.", says Geiiga.
"Fine, send me the girl you're not having sex with as a result.", says

Nightdroid.
Geiiga says, "I'd postpone sex half an hour for Sports Night."
"I wouldn't. They make VCRs for a reason.", says Nightdroid.

Your comm unit relays a message from Macnbc, "nite 9"
Your comm unit relays a message from Snowlily, "Well that would be nice, Mac, but you're on 10. ;-)"

CLOTHES OF THE WEEK

>ex priscilla
Priscilla is wearing a shirt that reads, "I spent $17.99 and all I got was this lousy Horsell T-shirt - where is my complimentary Hazed doll?"

>ex priscilla
A stunning blue-sequined tophat sits on his head. Mounted on top is a flashing display that reads: "FedPardy Queen! Question: Who is Priscilla?!"

>ex geiiga
It's Geiiga. What did you expect, Dick Clark?

HINT OF THE WEEK (seen on a Guild Master)

An agent for the Fund to Promote Artscrafter is here.

TEMPTATION OF THE MONTH

Artscrafter waits patiently to see the first income in... Must... resist... temptation.../ to... clear...
>c pri crys gdi
Crystals - exchange buys at 2,091 IG/ton
>clear fac 4
All stock on hand has now been delivered...
"So much for willpower", says Obelisk.

FLATTERY OF THE MONTH

212508:021 - Tesmur: Mirror Mirror on the wall, Who is the greatest Demi-Godess of them all? Hazed, I say!!!
212508:668 - Tesmur: Mirror Mirror on the Wall, Who is the greatest Demi-Goddess of Them ALL? We ALL Know It Is Hazed!!!
212509:008 - Priscilla: Tesmur is about as subtle as a brick being thrown through a window.

QUESTION OF THE MONTH

in the grip of The Hand of Doom, Ripntear has just arrived.
Cen asks, "Hey Rip do you do that with your left hand or right?"

DRINK OF THE MONTH

Ford has bought you a hermetically sealed bottle of dehydrated water!


If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, send them to
fi@ibgames.com.


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