 THE BUZZ
MysteryNewsDroid@Hotmail.com
Good News… Bad News…
212827:170 - Cen: This just in.
TheJunior has made a glorious reappearance! Is he the
messiah (I'm going to hell)? We'll he bring peace to
the Dataspace? Only the Prophet knows...and he's
being a stubborn ass. This has been a DBS Special.
The Good News is TheJunior is back
in full force. The bad news is that Cen, in fact, IS
going to hell!
Your comm unit relays a message
from Maximuszan, "Hello out there!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Halcyon,
"Heh...hello in there."
Your comm unit relays a message from Maximuszan,
"Halcyon! :-) You alway seem to be there!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Halcyon,
"Hee hee...yeah, I'm here way too damn much.
:-)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Maximuszan,
"Same here. ::shrugs::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Vlad,
"Halcyon is really a mobile;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Halcyon,
"Shhhh! Vlad...it was supposed to be a
*secret*!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Vlad,
"rofl."
Your comm unit relays a message from Vlad,
"*give black cat to halcyon*"
Your comm unit relays a message from Maximuszan,
"A highly interactive mobile, it would
seem."
Have you noticed a decidedly lack
of Howling going on in the Multiverse? The absence of the
Wolf Duke has been felt causing his POs to search for
their Leader. All that's been found is a couple of
smudged paw prints which disappear mysteriously on the
landing pad. This is causing much speculation on the
whereabouts of the Great GreyOne as he hasn't been on his
LP since he found his porter. Rewards of 2 gig are being
offered for any information that leads to the safe return
of the wolf.
~*~
Until next week, make DataSpace
your playground. I'm always watching!
THE BUZZ
MysteryNewsDroid@Hotmail.com
Thejunior proved that he could be
raised from the dead dead again this week. Taking his
rumored deity status too seriously (don't believe -everything-
you read!!), he ignored repeated warnings regarding the
dangers of Vogue. Determined to get the best price for
build commodes, Thejunior navigated the corset-like maze
and victoriously pillaged Madonnaboi's exchange. Not to
be defiled too many times, the diva's planet extracted
ultimate revenge, distracting Thejunior so thoroughly
that the "insure me" command didn't quite do
the trick. It is unknown whether the insurance agent had
been told not to reinsure Thejunior under any
circumstances. Regardless, this reporter is happy to note
that Kessel is back online and back home in the duchy of
Wolfy. A warning should be issued, however, BEWARE the
spikes of Madonnaboi's heel. Remember, if you die on an
unfamiliar planet, travel back to a location that you're
familiar with. And always, always, always check to make
sure that you've reinsured!
Where in the name of Ming has the
whip wielding Felina and bunny slipper wearing Uniquette
gone? And why does Galinfenner have that infernal smirk
on his face?
Your comm unit relays a message
from Maximuszan, "So, whats going on out there?
It seems even more quiet than usual."
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"Nuthin. I didn't do nuthin."
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf,
"uhhuh...so what's that in your teeth?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"Nuthin. Nuthin at all."
Your comm unit relays a message from Greyspacewolf,
"so was Nuthin tasty?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Maximuszan,
"Nuthin is always tasty."
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"Very tas... Nuthin. Nuthin at all."
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"There's some leftovers in the fridge, GSW.
;)"
Where oh where has our sweet Xyli
gone? Oh where oh where can she be? Peace and quietness
descended and no one's offended, oh please bring back
Xyli to me!!
~*~
Until next week, make DataSpace
your playground. I'm always watching!
THE BUZZ
MysteryNewsDroid@Hotmail.com
Rasal has been at the lub oils
again:
Your comm unit relays a message
from Wolfyn, "er... there was a cartoon
character that used to say jeep jeep. That's about
the extent of my expertise."
Your comm unit relays a message from Crusier,
"no,no that was road runner beep,beep."
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"Darn. See how far off I am?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Crusier,
"wel we all are space cadets anyway."
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"You throw stuff on the xt's randomly and I just
get all rattled!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal,
"It's true. I have to sit here and listen to her
rattle. Now where'd I put that grease gun
again?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"::rattle rattle::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal,
"::lubes Wolfyn::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"Woot!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"Watch that!"
Your comm unit relays a message from Crusier,
"rattle rattle thunder thunder boom boom
boom."
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal, "I
have a gold-plated grease gun and I'm not afraid to
use it."
Your comm unit relays a message from Crusier, "i
seen that.woflyn got quite."
Your comm unit relays a message from Wolfyn,
"I'm hiding and you can't hear me."
Concerned about the appearance of
disarray and feuding within his administration as well as
growing resistance to his policies in the Multiverse,
Ming--living up to his recent declaration that he is in
charge--told his top officials to "stop the
leaks" to the media, or else.
News of Ming's order leaked almost
immediately.
Ming told his senior aides Tuesday
that he "didn't want to see any stories"
quoting unnamed administration officials in the media
anymore, and that if he did, there would be consequences,
said a senior administration official who asked that his
name not be used.
Your comm unit relays a message
from Fishsticks, "Damn you, Sky ;)"
Your comm unit relays a message from Skyline,
"Straight to hell huh?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Fishsticks,
"I dunno about straight to hell."
Your comm unit relays a message from Skyline,
"Do I get to make stops here and there for
informational brochures?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Fishsticks,
"Only in Purgatory and Limbo."
Your comm unit relays a message from Skyline,
"Sounds like a trip."
Your comm unit relays a message from Phedre,
"*breaks out her copy of the Inferno*"
~*~
Until next week, make DataSpace
your playground. I'm always watching!
EMPIRE QUESTIONED ABOUT USE OF
TIME-WARP
Recently, the question has been
raised as to whether the time stasis bubble that is
generated by all time-warp machines - to avoid paradox -
is actually effective, when returning FROM whatever point
in time the time traveller moves to.
Apparently, certain parties that
have gone on time-travelling adventures have been
recently returning with more people than they left with!
Puzzled experts can only hypothesize that time travellers
are inadvertently (or deliberately) snatching people from
the past, and bringing them back to the future. As the
time stasis bubble (called the 'Biddle Effect', after its
inventor, Brackus Biddle) is supposed to make it
impossible to bring anyone from the past FORWARD in time,
some serious questions are being raised.
It is common knowledge that the
Empire grants PhazeTime Inc sole monopoly over the
manufacturing of the time warp devices, and that it has
'monitors' constantly watching over the facility. Due to
the Empire's heavy involvement, with the company, it has
been whispered that the Galactic Administration has hit
upon a plan to swell the depleted ranks of Poor People in
the Empire, by bringing unsuspecting people from the past
to this present time, and setting them to work.
Brackus Biddle refused to comment,
on this matter, and none of the other members of
PhazeTime's Board of Directors could be reached for
comment.
When a newsdroid was sent to try
and question an official of the Galactic Administration
regarding the subject, the only comment was to one of the
elite Imperial guards... "If that thing is still
here 10 seconds from now, I will have YOU jettisoned into
deep space."
It is rumored that the guard used a
time-warp device...
THE BUZZ
MysteryNewsDroid@Hotmail.com
What's up with the Czarina and the
WoLfPaCk dUkE?
Zyphr hooks a leash on your
collar and wraps it around her wrist...
Greyspacewolf blinks!
WoLfPaCk'S dUkE, Greyspacewolf has just vanished.
Being yanked by the leash, Czarina Zyphr has just
vanished.
WoLfPaCk'S dUkE, Greyspacewolf has just appeared.
Being yanked by the leash, Czarina Zyphr has just
appeared
Zyphr slams into the wall and groans.
Zyphr yanks the leash... HARD
Greyspacewolf yelps!
Zyphr smiles sweetly!!
Greyspacewolf curls up at Zyphr's feet and looks
apologetic.
Zyphr looks triumphant!
Fed rejoices! Another week has
passed and Thejunior is still alive and well! However, an
investigation has been launched as new evidence has
surfaced that although TJ is alive and well, he indeed
had a hand in the DD of Madonnaboi. At a recent Halloween
séance, Madboi's voice was heard wailing, "he took
over my body and slit my wrists… avenge me!!"
Thejunior denies any and all knowledge.
In a flashy display of
undergarments, at least 50 brassieres swayed in the
breeze in a tree on Destiny. The street art of cotton,
silk and spandex, in black, pink, beige, red and white,
had been put together by the Divine Miss Priscilla, who
did it as an unabashed attention getter. And apparently
it worked. Ming's minions stormed Cilla's place to find
the matching knickers. "I put them out to dry in the
gentle breeze from Glenlion, but the next thing I knew,
these horrible men were storming in putting their grubby
fingers all over my, my, THINGS!" When asked if he'd
go to reclaim the items, Cilla looked aghast and shook
his coif fiercely. "The only good that will come of
this is that maybe the nasty men will be nicer since
they'll feel so pretty!"
Missing your ship? Chances are you
lost it in Caddo. Playing an old bait and trap, Caddo is
becoming a ghost town of abandoned ships. Why you ask?
Apparently the POs of the fine duchy aren't interested in
keeping their planets running efficiently so instead,
they steal your ship and sell it for the proceeds. Who
would have guessed? Flea bitten pirates!!
212849:958 - Wolfyn:
Congratulations Thane Cptmartin and Thane Rasal!
<{{{>< Caddo, land of used ship sales.
212850:562 - Wolfyn: ~~~~ Gimme dat ship, gimme dat,
gimme gimme dat... ~~~~
212851:263 - Pppme: I can't think of a good reason to
trade in Caddo, since Caddo has very little to trade
- unless you want to trade your ship, Caddo is just
another blip in your database
Thane Rasal has a new occupation,
but already his new clients aren't happy with the
results.
Your comm unit relays a message
from Indigo, "Ras? Are you still there?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal, "For
the time being yeah."
Your comm unit relays a message from Indigo, "so
have you sorted out my life for me yet?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal,
"Sure have, actually."
Your comm unit relays a message from Sallyanne,
"Fate, you sort out lives? When you're done with
hers, you want to sort out mine too?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rasal,
"Soon as I hit the 50+ million lottery we'll
move to somewhere in the Med and enjoy life. How's
that sound?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Indigo,
"mmm, I was thinking something a bit more
todayish."
~*~
Until next week, make DataSpace
your playground. I'm always watching!
FED... THEN AND NOW
I have just returned to Fed from a
very long hiatus, and as I was getting re-familiar with
everything, it occurred to me that I have seen a lot of
changes happen. This got me to thinking about how it was,
compared to how it is. Take a stroll with me now, down
memory lane, as I consider what was, compared to what
is...
THEN: Factory Owners practically
begged for any factories they could get... and took
whatever was offered.
NOW: Factory Owners pretty much can demand whatever
factories they want.
THEN: Some of the 'nicer' Duchies
required Planet Owners to do 'shifts' on 4, giving price
checks to poor traders.
NOW: Traders rarely stay Traders longer than it takes to
run and buy stat points. Giving price checks are
virtually unheard of now.
THEN: Higher ranking traders could
do a 'C PRICE commod ALL' command and get the best
price, in all of Fed in one command. (or was that 'C
PRICE commod HIGH'?)
NOW: Now they must check each duchy, one at a time.
THEN: Very few knew what
sophisticated macros and scripting were capable of. Only
an 'elite' few used them.
NOW: If you admit to NOT using scripting or macros in
some form or another, you are looked at askance...
There are many others things, as
well. Remember when you could drop a few megs on a
Groundhog? Of course, back then it was usually done in an
effort to ingratiate yourself or the Duchy you
represented to the newbod, in the hopes that eventually
he would join...
Of course, there were other sorts
of fun as well... some not-so-nice. I remember when it
was great 'fun' to hand the TDX to a GH, jump out of the
room, and spy him, waiting for him to decide he didn't
want this weird thing, and drop it. Or to tell him about
the 'secret room, behind the sun, that would instantly
promote him to Squire'. Or about the 'magic cookie',
under the altar, on Mars.
Or better yet... remember when you
could walk into the Cantina on Earth and there was always
quite a number of folks in there? Taking the TDX into the
cantina and dropping it (making sure YOU were fully
insured beforehand, of course) was always good, for a
laugh (and yes, I understand that I have a warped sense
of humor, at times).
Speaking of a full cantina... I
remember when hopeful Barons - deciding to make a trip
through time - would sometimes walk into the cantina,
before timewarping... you haven't lived until you have
about killed yourself, laughing at 15-20 people all
saying, "What the **** ?!?!?"
Ahh! The good 'ole days. We had a
lot of fun, then. But things have changed (as everything
inevitably does). I wonder what sort of trouble...
errr... I mean what sort of fun I can find, NOW - now
that I am back...
It's good to be back!
ALSATIAN'S COMPALINTS FILE
By Fed's Canine Roving Rabid Reporter
To: SavageAlsatian@aol.com
From: AnnoyedPO@galaxymail.net
Subject: What happened to my planet review!
Alsatian,
You despicable cur, my planet onlined weeks ago and you
haven't said a word about it in the paper! What is wrong
with you? You're a lazy scum cur!
AnnoyedPO
Another complaint letter landed in
my mailbox this week. I usually panic for half a second
until I realize this is just another misdirected
grievance. The ones that are really for me are usually
much longer and full of vulgar words. I don't mind
fielding complaints, as long as all the vulgar words are
spelled correctly.
I passed on the letter to my
coworker in planetary affairs, Ashkellion. He immediately
went to work on the problem and adroitly found some way
to place all the blame on Slarti's. I retreated back to
the doghouse for another nap and contemplated why people
are always getting us mixed up.
Top Ten Reasons Alsatian is not Ashkellion:
10. Ashkellion is a Dishonorable
Senator. Alsatian is a Dishonorable Senator. Okay, so
that's not much of a distinction, and probably why it's
number 10.
9. Ashkellion is a plain old
humanoid. Alsatian is a crotch sniffing, hole digging,
dirt tracking, leg-loving canine.
8. Ashkellion looks at new planets
that have just onlined. Alsatian doesn't get to dig holes
in any landing pads without an engraved invitation from
the overlord along with 20 pounds of fresh kibble.
7. Ashkellion manages to send
something to the Chronicle every week. I know that sounds
like a faithful and dedicated hound, but it's just
devotion and commitment to the task on hand. Alsatian
tends to chew up more articles than he submits.
6. Ashkellion's name has 10
letters. Alsatian has 8. I've always considered those
extra two letters a little presumptuous and wasteful, but
don't let Ash know.
5. Ashkellion can produce yellow
journalism with swift hand to key action. Alsatian has to
have the paper laid out on the kitchen floor to achieve
the same.
4. Ashkellion does not eat the cat
litter. Enough said.
3. Ashkellion uses the loo and
leaves it tidy. Alsatian uses the loo to start a toilet
paper run that wraps up half of Earth.
2. Ashkellion walks on two legs and
uses hands to type his articles. Alsatian walks on four
legs and produces his articles on the side of the office
block with well aimed... er, don't touch his articles.
1. Alsatian has for years avoided
all appointments that involved the word neuter and
remains to this day a male hound with all his jewels
quite intact. On the other hand, Ashkellion now seems to
be female!
Sorry, Ash. It looks like Hazed
gets us mixed up sometimes too. Hope the surgery went
well!
|
