WEB FED NEWS YEARBOOKS
Earthdate May 2004


OFFICIAL NEWS


INSIDE SCOOP


FED FUNNIES


What was in May 2004's Fed Funnies:

POSTS OF THE MONTH
MOODS OF THE MONTH
QUOTES OF THE MONTH
SURREALITY OF THE MONTH
POLITICAL DISCUSSION OF THE MONTH
WORRY OF THE MONTH
BATTLE OF THE SEXES OF THE MONTH
COUPLE OF THE MONTH
TYPO OF THE MONTH
CRUEL PEDANTRY OF THE WEEK

POSTS OF THE MONTH

213035:357 - Gigawatts: "I think it's good to be adopted. If you get sick of them, you just dump this set and go find the originals." - Paris, Gilmore Girls

213035:901 - Deathiscome: Yes I am back, you shall fear my name, well odor anyhow

213037:124 - Powerb: Ice is so cold and Space is absolute zero. My dentist said to lay off Candy and who can get comfortable on a Rock? Not to mention Fire which seems to be broken. Guess I'll just have to stick with my golden sunny beaches ;)

213037:511 - Tis: The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against whacking them around a bit.

213037:513 - Art: Human beings were created by water to transport it up hill.

213037:597 - Chamberlain: I know I'm not going to ever understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.
213037:598 - Mav: That's because women will do anything for men.
213037:600 - Wolfyn: Try not paying and see if that still works.

213039:079 - Wolfyn: In the beginning was the word, but when the second word was added, there was trouble, for with it came syntax
213039:140 - Jazir: Sin tax? What will those politicians think of next..

213039:809 - Tis: Our forefathers guaranteed us the right to the pursuit of happiness. They should have given us a few clues as to where to look.

Stardate: 108328:9772 - Freya: C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg." - Bjarne Stroustrup
Stardate: 108330:6331 - Xxxslaught: Meanwhile microsoft is a bullet to the head, fortunately the head at that point is empty.

213044:208 - Tharghan: Confucious say: Man who lives in glass house....should always dress in basement.

213044:558 - Art: You can name your own salary here - I call mine Fred.

213046:813 - Tis: I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.

213048:510 - Picillo: Knott was shot, but Schott was not, so it is better to be Schott than Knott.

213048:759 - Tis: If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. And find a new place to bury the bodies. The old place is full.

213049:565 - Lirimaer: You stroll over to the empty notice board and admire the workmanship that went into creating it. Hmmm, well I can change that...
213049:664 - Wilde: So why didn't you? It looks the same to me ;)

213050:813 - Rasal: What exactly is Miracle Whip? And is there an alternative spread for atheists?

213054:119 - Wolfyn: Marriage teaches you loyalty, forbearance, self-restraint, meekness, and a great many other things you wouldn't need if you had stayed single. -Jimmy Townsend

Stardate: 108407:1471 - Freya: A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. - Herm Albright

213054:897 - Auditor: I don't have a license to kill. I do have a learner's permit though.

213058:126 - Wolfyn: Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.

213060:872 - Wingdman: everyone seems to think that yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was. I don't think you should wait ten years to admit today was wonderful. So pretend today is yesterday and go out and have one hell of a good time!
213060:920 - Ron: After a few drinks I actually understood that last post :)

Stardate: 108484:8343 - Freya: I believe humans get a lot done, not because we're smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee.

Stardate: 108506:9558 - Freya: The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky

213061:745 - Wolfyn: Hindu speaking to a "born again" Christian: "Of course I am born again. And again and again and again."

213062:160 - Garrick: Never argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

213064:008 - Nexte: What if the hokey pokey is what it is all about?
213064:017 - Ron: Depends on whose hokey you're poking ;)

213066:933 - Tharghan: "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
213066:979 - Art: I already knew it was me... AND my 3 best friends!

213067:537 - Wingdman: As you slide down the bannister of life, may all the splinters face the right way.

213068:032 - Wolfyn: Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

Message of the Day: Saturday May 22, 2004:
Extra checking has been added to the 'change clothes' command
Stardate: 108523:8172 - Pugwash: The extra checking on clothes will ensure you dress properly, in the latest fashion, with no boring or outdated clothes. Rooting out fashion crime!

MOODS OF THE MONTH

Guided by his seeing eye lemming Jazir has appeared with a shimmer of teleportation effect.

Beam a little beam on me. Wolfyn is here.

FED IS NOT A SOAP OPERA, LIGHTEN UP Danimo has just arrived.

Preferring not to have a mood Erasmus has just arrived.

Celtic Elf Princess Charm School reject Freya has left.

Sipping on a refreshing Blood Lite Vlad has just arrived.

Ignorance = Bliss: Orgasmic = Art is here.

The tall midget, Xyli has just arrived.

Not caring much about anything, Apathy has just arrived.

QUOTES OF THE MONTH

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwarrior, "la di da di da"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Killer, "la la la la la"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "The dawn chorus is late today :)"

Your comm unit relays a message from Rokyu, "Good Afternoon! I'm Rokyu your Dataspace Navigator for the next hour. So if you have a question just holler! "
Your comm unit relays a message from Risky, "Rokyu??? What is the meaning of life?"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rokyu, "Oh very good question grasshopper."
Your comm unit relays a message from Risky, ":: hops to another leaf waiting to be enlightened::"
Your comm unit relays a message from Rokyu, "The meaning of life is...::Static:: You see it is all very simple :) "
Your comm unit relays a message from Risky, "::cursin his cheapness:: I knew I shudda bought a better receiver."
Your comm unit relays a message from Rokyu, "lol"

SURREALITY OF THE MONTH

Your comm unit relays a message from Snowstar, *sigh* Stop snowing!!!
Your comm unit relays a message from Snow, "where are you snow? this is funny, snow talking to snow."
Your comm unit relays a message from Snow, "about snow."

POLITICAL DISCUSSION OF THE MONTH

213036:835 - Wilde: Politcal Moovements, Pt. 1: Socialism is where you have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
213036:765 - Cptmartin: Political Moovements, Pt. 2: Capitalism is where you have two cows. You sell one of your cows to your neighbor at a highly inflated price based on a supply/demand model.
213036:819 - Wolfyn: political Moovements, Pt. 3: Bureaucracy is where you have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and pours it down the drain.
213036:825 - Rasal: Political Moovements, Pt. 4: Democracy is where you have two cows. Government taxes force you to sell them in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.
213036:827 - Kyushusan: Political Moovements, Pt. 5: Fascism is where you have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.
213036:832 - Ivanmooski: Political Moovements, Pt. 6: Communism is where you have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with the milk.
213036:917 - Chamberlain: Political Moovements, Pt. 7: Republicanism is where you have two cows, but only pay taxes for one. Or, you only have one cow but pay taxes for two.

WORRY OF THE MONTH

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Desireea, "Those folks at AC might fire me...I am not a good delivery person. I kept their goods over night"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Sargon, "Am sure a contract has already been put out for you =p"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Desireea, "shoves the stuff back into the boxes* I am sure it's insured...right?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Sargon, "Yeah, through Mario's Insurance Agency"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Marina, "I'd go into hiding if I were you, Des ;)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Desireea, "Maybe they just break a finger for first time offense?"

BATTLE OF THE SEXES OF THE MONTH

213044:118 - Fancy: Congratulations to tonight's Final Fedpardy contestants! Jazir pulls out 1st place, followed by Snowstar in 2nd, and Erasmus in 3rd. Please join me again next week, May 11, beginning at 10 p.m. Eastern, for another exciting edition of FEDPARDY!
213044:214 - Nuhira: In tonite's Midnight Madness, Fancy took first after being tied with Snowstar. Snowstar beat her hubby, Jazir to put him in 3rd place. Good fighting all!!
213044:219 - Snowstar: What you may beat me with brains, I'll fight back with missiles! This is a good marriage! *kisskiss Jaz*
213044:220 - Jazir: And what sort of a gentleman would I be if I killed my own beloved wife? Just wait until next time! {{{Snow}} ;)

COUPLE OF THE MONTH

With flowers in her hair, Urissa is here.
with hair in his flowers, Chamberlain is here.

TYPO OF THE MONTH

Hazed snigers
Hazed wonders what happened to the other g
Hazed roots around in her pocket. "Oh, here it is!"
Hazed g

CRUEL PEDANTRY OF THE WEEK

Hazed wrote in last week's Official News:
"Oh joy! I may still be labelled as a Trader in Fed II, but I am starting to regain my powers of omnipotence. Specially, I can now lock people out of Fed II. Ah, power!"

To which Bella cruelly commented:
"Shouldn't that be demipotence?"


If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, send them to
feedback@ibgames.com.


OFFICIAL NEWS


INSIDE SCOOP