Fed II Star - May 14, 2006

TIPPLE FALLS TO THE POWER OF LAIR
by Star Reporter Dyana Kowski

Two weeks ago I brought you a report on the movements of the Necrotic Armada. Once we learned from anonymous sources that the Armada was possibly en route to the system of Elimisto and, ultimately, the planet Tipple, I went to Tipple right away on the Fed II Star's fastest starship.

I managed to arrive on Tipple just hours before the Armada moved into orbit around the planet. As I was touring the shipyard, shock troops from Lair swept through the spaceport, taking everyone there almost completely unaware.

The battle was intense the rest of that day and well into the next. Most of the structures inside the dome were badly damaged, if not completely destroyed. Even the shipyard, where I was hiding, took a hit, resulting in the collapse of the entire west wall of the structure.

Still, it is clear that the attack did not come as a complete surprise to the many warlords and criminal organizations that had come to dominate day-to-day life on Tipple, and it was two days of intense fighting before Tipple was in the grasp of Lair and Lynnea, the new Governor-General. She made an appearance immediately after the cessation of general hostilities, wasting no time in declaring that the planet was under the rule of Lair, and planting its flag on the shuttle pad. She then declared that Tipple would forever after be known as Sauterne.

Within days of the take-over, Lynnea had a fully functional, although makeshift, spaceport up and running. I managed to catch up with Lynnea and Necrose for a short interview, and here is what they had to say.

Star: Why did Lair target Tipple for take-over?

Lynnea: The native peoples of Sauterne have been suppressed and taken advantage of for far too long. I plan to help them develop trade with the outside that will benefit not only them and this world, but all the peoples of the galaxy, unencumbered by the burdens of the various competing warlords and parasitic crime syndicates.

Star: So this take-over has nothing to do with the rumor that Lair is trying to increase its power and influence throughout the galaxy?

Necrose: Lynnea and I, and Lair, are only interested in the stability and security of all of the peoples of the galaxy. This is clearly a time of conflict and strife, and the Galactic Administration is proving ineffective in providing for the safety and security of its citizens. The GA has become a bloated and unresponsive bureaucracy, which requires its citizens to bribe it to receive even the most basic of governmental services. If the GA is incapable of ensuring the stability and security of the galaxy, then we all must do what we can to ward off the anarchy that is sure to come in the wake of the inevitable collapse of the GA under its own weight.

Star: Lynnea, It is also rumored that you are addicted to Juoma and want to control it's only source.

Lynnea: That is preposterous.

Star: What are your future plans for Tipple?

Necrose: I believe Governor-General Lynnea has already made that clear: Root out the criminal element, quell the conflict among the warring factions and, once that has been done, integrate Sauterne into the galactic economy, ensuring its future stability and prosperity. And any other Fedizens who are similarly disenchanted with the governance of the GA and fear for the future should feel free to contact Lynnea or myself. Together, we can secure our own futures in an uncertain galaxy.

Lynnea and Necrose then excused themselves to tend to the issues of the day on Sauterne. I will remain on Sauterne to bring you further updates as they become available.