BARHOPPING MADE EASY: THE LYNNEA AND ASTERIX WAY! Well, we're back at it once again after a brief vacation, and we sure are glad to be back. LYNNEA: I don't know if being too drunk to work actually counts as a vacation, but yeah, whatever you want to call it. I'm just glad I finally found you and got you sobered up enough to have a party. ASTERIX: Sounds like the same thing to me. Anyway, we went back to where it all started for us: The Muddy Waters Lounge on Sumatra. The Muddy seemed a little worse for the wear by the time we got there. One of the droids was running a little slowly, and the light in the middle of the bar was put together with duct-tape.
Just as an aside, you'd think with all the advances in technology, that somewhere along the line there would have been something better than duct-tape created to fix everyday objects, but alas that is one invention that has definitely stood the test of time. LYNNEA: What is this? You take a few weeks off, and all of a sudden you're waxing poetic about duct-tape? Get on with the article, already! ASTERIX: Why don't you tell us how the party started then, little miss impatient? LYNNEA: First I need to get this damn duct-tape off of my notepad. I don't think visual aids are necessary, Asty. I know what duct-tape is. Ok, let me see... The party started with... um... ah... ASTERIX: Oh that's right, you can't tell our readers how it started, because you weren't there when it started. Lynnea showed up late this time, and was hoping I wouldn't tell on her. LYNNEA: Was that really necessary? I mean, as drunk as everyone was, no one would have noticed it you hadn't mentioned it. Don't worry about it though; I have plenty of ammo of my own. ASTERIX: Well, when the party officially started, it was just a quiet affair with me, Kalandra, Zadymka and Sylvadin sitting around chatting. Kalandra was discussing her planet, Pantheon, and its lack of foot-traffic, Zadymka was determining if she was ready to take on Kalandra's puzzle, and Sylvadin and I were... well...
LYNNEA: I think "The Losers" is a great name for any club you're in Asty... Everyone came dressed to party and I have pictures of all who attended. Well, everyone except for Catspaws, who was NOT in any shape to have her photo taken. She was matted and ratty, just like the stray alley cat she is, and she smelled like kitty litter. I soon found out that was because she was carrying around some sort of hollow ball that was leaking kitty litter out of it. Apparently her time away at the flea-dip hotel didn't do any good at all. For everyone else though, they looked great, and you can see their pictures below.
ASTERIX: At about this point, everybody started buying drinks, so I figured I'd give everyone something special to mark the night.
LYNNEA: Ok, so far, I am glad I was late. I don't think goat's milk would have done anything good for the wobbly water... Yuck! ASTERIX: After that, nobody seemed to let me buy them drinks for the rest of the night, which is just as well I guess; after you showed up with that pitcher, I was in no state to buy anything for anyone. LYNNEA: Now that I know the rest of the story, I'm guessing your desperate crawl on the floor to find the sofa had more to do with the goat's milk than wobbly water. But I am getting ahead of myself... Please, continue. ASTERIX: Just after all the goat's milk got sent back to the bartender, Nugget showed up, but just barely poked his head into the bar before he left. LYNNEA: I don't blame him. If I had shown up while goats milk was being served, I wouldn't have stayed either! ASTERIX: At this point, Rowan wondered if the Muddy was offering a main-course of puppies. I told her that I'd see what could be done if she said she'd show up. When she said she would, the search was on for a puppy, or at least something resembling a puppy.
Well, my search for a puppy ended poorly, and Rowan was certainly disappointed when she showed up. LYNNEA: Still pissing off vampires, Asty? Just like old times. Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? Bad boys, bad boys whatcha gon... Oops, sorry, please continue. ASTERIX: And of course, the moment she arrived, Rowan was ready for her dinner.
But sadly, there were no puppies ready for her.
That is until Sylvadin came through with the puppy-based dish.
And then, after everyone was finished dumping their Puppy Surprise onto Rowan's dish, the highlight of the night occurred. Lynnea finally found her way to the Muddy to join the party. LYNNEA: I would have been really touched at your greeting, Asty, had I not had to visit the spinal alignment center the next day.
And I have to admit, I was happy to see you too.
The enthusiastic welcome I received from everyone was heartwarming.
The warmth suddenly died down though, for no apparent reason. I don't understand that. ASTERIX: It probably had something to do with everyone's drinks suddenly disappearing just a few minutes after you showed up.
LYNNEA: Hey, had the wobbly water already been made up when I arrived, I would not have had to go to such extremes. You know there has to be wobbly water at the party. Otherwise, what would we blame all the madness and mayhem on? I do realize, of course that the wobbly water itself has some strong effects on people, but that only makes it a better scapegoat for the damages. ASTERIX: One of the most important effects is just talking about it. Apparently, its mere mention makes people think for some reason that I'm a good dancer.
LYNNEA: I'm not sure where that rumor got started. Apparently not by anyone who has actually seen you "dance," because frankly my friend, you're a lousy dancer. ASTERIX: Amen to that... But Sylvadin, Zadymka, and Rowan wouldn't listen to reason.
LYNNEA: It was lucky for you that Honoria showed up with her - peculiar - brownies. That was just the distraction you needed.
The brownies didn't last as long that night as they normally do. Let me see if I can remember why. Oh, Yeah!
We need to be certain and have puppies for her next time. The brownies are really supposed to be for us. ASTERIX: That definitely is a great idea. And of course, once the brownies were passed out and everything slowed down a bit, Sylvadin went right back to poking me, but this time it went a little further.
LYNNEA: Aww... My poor Asty. Everyone picking on you that way, and it really looks like you were torn up about it too, and totally unable to party after that. At least you had Racingnut there to help you through it.
ASTERIX: I'm sure I was in the middle of taking important notes and that was a really important action for me. LYNNEA: Either that or you were just drunk. ASTERIX: I don't know about drunk, but I think those brownies were starting to get me kind of giddy. I had a bit of energy, too.
LYNNEA: I'm still picking peanuts out of my hair! And speaking of drunk, what came over Racingnut and Rowan? They became totally destructive! First, Racingnut started throwing darts around the room wildly. Several of them nearly hit me.
Then, I made an assessment of the bar to see of everything remained intact. And look what happened!
ASTERIX: Right after Racingnut was done breaking half the barstools at the Muddy, Jinto came in.
Sadly though, I didn't get to ask Jinto what the GA building looked like after he finished with it, because Racingnut threw a glass and hit me in the head.
LYNNEA: I still can't believe he did all that. And that Rowan put him up to it. I really think we should show the tape of the incident to Hazed so we don't lose yet another paycheck because of your medical bills. I would really like to reach my goal of being paid this year sometime. ASTERIX: It figures that would be the first thing on your mind... Once I finally recovered from that ordeal, Sylvadin was just about ready to leave. I said goodbye to her warmly.
But apparently, there was something wrong with the way I said that.
LYNNEA: And you got us all back by giving poor Zadymka quite the scare.
ASTERIX: Hmph... You all deserved that kind of a scare for making fun of the way I talk. LYNNEA: One way or the other, cool or uncool, nobody deserved what Squeeky did to me right after he showed up!
I was in such a hurry to restore, or, dare I say, maintain my coolness quotient that I was able to quickly remove the nose/glasses from my face. Somehow, though it ended up in the wobbly water, and lets just say, it didn't come out with all of its pieces intact.
ASTERIX: And we get right back to the effects of wobbly water. Someone said something about nobody being able to move around in a straight line after too much of it. I, of course, set out to prove that entirely wrong. LYNNEA: And you, of course, you did a fab job of that.
ASTERIX: It's not my fault they moved the couch since the last time we were there. This is entirely unfair. At this point though, Honoria tried to help me up off the ground, but she couldn't lift me. She fell down right next to me, and for some reason blamed me for the entire event.
LYNNEA: But Honoria sure did get you back for that.
ASTERIX: Yeah, but nobody was particularly happy to see that happen. LYNNEA: What are you talking about?
But there was something a little more devious going on than you getting whipped like you always do. Catspaws decided this would be a good time to put a damper on our party. With her fleas. She showed up with her fleas circus and kitty litter ball. Someone should have called animal control. Nobody was happy to see her. Catspaws waves to
Lynnea before leaping onto a table ASTERIX: Actually, I think that just about everyone was happy to see her, except you.
LYNNEA: That may be, but as you can see, Rowan was just excited because she thought food was about to be served.
Obviously, Catspaws wasn't around because people enjoy her company! ASTERIX: Well, after the back and forth between you, Rowan and Catspaws, everyone was about ready to call it a night, and that's just what we did. There was a plethora of hugging and kissing, and I think a few snogs were hidden in the scroll. All in all we had a great night. A few bruises, but no worse for the wear. Not like the Muddy anyway. Thanks again to Hazed for supporting us throughout all our ordeals, and I'm sure the bill will be on its way to the Star offices soon, which means Lyn and I will be nowhere near there. Until next time, keep the tequila flowing, and the water wobbly! LYNNEA: And remember folks, don't let stray cats or squeaky mice into your parties! |