The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: January 7, 2007

Fed Funnies

POSTS OF THE FESTIVE SEASON

Stardate: 116574:0527 - Occy: To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone." --Reba McEntire
Stardate: 116574:2969 - Ramesu: Oh, no!! Cephalopods are doomed!!

Stardate: 116625:7116 - Occy: Of course I believe in luck. How otherwise to explain the success of some people you detest?" --Jean Cocteau,

Stardate: 116629:1016 - Grewl: The IRS Agent on Halloween: The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying, "Trick or Treat!" The man asks the kids what he is dressed up like for Halloween. The kid replies, "I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes 40 percent of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say thank you.

Stardate: 116636:1084 - Grewl: What do Eskimoes get from sitting on the ice too long? Answer: Polaroids
Stardate: 116644:6996 - Hazed: What do you get if you sit on nuclear waste for too long? Answer: atomic piles.

Stardate: 116654:2086 - Hazed: In the struggle between yourself and the world, back the world. - Franz Kafka

Stardate: 116654:2905 - Gandroid: An honest Galactic Administration official is one who, when bought, stays bought.

Stardate: 116659:6259 - Oberon: Am I the only one who finds it ironic that the Vacation system is closed to visitors?!

Stardate: 116662:9619 - Hazed: Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. - Sleep expert William Dement. You could probably say the same thing about Fed!

Stardate: 116666:1006 - Santa: Merry Christmas!
Stardate: 116666:6706 - Dupree: Santa rearranged is Satan of course but look at that stardate........

Stardate: 116726:2799 - Occy: Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese." --Billie Burke

Stardate: 116794:5684 - Squeeky: ever wonder why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Stardate: 116794:7609 - Gandroid: I have never seen a cat actually eat a mouse. Torment, tease and kill, yes. Eat? no.


MOODS OF THE FESTIVE SEASON

There are no problems that can't be solved with a suitable application of explosives Occy has just arrived.

Carrying a clipbard, a sharp pencil and whistling a tune (badly), the Akaturi delivery person Otter has just arrived.


QUOTES OF THE FESTIVE SEASON

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "don't worrie Oris, that happens to everyone at least once"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "apparently millions of English people cannot read well enough to follow a karaoke autocue... now if only that would stop them from trying"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Oris, "we have a Dragonslayer and no dragons... is he good or what?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "what did he do to KB"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Dragonslayer, "dragons are all cowards"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Kblack, do you have anything to say?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Kblackdragon, "Who did who in the what now?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Alert, as ever :)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Dragonslayer, "and not too bright either"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "the slayer said all dragons are cowards"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Kblackdragon, "We're cowards are we? Umm...dragon slayers are all snacks!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Dragonslayer, "anytime anywhere"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Kblackdragon, "Hmm...bring it?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "you know its time like this im glad that vampire hunters have all been killed off '"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Dragonslayer, "dont sing it...bring it"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Netalaquin, "is the system big enough for ego's?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "so far so good, Netal"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "We've never had any problem with egos not fitting before, and we've seen some really huge ones"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Dragonslayer, "i have seen no egos but we can slay those as well"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "hmmm, well, no matter what starts, i have all rights on selling tickets"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Now just a minute... I think I have the ticket franchise, not you"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "i have the broadcast rights"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Dragonslayer, "so long as you have no rights to the dragon's wings...once slain, i make soup from them"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Oris, "I'm gonna charge for red wine"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "hold a tic. i thought that i had ticket rights, Hazed had media rights, and Furgas had the food rights"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Actually, I have all the rights. I just allow you to make use of some of them, out of the goodness of my heart."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "In the blue corner, weighing in at several tons, fighting out of Voyager, Starfleet..... Kaaaaaaaay "Snookums" Blackdragon"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Kblackdragon, "Snookums?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "hmmmm, going to have to look into my contract on that"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "let's get rrrready to stumble"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Kblackdragon, "Put your money on the Trekkie Dragon ANY day!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "just remembered who had the gambling right, that was Gwaptiva"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Bourbon, "think will just sit back and try to wake up before trying to make sense of what is being said......lol"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Docdroopy, "Why do that? It is always more fun just to jump in and then sort it out later."

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "hope that you had a good Boxing day Bella. i think that is today"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Bella, "yes - it is - though why it's called that is lost in the mists of time..."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Bella, "probably cause the kids have broken all their toys and are reduced to playing with the boxes..."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "well, at one point i thought that it refered to the Boxers rebllion"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "thought that it was when the bosses and the workers switched places though"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Jessecka, "is it like all the guys where boxers around the house and eat all day....wait....that's called Thanksgiving here"
Editor's Note: actually it's called that because traditionally it is when the tradesmen would call to receive their Christmas boxes.

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Zand, "My events say I had an expl. in a Kats fac. I do have a kats fac, should I notifiy the owner?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "it is one of the PLANET kats fac, and the owner has already been told"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Zand, "Ok"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "seeing how YOU are the owner. lol"


CONSPIRACY THEORY OF THE FESTIVE SEASON

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Furgas, "pray for custom to grab you that helps"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Dawson, "last time they dropped me off near the sun"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "I swear the customs guys are in cahoots with the insurance guys"


If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, send them to fi@ibgames.com.


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