The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: February 11, 2007

Fed Funnies - page 1

TOP TEN WAYS YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BAD LAG

by Hazed (with help from Djentsch, whose lag inspired this topic)

You know your lag is really, really bad...

1. When you think it's Tuesday but everyone else says it's Wednesday!
2. When midnight arrives 5 hours after civilized people have it.
3. When these funnies end up in the Star 3 weeks from now.
4. When you respond to a question that 5 others have already answered.
5. When you are still surprised that the Founder rank is in place.
6. When you have typed out all the commands to haul some cargo from your planet to Sol, and you are still sitting on your LP.
7. When you try to kiss somebody but they leave the room before you can get close.
8. When 15 minutes after you grope Diesel she finally wallops you with her baseball bat - by which time you are on Mercury.
9. When you are shocked to learn Empress Wu Zetian is now an enhanced hologram, and not the Empress.
10. When you are still submitting top ten items when there's already 12.

And here are some of those extra reasons...

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Djentsch, "you know you have bad lag when you attempt to sell 1 bay of nanfab, and Oddball has already flooded the market"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "especially bad when you try that on your own planet"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Bourbon, "you know you have lag when you still try to visit the planet Pluto"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Oris, "you know Dj has bad lag when you sit in his room on Marina and buy him drinks and buy him drinks and still he doesn't talk."

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Gwaptiva, "I'm having bad lag, Hazed, I'll give you that one tomorrow"

Thanks to Archer, Dj, Gwaptiva, Bourbon, Oris and Otter for their suggestions.


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