ADVERTISEMENTAn Unsolicited Advertisement Produced by Diet Evil Enterprises for Your Knowledge and EntertainmentIn anticipation of promotion, Diet Evil Enterprises is pleased to announce The Promotion Sale for Manufacturers & Financiers! Our portfolio is listed below along with the bribe necessary to release a given company's shares to the broker.* The bribe specified is non-negotiable and has been calculated using a variety of economic and other factors. In exchange for the bribe, Diet Evil Enterprises agrees to release its shares to the broker (and thus the open market) and will not be responsible should a third-party to the transaction buy said shares before you have a chance to purchase them from the broker. Diet Evil Enterprises will promote -almost instantly- when it holds 3500 shares or less. All previous offers are rescinded. *Please note that under no circumstances does Diet Evil Enterprises "sell shares back" to a company's own CEO as the CEO never owned the shares in the first place. Diet Evil Enterprises sells shares to the broker. What happens after that sale is of no concern to us. Portfolio details: 1 slithy for our total holdings in any two companies below 2 slithies for our total holdings in any two companies below 2 slithies for our total holdings in any one company below 4 slithies for our total holdings in any one company below Thank you for your interest in Diet Evil Enterprises. For enquiries, comments, or death threats, please contact Arlene. |