SOL ACCESS
by September
Nice Guns!
So, I was sitting in the Cantina having a nice drink with Spacey and the weather triplets, and in walked this handsome cowboy Stormbringer.
ex stormbringer
Stormbringer is dressed in a wide brimmed hat, a duster, old dusty boots, and some rather big hand guns at his side.
Well, being a perfectly healthy female, I couldn't help but notice the nice guns, and I thought it would only be right as a reporter to interview Stormbringer. That is my job after all! This is how it went.
September eyes Stormbringer with interest.
Stormbringer winks at September as he orders a sarsaparilla
September drawls, "I was just eyeing the nice guns... How long have you been in the Galaxy, Stormbringer?"
Stormbringer says, "Interesting question September. The answer is, I'm new around these parts."
September ask, "And what brought you here?"
Stormbringer says, "A quest actually."
September looks interested, grabbing her pad and pen "A Quest?!"
Stormbringer says, "You see it all started, quite a long time ago..."
Spacey orders more rum, "It sounds like this could a long story."
September trades the pad and pen for a recorder.
Stormbringer says, "I was younger then, A LOT younger, we were trading in another Galaxy..."
September picks up her recorder. "Testing, testing. " She whispers softly into it.
Stormbringer drinks his Jack in one gulp, than drawls, "Porthonis and Sarta were my wing men, great guys, you'd have liked them...."
September nods repeating the names. "Porthonis and Sarta." Then asks. "Was it a nearby galaxy?"
Stormbringer says, "Well, cosmically speaking, yes, it was another dimension, you had to travel through doors to get there. Porthonis was a Grandarg, big fella, roughly 750 kilos, mostly muscle, 'cept where it counts, and Sarta well he was the brains of the bunch, a Curnid, blue as the dickens, and a little depressed to boot."
September tries to hide a grin
Stormbringer has bought you a Jack hold the glass
September fumbles with her glassless jack
Stormbringer says, "Porthonis got the scoop on a great contract. It was the contract to end all contracts and... Everything alright September?"
September looks up and sliding the glassless jack onto the table, nods. "Err... yes, fine thanks."
Stormbringer hands September a straw.
September gratefully accepts the straw, then looking at Stormbringer she prompts "So, a great contract"
Stormbringer says, "You really want to hear this?"
September says, "I'm a reporter for the Star it's what I do. I Report, Or, I WILL report. I'm new, actually.
September blushes. "I was hired recently, this is my first night in the galaxy.
Stormbringer says, "Ahhhh...I see. Well, this end all contract was in a little known, better left unknown sector of our Galaxy, so, we dropped all of our loads and headed for the seedier part of the Galaxy, the Velarnian Sector, ever seen a Velarnian?
September shakes her head. "No, can't say that I have..."
Stormbringer sips the floating blob of Jack then says, "Neither have I, but we did see their ships, they dove at us from nowhere, Sally believes they were hiding near the event horizon of the local black hole. Told you it was a tough sector!"
September asks, "Sally...?"
Stormbringer says, "Yeah, Sally, my ship. Porthonis was the first to go. He did, or rather tried to do, a skip about. Not a good idea in a Tordonian class cargo ship. His star drive went one way, his ship went the rest of them."
Stormbringer grimaces and sucks up the rest of the Jack.
September clears her throat and looks sympathetic as she swirls her finger through her glob of jack.
Stormbringer says, "Sarta, smart devil he was, jumped in my exhaust plume as I kicked in the star drive to try to pace the Velarnians. He used my ships gravity well to slingshot himself into hyper-drive and bugged right the hell outta the system."
September asks, "So, he just disappeared then?"
Stormbringer says, "Left me and Sally there to deal with 6 Velarnian fighters. I like to think I was the hero, but damned if it wasn't Sally who got us out of there. Sally made my Hectarian Scow scream like a banshee fighter in a toe hold."
Stormbringer shakes head at the memory of the sounds of twisting metal.
September sucks the Jack off her fingers listening in awe to the story as it unfolds.
Stormbringer says, "Sally was able to limp to a door and we went through. She went belly up not long after we passed through and I went into cryo stasis for about 20 years. Then I was picked up by a customs agent in this sector and brought here."
September exclaims, "This is a very exciting story Stormbringer!"
Stormbringer says, "Sally thinks this is where Sarta disappeared to, and she had evidence that he took the front money when he left. I have to find him and send him to Porthonis."
Stormbringer pulls a gun and twirls it deftly before placing it back in its holster.
September leafs through her notes. "Wait... Was Porthonis your other partner?" Finding the correct note she says, "Yes he was... Isn't he dead?
Stormbringer says, "Only, slightly."
September nods, looking as though she understands that completely.
Stormbringer says, "Porthonis, Sarta and I were in a fedre, a life debt. Sarta left me to die. Now he owes me his life.""
September nods slowly. "I see. So you will remain in this galaxy searching for him?"
Stormbringer says, "No, I think I'll just live, and see if I come across him. You haven't seen him have you?""
Stormbringer is looking at you.
September shakes her head back and forth. "No, I just got here."
Stormbringer promptly changed the subject at this point, which I took to mean that his tale was finished, at least for the time being.
I have to say dear readers that if I HAD seen Sarta at that point I still would have said no. Stormbringer had a glint in his eye and of course those big guns. Let me assure you however that if Stormbringer ever does run into Sarta I will bravely cover the story and report it to you.
Zandzabar: Haven or Hades?
I have not yet managed to weasel a large enough draw on my paycheck to pay off the loan on this bucket-o-bolts spaceship, so I have never visited Zandzabar myself, however, I have it from reliable sources that it is portrayed and advertised as a paradise. A vacation destination, if you will.
Let me remind you though dear reader that, as I reported last week, I did have an unnamed source admit to me that they had been threatened into purchasing their spaceship from that planet.
I was able to reach Zand, the planet owner, on a private com channel and question him about the alleged threats. His answers were very cryptic and I was not satisfied with the results of my interview, so, I have decided that an investigative report is needed.
As soon as I have paid off my ship, allowing me to leave Sol, I will investigate Zandzabar further and update you on my findings.
Until Next Time
That is all for Sol Access this week. Please read next week's column where you will meet Wraith, a female Geddyan who chooses logic over emotion. Also, I will try to determine why Butters hates reporters, and what Sephorin and Trilleth's Closet treatment is, exactly.
And remember readers I pay for celebrity gossip!
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