Inside Scoop page 1

ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES

by Zeptember

Zeptember: Welcome to another episode of Alternative Lifestyles, where we examine the issues faced by Federation 2 alts. I am your host, Zeptember. Today we have with us some members of a rather large alt family, the House of Doz. With us are Zardoz, Zodraz, Zardroid, Zodbot, and Zand. Zardoz, thank you, and welcome.

Zardoz: Thank you Zeptember. It is an honor to be here, but I would like to offer my apologies on behalf of those members of my House that could not attend.

Zeptember: Your alts could not attend?

Zardoz: Yes, well Nosferatu is somewhat adverse to daytime engagements, and Doncorleone and Alcapone are somewhat adverse to cameras. And... oh... what were their names?...

Zodraz (whispering): Thundarr and Ookla.

Zardoz: Oh yes, well those boys got in a bit of a tiff, and refused to be in the same room with each other. But the remaining alts of my House are more than hap...

Zand (interrupting): Hold on one second. I am not an alt of Zardoz.

Zeptember: You're not? I just assumed...

Zand: I am not his alt!

Zeptember: Zardoz, is this true?

Zardoz: Hmmm... I'm not sure. (Begins to rummage through his pockets). I had an organization chart around here some place.

Zodraz: I have an Org Tree. (Hands a piece of paper to Zeptember)

Zeptember: Zod, this is a label from a container of Tree Gro Fertilizer.

Zodraz: Oh... I wonder what we were using in the garden then.

Zand: I am not an alt of Zardoz!

Zardoz: Well that could be, Zand is never at any of the meetings.

Zodraz: Zardoz, you're never at any of the meetings.

Zardoz: That is true. I usually have scheduling conflicts.

Zardroid: We have meetings?

Zodbot: Oh yes, and they are so much fun. At the last one Alcapone brought Lasagna, and Doncorleone brought Cannoli. Sephiroth brought his Karaoke machine. We sang songs and ...

Zodraz: I'll send you an e-mail, Zardroid, to make sure you can come to the next one.

Zardroid: Thank you, I look forw....

Zand: I am not an alt of Zardoz!!!

Zardoz: Zand, I'm sure we can solve this.

Zand: I am not your alt you psycho nut job!

Zodraz: Well, he does sound like you.

Zardoz: Yes, he does.

Zeptember: Zand, would you happen to have any documentation? A Birth Certificate or Passport perhaps?

Zand: Oh, this is just ridiculous. (Removes microphone). I will not be a part of this silly spectacle. (Stands up and walks off stage)

Zeptember: Well, we've run out of time. Tune in for our next show where we will examine resolving family conflicts. I am Zeptember, and this has been Alternative Lifestyles.

Zodraz: That was interesting.

Zardoz: Yes, very.

Zodraz: I guess Zand isn't your alt.

Zardoz: Apparently not.

Zodraz: Of course, you could be his.

Zardoz: Hmmm..... (Raises an eyebrow).

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