Inside Scoop page 1

ALTERNATIVE LIFESTYLES

Episode 2

Zeptember: Welcome to another episode of Alternative Lifestyles, where we examine the issues faced by Federation II alts. I am your host, Zeptember. Today we have with us some members of a rather large alt family, the House of Doz. With us are Zardoz, Zodraz, Thundarr, and Ookla. Zardoz, thank you, and welcome.

Zardoz: Thank you Zeptember. It is an honor to be here.

Zeptember: Zardoz, in our last show, you said that several members of your family were having a disagreement, and wouldn't attend. We invited you back here today to explore this issue and see how a modern alt family resolves internal disagreements.

Zardoz: Yes, well it took some doing but we were able to get... uhhh......

Zodraz (whispering): Thundarr and Ookla.

Zardoz: Oh of course, yes, we were able to get Thundarr and Ookla to attend today's show.

Zeptember: Now I understand that Thundarr and Ookla are having a disagreement. Thundarr, would you care to comment on what seems to be the problem?

Thundarr: Me no understand Ookla since him come back from boarding school. Him always making me look like big dummy.

Zodraz: That would be hard to do.

Zardoz: Zod...

Zeptember: Interesting. Ookla, would you care to comment?

Ookla: Arraaoking arregggggn uurrrrrhhhggg!

Zeptember: What is he saying?

Zardoz: I think he's saying he's glad to be here

Zodraz: Sure, that sounds real close.

Thundarr: Him not say that.

Zeptember: Ookla could you comment again?

Ookla: Aaiirrrgggg aaarrnnttt eeeeatttthhh!

Zardoz: Oh of course, he's saying how wonderful his day has been.

Zodraz: Oh, of course. That's so obvious.

Thundarr: Him not say that.

Zeptember: Ookla, again please?

Ookla: Herrrrnnnggg aarrrnnggg

Thundarr: For love of God!!! Him say, "I choking on pastry from Green Room!!" (Gets up and runs to Ookla and performs Heimlich maneuver).

Ookla: (Takes big breath) Thank you old chap. That certainly was a most sticky wicket. Thundy old bean, I'm forever in your debt.

Thundarr: What he say?

Zodraz: He said you're a big dummy.

Zardoz: Zod!

Zeptember: Well that's it for time. Join us again on Alternative Lifestyles where we will examine how an alt family copes with a new addition. From all of us at Alternative Lifestyles, thank you, and good night.

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