The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: February 17, 2008

Fed Funnies page 2


POSTS OF THE WEEK

Stardate: 120260:1037 - Boone: it was the happiest day of her life-she walked up to the altar,gave her husband a kiss, and closed the lid.

Stardate: 120273:4855 - Hazed: Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put one in a fruit salad. - Miles Kington

Stardate: 120304:7716 - Gandroid: I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.
Stardate: 120305:3960 - Arlene: I know sex is better than logic, and I can prove it.


WEDDING OF THE WEEK

Monodefuego runs in, followed by nearly 3,000 other firemonkeys, all hooting and screaming! They quickly assemble a small stage and chairs.
Monodefuego slaps a veil on you and turns to another monkey wearing a clerical collar. "Do you, mono, take Catspaws to be your wife?" he says.
Monodefuego exclaims, "I do!"
Monodefuego claps as the minister says, "Good enough for me!"
Monodefuego has given you a tasty kiss.
Monodefuego turns a little cartwheel and hightails it outta there. The other firemonkeys tear down the setup with incredible speed and follow him, leaving you standing in your veil wondering what the crap just happened.


DIVORCE OF THE WEEK

Monodefuego runs into the room followed by three thousand burning relatives. They quickly set up chairs and a small stage.
Monodefuego slaps a veil on you! A ministerial monkey says, "Do you, mono, divorce Catspaws?"
Monodefuego exclaims, "I do!"
Monodefuego claps and turns a little cartwheel as the minister says, "Good enough for me!"
Monodefuego has given you a friendly snog.
Monodefuego turns a little cartwheel and sprints out of the room. His relatives throw rice and cheer before tearing down the setup and carrying it over their heads out of the area, leaving you standing in a pile of rice with a veil on your head wondering what the heck just happened.


QUOTES OF THE WEEK

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Joe... Joe what are you doing at my house? How did you find out where I live? What are you doing with that piano wire?! Joe! JOE! AAAAAAccccccccckckkkkkk."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Trilleth, "Mono, you would just fry anyone who showed up at your house. "
There is a brief hum from your comm unit.
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Not Joe. Nothing smells worse than burnt Joe. It's why I can't walk into a Starbucks."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Well, that and the restraining order."

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Zardoz, "I have alts coming out of my ears."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Qrygg, "Imagines Zard Alts emitting from ear canals... and shudders.* Why can't they just shoot out your nose?"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Zardoz, "Ewww.. That's just gross."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Because then if he sneezes he could fire an alt across the room. Messy."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "And embarassing at fancy dinners."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Qrygg, "Hmm... an Alt named Buggers might be appropriate though."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Zard, did you just sneeze an alt across the table?' 'No.' 'You sure, this looks like an alt dripping down the wall. Is this your alt?' 'No. 'snot.'"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Well, my memory only extends back about 7 minutes. I just make up everything that happened before that."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Which reminds me, welcome to Fed, Freya!"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Freya, "10 bonus points for House Monodefuego for the memory quote :)"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Bubba, "*waits 7 minutes, for Monodefuego to welcome Freya to Fed again* :p"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "Nah, in 7 minutes I'll have constructed an elaborate fantasy that Freya and I were once married, but separated in a bitter dispute over puff pastries."

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Bubba, "need to take a break, uncross my eyes, and go make a run, to the corner quickie-mart....afk for a bit..."
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, "Uncross your legs before you run"
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Bubba, "picks himself up off the floor....* NOW you tell me :p"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Monodefuego, "So let me get this straight... Why is it that the term is "he wears the pants" in order to indicate a fellow is in charge when, in every instance I've observed, a woman in a bikini is certainly in charge?"

Your comm unit crackles with a message from Arlene, "Arlene, it has been said by many, looks remarkably like Margaret Thatcher at the peak of her beauty. Arlene is a highly decorated member of Federation 2 Society. Most recently, he was awarded the highly coveted Emily Howard Real Lady award, Rubbish Class. The mostly honorific Born Again Virgin title was bestowed upon him by the Uranus Football League following their annual Swingers Ball. And of course, it must be mentioned that Arlene is most proud of being voted the 3rd most unpleasant side effect of The Great Constant Shift."


If you have nominations for the Quote, Mood, Post, Clothes, Act, or anything else of the Week, send them to fi@ibgames.com.


Fed2 Star index Previous issues Fed 2 home page