The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: April 20, 2008

Fed Funnies page 1


TOP TEN CAMPAIGN PROMISES FROM A PROSPECTIVE FEDERATION PRESIDENT

by Hazed

Not that we have elections in Fed DataSpace, of course, because the Galactic Administration knows what is good for you, but if we did... what would the candidates promise? Here's the players' suggestions, which overflowed the top ten completely. Well, who said politicians can count?
1. I promise to cut taxes by cutting the taxman in half.
2. A livestock in every pot.
3. We need a change, and will be as vague as possible with solutions.
4. I will require safety inspections on fusion reactors.
5. Pizza and TV - the modern-day equivalent of bread and circuses.
6. No more agendas.
7. Read my lips: No... New... Alts.
8. We offer you choice. You can have whatever you want, so long as its picked from our tightly controlled list.
9. We promise to raise standards until everybody is above average.
10. One hundred new players per month with no "Z" in their names whatsoever.
11. Free ships for the Groundhogs.
12. Will work for campaign finance reform (that's just code for, 'I'll make sure I'm the only one able to take bribes').
13. We will appoint a negotiating team to work with the Weathermen cult and bring terrorist atrocities to an end.
14. Free chocolate for all!

Thanks to Monodefuego, Bourbon, Logical and Caesar for their ideas.


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