The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: July 27, 2008

Fed Funnies page 1


TOP TEN WAYS TO GET THE NEWSDROIDS TO WORK HARD

by Hazed

My newsdroids are a lazy lot and they won't produce stories of the high quality you have come to expect from the Fed2 Star unless I beat them thoroughly. Frankly, this tires me out! I've tried automating the beatings, but that doesn't have the same effect: they seem to need my personal, hands-on, demi-goddess touch.

So I asked the players if they had any suggestions about how else I could make the newsdroids work. Here's what they came up with.
1. Threaten to take away their WD-42.
2. Branding them, eviscerating them, defenestrating them... You only need to do it to one, then leave the wreckage there as a reminder for the others.
3. Let them have a small morsel of chocolate as a reward if they do a good job.
4. Don't let allow them to probe each others input sockets until they have finished.
5. Deputize some of the droids to be supervisor droids, that way they can impose the worst droid treatment they can imagine.
6. Praise them, stroke them, generally be nice to them... in the foolish belief that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
7. Threaten to withdraw the beating if they don't work faster.
8. Any droids turning in late assignments are placed in orbit for traffic control purposes.
9. Lower their resistance by putting compliance drugs in their lub-oils.
10. Threaten to put Arlene in charge of them.


Thanks to Admrose, Caesar, Jezz, Jordis and Zarquad for their suggestions.


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