Inside Scoop page 1

RLAS AND ME

by Jezz

Hello. My name is Jezz and I suffer from RLAS.

At first I was in denial... I mean... who wants to admit that they have that sort of problem? "I can control it. I can quit anytime I want" I told myself. I look around and I see other RLAS sufferers and I try to convince myself I'm not like them, I can deal with it...

But the truth is I can't. RLAS has a grip on me I can't shake and I'm standing here ready to own up to all the terrible things I've done because I had to feed my addiction. Oh sure, I look like a perfectly respectable, law abiding citizen because I hide what is really going on under the surface.

Everyday I leave my beloved Zardoz standing in his exchange on Ainokea, ignoring his needs, neglecting our relationship. My friends chatter on thinking I'm just listening quietly but I'm really just staring blankly into the depths of space, mindlessly indulging my own cravings.

I've written nasty little memos to my factory foremen and then left them to deal with all the production problems for hours and hours without my input.. I've even just sold off struggling factories and thrown the workers to the unemployment wolves because I didn't want to take the time away from my addiction to walk the factory floor and improve performance.

Oh the shame of it all! But it doesn't stop there. Meteu asked me to be a guest for the Meet and Greet, but how could I? The Meet and Greet schedule doesn't allow for people with RLAS. So I've sacrificed all the fun games and parties. My social life is a shambles. My husband wonders why I don't respond when I'm right next to him and it's all because of this dreadful affliction...

Real Life Addiction Syndrome

The symptoms are easy to spot once you know what you're looking for. People who mention "sleep" are almost always RLAS sufferers. They don't care how much you need them to be there, they will suddenly go silent and stay that way for hours or disappear altogether. As shocking as this is, it's not as bad as the glassy-eyed zombies you can find in exchanges all over the known Universe. They do manage to rouse themselves from their stupor for periods of time but always return eventually to the mindless form the disease dictates.

But now I know I can be strong and get through this somehow. I'm cutting back a little at a time. Maybe someday I'll be able to stop giving in to that urge to go to work, the need to eat, the pressure to sleep. Maybe someday I'll be able to hold my head up high and say "I'm not a failure... I'm not an addict.. I made it to a Meet and Greet. I played Feddergories". Maybe someday, with your help, I'll be able to leave Real Life completely behind and take my rightful place as a useful citizen of the Federation. Until then I'll struggle on like all those other sufferers and hope the rest of you understand.

So when you see someone standing stock still and staring blankly into space, please don't deride them. Have a little pity for all the RLAS sufferers out there. Remember sometimes it isn't a choice but an illness. Someday we'll be accepted for who we are. Someday people will understand that we didn't mean to be this way.

To all my fellow addicts... I feel your pain.

Fed2 Star index Previous issues Fed 2 home page