The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: October 19, 2008

Fed Funnies page 1


TOP TEN MOST HEINOUS CRIMES IN FED

by Jezz

This week, one could say the Top Ten was a desperate attempt to sway the conversation away from the discussion of what a certain neuter/mannequin/auton does with writing utensils when not using them... yes, it was one of those conversations that escapes all understanding unless you were there at the time. Suffice to say that talk of pencils, anatomically incorrect mannequins and what Arlene might look like without make-up inspired those present to come up with...

...The Top Ten Most Heinous Crimes in Fed!
10. Breaking the Law of Gravity.
9. Groping Diesel.
8. Spraying Tracey with herbicide.
7. Stabbing people with an umbrella.
6. Telling a Newbod that the way out of the Lattice AC office is "suicide suicide", or that the Titan radiation rooms are the best place to get a tan.
5. Failing to bring the Demi-Goddess chocolate.
4. Buying non-Javan Coffee (particularly on Java).
3. Stealing one of the mini grizzles from the zoo to use as a pajama case.
2. Teaching the asparagus to sing "It's a small world after all" or any song by Barney.
And by far the most commonly committed crime in Fed...
1. Killing the Comms!


So there you have it. Contrary to popular belief, it appears that having multiple spouses at the same time is not a crime unless you are in a room with several of them at once. Apologies to Munabilo for not publishing his ideas for using his removable asexual bump in a criminal manner. I'm afraid I just couldn't find a printable way to work the pencil in.

Many thanks to all who contributed... Trilleth, Joe, Hazed, Munabilo and Angelfowl, for their ideas. Thanks also to those who, having committed the above crimes so we could write about them, must remain nameless for their own good.

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