The weekly newsletter for Fed2 by ibgames

EARTHDATE: December 7, 2008

Official News page 1


FREYA'S THANKSGIVING IN FED2 QUIZ

The winner of the Thanksgiving in Fed2 Quiz is Zardoz - and he wins for not only supplying us with a menu but for sharing it as an entire Turkey Story for your enjoyment. We present the story in its entirety below. A suitable prize will be awarded to Zardoz.

And speaking of Quiz prizes, I wanted to explain that the past few have been delayed in mid-creation because I have had 2 serious surgeries on my right eye in the past few months. I've had a lot more problems with vision recovery than I expected and seeing text is a laborious chore for me still. However, the winners are on record and their prizes are in production, however slow and delayed.

I hope you all had a warm and loving Thanksgiving and are enjoying the start of the holiday season. The Fed2 Christmas Quiz will be announced in next weekend's Fed2 Star. I will also be issuing my annual Federation Official Bribe//err Christmas Wish List.

Now without further ado - A Thanksgiving to remember courtesy of Zardoz:


A DOZIAN THANKSGIVING

Hunting lodge
The lodge consists of just one room which takes up the entire building. The flickering flames of a fireplace provide light, warmth and cheer to the whole room - it looks like the fuel is real wooden logs, but they never burn out and don't produce any ash to be cleaned up.
There is very little furniture, just low tables surrounded by piles and piles of large, soft cushions. It is a room built for relaxation. The tables have been laid with expensive food, the kind which can be eaten with the fingers while reclining, and with bottles containing exotic drinks, some alcoholic and some not.
Some invisible mechanism plays music softly in the background. If you concentrate, you can hear snatches of recognizable melody; if you just let it wash over you, it induces a feeling of deep contentment and allows all your worries and cares to be swept away.
A cleaning droid stands motionless in one corner, plugged in to recharge its batteries until it is needed.

Zardoz is here. Zardoz is wearing a wedding ring.
Jezz is here. Jezz is wearing a wedding ring.
Zodraz is here. Zodraz is wearing an earring.
Sephiroth is here.
Doncorleone is here.
Lucabrasi is here.
Ookla is here.
Thundarr is here.
Barabbas is here.
Aerith is here.
Zand refused to be here.

Zardoz says, "Welcome family to this year's Thanksgiving festivities. We are so blessed to have new guests with us."

Zardoz turns and looks at Jezz and smiles.

Jezz beams.

Zardoz says, "For those of you who are new, I'd like to take this opportunity to explain a few of our family traditions. Each of us brings a dish that means something to them. And as you know, I like to rotate the location of our get together. This year, I selected Ming's Hunting Lodge, to allow us a chance for privacy in its exclusive location, and to enjoy its exotic menu."

Zodraz turns to Sephiroth and whispers, "Plus, this was the only place in Sol that had not heard about the chaos that occurred at our previous gatherings."

Sephiroth quietly chuckles.

Zardoz frowns slightly and continues, "Each year, I also encourage you to bring a dish, and explain what is special about it. I think it is a lovely way to share our heritages."

Zodraz turns to Sephiroth and whispers, "Plus it's a lovely way to cut down on the food bill."

Sephiroth quietly snickers.

Zardoz frowns, and turns to Doncorleone and says, "First I'd like to... to... Hoo... What's that vile smell?"

Zardoz looks at Barabbas.
Jezz looks at Barabbas.
Zodraz looks at Barabbas.
Sephiroth looks at Barabbas.
Doncorleone looks at Barabbas.
Lucabrasi looks at Barabbas.
Ookla looks at Barabbas.

Barabbas looks up and quickly says, "Not me," and points at Thundarr.

Zardoz says, "Thundarr. Step outside if you have to."

Thundarr looks up and says, "What? I do nothing."

Barabbas snickers.

Zardoz shakes his head and continues, "Doncorleone, what dish did you bring?"

Doncorleone nods at Lucabrasi.

Lucabrasi stands and says, "I made pasta and meatballs. And these meatballs are a manly meatballs. They are a symbol of the manliness of Sicilia. These two meatballs..."

Zodraz says, "Two? There's only one there."

Ookla burps.

Lucabrasi begins to turn red with anger.

Zardoz quickly stands up and says, "Thank you Luca. Aerith, what did you bring?"

Aerith stands and shyly says, "I brought these flowers for a wonderful decoration for our dinner. This basket of flowers I filled with wild flowers that grow in a church in Midgar. They represent the beauty that is found everywhere, and....

Zodraz says, "Uhhh... the basket is empty."

Ookla burps.

Aerith says, "Oh my... who would steal my flowers?"

Zardoz quickly stands, "That's quite alright. Sephiroth, what did you bring?"

Sephiroth says, "I brought the turkey of course. I like to bring the turkey because it gives me an opportunity to show my carving skills."

Sephiroth looks down at the turkey, his face growing into an expression of detached calmness. He reaches down to his Masamune blade, and there is an audible click, as the hilt leaves the scabbard."

Zardoz yells, "Quick, everyone duck!"

Sephiroth's blade flashes in a gleam of silver. With an explosion of movement, the blade arcs through the air, and flashes again. Sephiroth's face belies no emotion as he swings the blade in dizzying arcs around the table. Sephiroth pauses and replaces the sword into the scabbard. There is and audible click, as the hilt rests home.

Zardoz peaks up from under the table.
Jezz peaks up from under Zardoz.
Zodraz peaks up from under the table.

Zodraz says, "The turkey is still there."

Sephiroth says, "Wait for it."

The turkey is perfectly still. Then threadlike slivers appear, and in one sudden movement, the entire bird collapses on it's platter in a pile of slices.

Zodraz's mouth drops open.

Ookla reaches across to grab some turkey.

Luca says. "You! Mok... you ate my meatball!"

Aerith yells at Ookla

Sephiroth eyes the scene and holds his sword.

Thundarr grabs some food and throws it at Barabbas.

A food fight breaks out.

Zardoz watches helplessly saying, "People.... People.... Can't we all just get along?"

Jezz giggles.

Zardoz shakes his head and says, "Now where will we go for Christmas dinner?"


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