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EARTHDATE: June 28, 2009

Inside Scoop page 1


ZARDOZ GOES SOLO

by Zardoz

Ainokea Planetary Exchange
The exchange building is round with seats surrounding a pit where the main trading takes place. Video screens are scattered about giving rolling updates to exchange prices and the seats are equipped with data terminals for merchants to place orders or to execute a sale. In the pit itself, is the characteristic that sets the Ainokea exchange apart from other exchanges. Prices are determined based upon the results of a mud wrestling contest which takes place in the pit. Two buxom bikini clad, and in most cases female, wrestlers grapple in the mud to the roar and delight of the crowd. The success of one over the other isn't the deciding factor for lowering prices, but instead it is the success of the wrestlers to retain their apparel that determines the stability of prices. This method makes absolutely no economic sense, but was instituted because in the words of one merchant, "Hey, do ya think that the wife would let me see this if it wasn't work related?"

Zardoz is here. Zardoz is wearing a wedding ring.

Zodraz enters the room.

Zodraz says, "Hey Zard, what do we have planned today?"

Zardroz looks up and fixes Zodraz with a blank expression, "Plans? I have no plans. Jezz has left us."

Zodraz looks exasperated, and says, "Zard, she is just taking a short break. She will be back soon."

Zardoz sighs and says, "I know Zod. But a day without Jezz is like a thousand years."

Zodraz rolls his eyes and says, "Zard, pull yourself together. I know, you can make a spreadsheet. That will cheer you up."

Zardoz shows Zodraz a length of paper and says, "I have made one. I computed out the elapsed time of Jezz's absence, and correlated it with the decline in comm traffic and general malaise of my soul."

Zodraz glances at the printout and says, "Zard, there is a circular expression in this spreadsheet."

Zardoz breathes a heavy sigh and says, "I know, it's indicative of the endless circle of loneliness I feel without Jezz."

Zodraz rolls his eyes again and then is silent for a bit as the action in the mud pit on the floor of the exchange heats up. He ducks to avoid a flying bikini top that has been dislodged and watches as the price of nanofabrics takes a sudden plunge on the ticker.

Zodraz turns to Zardoz and says, "Well, we can always find something to do. Let's go to Altwerkz and make another alt. We can name him 'Smokeytehbear', and say that he is Zand's."

Zardoz sighs and says, "I'll have to sit this one out, it just won't be that fun without Jezz to laugh at Zand's outrage with me."

Zodraz carefully regards Zardoz and says, "Zard, I'm worried about you. Giving up a chance to do a Zand joke? That's so unlike you."

Zardoz looks off into the distance and says, "It's just not the same without her Zod."

Zodraz pauses and begins to think, then suggests, "We can find a newbie, and tell him that there is cheap insurance in the radioactive room on Titan."

Zardoz shakes his head and says, "No, the fun in that was always seeing Jezz's reaction as she had to convince the poor player that it wasn't true. No, not today Zod."

Zodraz says, "We can throw darts at our Freya Dart Board. You love to do that."

Zardoz sighs and says, "No, it would just remind me of Jezz, since she always beat me at that contest."

Zodraz pauses to think again, and says, "Well, we can annoy Hazed. You never pass up a chance to do that."

Zardoz's eyes narrow as he considers that.

Zardoz says, "Annoy Hazed. Hmmm... What did you have in mind?"

Zodraz brightens as he sees Zardoz's interest. "Well, we can send in 1,000 emails to feedback without FED2 in the subject line..."

Zardoz shakes his head, "No, did that already, several times. We need original."

Zodraz thinks, "We can call nightwatch on the sleeping staff people in CD's...."

Zardoz says, "Nah... too obvious."

Zodraz says, "We can leave a mess of candy wrappers by the candyman...."

Zardoz say, "Been done to death."

Zodraz thinks and says, "We can smuggle a raygun into Fed."

Zardoz displays his raygun and says, "We did that already."

Zodraz thinks and says, "I know, and this is original!"

Zardoz says, "What, Zod?"

Zodraz says, "We can submit an article to the Star that offers nothing of informative value except suggestions on ways to annoy Hazed!"

Zardoz smiles and says, "Perfect."

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