Official News page 7

REAL LIFE NEWS: MOBILE PHONES ARE GOOD FOR YOU. NO WAIT, THEY'RE BAD FOR YOU!

by Hazed

Two recent studies show that mobile phones are capable of both great good and great evil.

The first study shows their good side. It seems that people who receive text messages reminding them to use sunscreen are more likely to use it. The University of California sent text messages to certain individuals reminding them to slap on the cream, depending on the weather. They varied the messages so people didn't get bored with them - for example sometimes they said "Slap on some sunscreen" and sometimes "Sunscreen is your friend."

A control group were sent no messages. But both groups were given special bottles of sunscreen to use which recorded how often they were opened. The result: those who received the messages used sunscreen 56.1% of the time, whole those who weren't nagged by phone only used it 30% of the time.

Score 1 for cellphones being a force for good.

But then along comes a study which shows cellphones can be deadly, making you much more likely to be killed horribly in a road traffic accident. Users taking part in a virtual street crossing survey were put on a treadmill and asked to cross a road in a virtual reality environment. Those listening to music were able to navigate traffic as well as the average pedestrian, but users of hands-free cellphones took longer to cross the same street under the same conditions and were more likely to get run over.

So as has been reported before, there's something about talking on the phone that takes up so much of your attention you fail to respond to things around you fast enough. Cross a road while gabbing on the phone and you could get killed.

Cellphones are, therefore, evil and should be destroyed!

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