Official News page 7

REAL LIFE NEWS: ROBBER'S HIDEAWAY BECOMES A CRUSHING EXPERIENCE

by Hazed

A robber who hit a local Wal-Mart then hid from the police nearly ended up severely injured, or even dead, when he was hauled away by a rubbish truck.

Police in Alliance, Ohio at first had no idea where the robber was hiding. After they were called to the store to search for a suspect who was accused of trying to shoplift approximately $1,000's worth of goods, they spent about 40 minutes looking for him, but he appeared to have vanished into thin air.

Then the police got a call from the thief's friend. He said that the robber, James Brienzo, had phoned him asking for help... because he'd hidden in a dumpster behind WalMart which had then got picked up and dumped into a trash truck. The idiot also called 991 himself, saying, "I'm in the back of a trash truck that keeps compacting me."

The emergency officials used the signal from Brienzo's mobile phone to locate him and police frantically searched for the truck. It took them 16 minutes, during which time the hapless thief was repeatedly crushed as the truck picked up more rubbish and compacted it.

Finally police found the truck and stopped the driver, who was startled to learn about his unexpected passenger. They tried to release Brienzo from the truck but in the end had to dump the whole load out before they could dig him out from a mountain of cardboard.

"He was in pretty bad shape when they got him out, he didn't look too good," one witness told reporters.

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