Official News page 1

NEW APRIL FOOL CHARM ON SALE AT GALLAGHER’S

by Hazed

It’s been a while since Anton Gallagher has announced a new charm on sale in his swanky shop on Earth, but now he’s back with a special charm for April Fool’s Day.

Displaying the new accessory, he seemed very proud of this multi-purpose offering. It is a box, painted yellow and red (quite garish and not very attractive, if you ask me, but then tastes do vary). When opened it contains a variety of things. Some of them are the kind of jokes you would expect from a traditional April Fool’s Day, but there are also some nice surprises too.

The charm is priced at one slithy tove, and is available to anybody who owns the TenBrane keyring from which these charms can be dangled. Buy it with ‘BUY BOX’ and then once you own it, use ‘OPEN BOX CHARM’ to find out what is in the box of tricks. There are eight possibly surprises, so keep trying until you see them all.

If you ‘CLIP BOX CHARM’ that attaches it to your keyring, so that anybody who looks at you will be able to see it. Why not show off your bling!

The previous charm, a dragon, has now officially been taken off the shelves and is no longer available. But unofficially, we know that the venal assistant always keeps a box hidden under the counter and is always prepared to sell it to those who missed it when it was legally on sale, at double the price. Just ‘BUY DRAGON’ to get it.

So just where has Anton Gallagher been during his absence? He refused to be drawn, rebuffing all questions from reporters as to his movements. Rumors have been rife, of course, giving a variety of reasons why he suddenly vanished with no warning, some of them boring and mundane reasons to do with minor health problems, some of them wild and wacky theories about secret trysts with a famous personage in some faraway love nest.

However, a Fed2 Star reporter spoke to the shop’s assistant and asked her just where the boss had been, and by offering a substantial reward for the information managed to ascertain the truth. We can now reveal that the reason for Gallagher’s absence is that he was away giving birth to octoplets. Yes, he is now the proud father of eight little babies: he is an octopop! She said she had seen them and although she didn’t have any pictures to prove her assertions she described them in great detail as being green-skinned, which suggests a Rigellian as the other parent. She also mentioned that they seemed to spend a great deal of their time in the bath.

When we asked her about the co-parent, all she would say is that it was somebody extremely highly placed in Fed DataSpace. Even when we offered even more money, she refused to say more, and would only mumble about the personage being just about as important as you can get and that she didn’t want to risk their vengeance.

Well, I think we have enough information to draw some conclusions, but let’s not make any hasty speculations in print just in case we anger the wrong person...

Fed2 Star index Previous issues Fed 2 home page