POSTS OF THE WEEK
Stardate: 134181:2030 - Wildbill: The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Stardate: 134193:6969 - Wildbill: Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Stardate: 134201:5480 - Wildbill: My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.
Stardate: 134201:5701 - Wildbill: Pat: Hey, Chris! How’s your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.Chris: To tell you the truth, I’m really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can’t believe it!Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he’s a parrot fish.Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you’re never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.Chris: That’s what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It’s driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?
Stardate: 134220:8622 - Wildbill: Two cannibals meet one day. The first cannibal says, “You know, I just can’t seem to get a tender missionary. I’ve baked ‘em, I’ve roasted ‘em, I’ve stewed ‘em, I’ve barbequed ‘em, I’ve even tried every sort of marinade. I just cannot seem to get them tender.” The second cannibal asks, “What kind of missionary do you use?” The other replied, “You know, the ones that hang out at that place at the bend of the river. They have those brown cloaks with a rope around the waist and their sort of bald on top with a funny ring of hair on their heads.”“Ah ha!” he replies. “No wonder.. those are friars!”
Stardate: 134226:2667 - Hazed: Wildbill - those weren’t friars, they were chipmonks
Stardate: 134226:2883 - Hazed: Oh dear. I just failed the Turing test.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Wildbill, “howdy folks....here’s one for Sealiss...A good baker will rise to the occasion, it’s the yeast he can do.”
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, “Dough... we have to roll with that comment!”
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Wildbill, “howdy, Hazed..hear you’re pretty good in the kitchen...you could probly take cheese and make some grate things...”
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Hazed, “Yes Wildbill, I curd do that. I know the whey.”
Your comm unit crackles with a message from Wildbill, “they tell me if you’re gonna bake dog biscuits you need to use collie flour”
