Fed2 Star - the newsletter for the space trading game Federation 2

The weekly newsletter for Fed2
by ibgames

EARTHDATE: January 13, 2013

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by Hazed

No dumb criminal this week, but some very odd ones. It seems cartoon characters are running wild!

In Melbourne, Australia, a man has reported being beaten up by some smurfs. It happened when he walked out of a 7-11 and was approached by a smurf - or at least, somebody dressed as a smurf. The blue being asked for a cigarette, and when the man offered him one, he demanded that it be lit for him. The man refused, so the smurfs attacked and knocked him unconscious.

The victim also reports that he saw the smurfs trying to jumpstart a nearby car in order to steal it.

Now, you could put this down to intoxication on the part of the man reporting the attack, but there is video footage of the smurfs in the 7-11 shortly before it all kicked off.

We also have reports from the UK of a man being attacked by Oompa-Loompas!

In the film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory these creatures are midgets with orange faces and green hair.

The victim was in a kebab house in Norfolk in the East of England. As he left, he was confronted by two men dressed as Oompa-Loompas, who attacked him and left him with cuts to his face, nose and lip, and two black eyes.

Police have appealed for witnesses.

What next? Can we expect to see Barney the purple dinosaur lumbering down a street somewhere attacking passers-by?

Source: http://io9.com/5975235/australia-is-the-latest-victim-of-the-global-smurf-crime-conspiracy

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